When the Pen Bleeds

THINKING OF YOU

The surprisingly cold breeze on this hot day touched my whole body as I'm sitting here under the shade of a narra tree.

'When will he come here?' I said to myself while trying to be patient.

I unknowingly picked the grasses around me just to suppress this boredom that I'm feeling.

" Sorry. I'm late." His clarion voice really made my heart flutters.

Agad akong tumayo sa kinatatayuan ko at nagkatagpo ang aming mga mata.

A wide smile was formed from my lips when I saw that his almost perfect face is already fixed on me.

" Nah. It's fine. "

I felt how the butterflies grumbled inside my stomach when he gently grabbed my hands and lead the way going to our favorite cafè whenever we would see each other.

Tahimik lang kaming naglalakad pero hindi yon hadlang para maramdaman kong sobrang saya ko. This kind of silence is enough to savor the moment that we're having together.

The aromatic smell of coffee greeted the both of us as we enter the café.

Just like our usual routine, we sit facing the glass window and ordered two caramel macchiato.

" Akala ko hindi ka na dadating eh" panimula ko nang maiabot na sa amin yung order.

He shook his head because of what he heard.

" Bakit naman hindi? You know how much I love you Gem, kaya kahit anong mangyare hindi ko magagawa yon"

I sipped my drink and stared at him. Mukha naman syang nagtaka sa ginawa ko.

" But what if one day, we won't see each other? Paano kung sa paghihintay ko sayo don sa ilalim ng puno, hindi ka na dumating?"

I bit my lower lip to control these tears that are about to flow down from my eyes.

Why is my heart felt so heavy? Why do I have this feeling that this would be last time that we will see each other? At ayon ang ayaw kong mangyari. Mahal ko na rin si Lucas.

He tried to comfort me by patting my head. He also flashed a smile as if he's assuring me that what I said was wrong.

"Gem. Stop thinking like that okay? Don't worry about the future. Let's focus on the present. Tingnan mo? Ang saya natin ngayon diba, and that's what matters the most. I know this wouldn't be the last time we're going to see each other."

That's the last words he said and gave me a soft kiss until I felt how my eyes slowly opened because of the familiar voice that is echoing all over my room.

" Oh geez Gem, you're crying in your sleep again."

Agad ko namang pinunasan ang mga luha ko nang mapansin kong nasa harapan ko na pala ang bestfriend ko.

" Why did it felt so real? I know it's real Yna. Yung mga hawak nya sa akin, yung h-halik nya, totoong totoo."

My friend looked at me worriedly. Iniisip nya atang nababaliw na ako. But I know I'm not.

" Gem, ilang araw ka ng ganyan, lagi mo nalang sinasabi na totoo yang lalaking yan sa mga panaginip mo. If that was real, then you shouldn't be here. Hindi ka dapat nagising. "

I touched my lips that he kissed a while ago. Ramdam ko pa rin kung paano dumampi ang malambot nyang labi sa akin.

I heaved a sigh and just decided to do my morning routine to forget all those things that happened.

" Uy Gem. Tara muna sa café, take out tayo."

I just forced a smile because of her idea. Sa lahat ba naman, talagang sa café pa gustong pumunta ng kaibigan ko.

Pagkapasok namin, I decided to just sit near the counter since magtetake out lang naman si Yna.

' I wish everything was true Lucas' I said to myself trying to divert my attention into something else to avoid myself from drowning into thoughts that were just a product of my dream.

" Two caramel macchiato for me ma'am."

I suddenly stopped from scrolling on my phone and felt the chills all over my body. It's his voice.

" Lucas" I mumbled, enough for him to hear his name from his back.

"I-It's you." I added while I can feel that my lips are trembling because of awe.

" Excuse me?" My heart ached because of what I heard. Hindi nya ba ako naaalala?

" Y-you're Lucas right? It's me, G-Gem."

I know it's him. He surely is the man from my dreams.

" Sir, two caramel macchiato for take out"

" Yes, I'm Lucas. Pero sa pagkakatanda ko wala akong kilalang Gem. I'm sorry." He was about to go out from the cafe but I quickly grabbed his wrist which made him stop from walking.

" W-we met already. I-I know this sounds weird but we met in my d-dreams. We're so inlove with each other Lucas." Mas lalo siyang naguluhan sa sinabi ko. His face crumbled because of what he's hearing.

" Miss. Kung nagjojoke ka, I don't have time for that. My girlfriend is waiting for me inside my car so I really have to go."

As he made his steps away from me, my tears started to flood off my eyes. My chest felt heavy as well.

Napakadaya naman ng panaginip ko. How come I'm dreaming of this real man but he doesn't know me at all.

I wept on the ground when I remembered what he said in my dreams.

He's right, that wasn't our last time seeing each other. But this time, this would be the last for sure. And he left me with anguish that I can't blame to him.

Because after all, I'm the one who's just dreaming about him.
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WORK OF FICTION

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