When the Pen Bleeds

WHITE LADY'S SLIPPER

"Nature, like humans has complicated relationships Sean." She blurted as she put down the 'Handbook of Flowering and Non-Flowering Plants' on the wooden table in our school's garden.

Tinaas ko ang isang kilay ko. I know that she is an agriculturist student but she doesn't have to brought up topics about her studies and compare it in real scenarios.

" So what love?" I asked which made her glare at me. " Wala ka talagang kwentang kausap. " She said and continue reading the book. I prodded her with my pen countless times but she just ignored me. Mukhang nagtampo ata dahil hindi ko sinabayan y'ong gusto niyang sabihin.

" Ito naman. Nagjojoke lang ako eh. Sige na Rose tuloy mo na sasabihin mo. I'll listen." I uttered and placed both of my arms on the table and looked at her intently as if I'm ready to hear her out.

She narrowed her eyes for a few seconds and put down the book once again. " I was just saying that we all have complicated relationships, isa na rin d'on ang nature." Panimula niya ulit at saka ibinuklat ang pahina ng libro na para bang may hinahanap siya.

" Nature is complicated? In what way love?" tanong ko naman pero hindi niya ako sinagot. Instead, she moved the book closer to me and pointed a picture of a flower. It somehow resembles an egg shell because of it's shape and color except that it has on opening in one side and above it was a yellow petal and leaves on top of it it looks like an umbrella protecting the flower.

I glanced at her and smiled. " Diba ito ang pinakagusto mong bulaklak?" Siya naman ang ngumiti at tumango bilang sagot sa tanong ko.

" The white lady's slipper orchid love. It's gorgeous, isn't it? But it's rare." She said as she fixed her stare from the image and even brushed it using her hands. " Rare because it is complicated before it blooms." She added without even staring at me.

" Why?" Tipid ko ulit na tanong sa girlfriend ko. Palagi niya lang sinasabi na ang orchid na y'on ang pinakapaborito niya sa lahat pero  hindi pa siya nakapagkwento tungkol dito.

" Because it takes lots of years just for it to be matured to flower. Isa pa, sa isang may mataas na kalidad ng lupa lang tumutubo ang mga ganitong bulaklak. They're like humans." She took a glimpse from the plants that surrounds us. " Kailangan sapat lahat ng kailangan nila bago sila lumago at maging matatag. In white lady's slipper's case, they need specific nutrients na sa rare grasslands lang din matatagpuan."

" In short, napakadami pang kailangang pagdaanan bago sila bumunga. That was just one of the reasons why I said that nature has complicated relationships kagaya ng – sa atin." Ang mga nasasabik niyang ngiti kanina ay unti-unting naglaho.

I held her hand and caressed it using mine. "We can get through this Rose." I assured her. I didn't see that coming. Talagang kinumpara pa niya ang bulaklak na gusto niya sa relasyon namin. She's indeed bright and different from the other girls that I met – and that's what I love about her.

Mabilis niyang inialis ang kamay niya sa pagkakahawak ko nang kunin niya ang phone niyang nagriring para sagutin ito.

"Mom?" She distant her self away from me in order to not heard what she and her mother were talking about. Ano na naman kayang sinasabi ng mommy niya tungkol sa akin?

She speedily arranged her things and was about to left without bothering to look at me that's why I grabbed her arm. " Anong sabi ng mom mo love?" I asked.

She heaved an audible sigh. " W-Wala Sean. I need to go. B-Bye." Paalam niya ng hindi man lang nagawang lumingon pabalik sa akin.

What's the matter with her?

Lumipas ang ilang taon ng walang Rose na nagparamdam sa akin. I tried to call her and even went to their place but no sign of her at all.

Alam kong ang mga magulang niya ang dahilan dahil ayaw nila ako para sa anak nila, pero sana man lang nagpaalam siya ng maayos sa akin.

We promised to each other that we will fight for our love yet I was left fighting for our relationship alone.

Habang nakaluhod na pinagmamasdan ang mga halaman, kinuha ko ang phone ko at saka itinututok ito sa napakagandang bulaklak para kuhaan ng litrato. I glanced back to the actual flower and memories of us flashed vividly.

" We should be together here in North America enjoying the beauty of these orchids Rose." I mumbled to myself as I brushed the white lady's slipper. Natatandan kong sinabi niya sa akin na ang orchids na kagaya nito ay native ng lugar na 'to kaya nagplano kaming pumunta dito.

" It's more astonishing than the pictures right?" Drop of tears spilled from my eyes upon hearing the pleasing voice that I missed for six years.

I wiped the water using my sleeves as I felt her presence beside me. " I-I waited for y-you." My voice started to tremble when I turned to face her.

Maganda pa rin siya at – mahal ko pa rin siya kagaya ng dati.

She tucked her hair behind her ears and let out a sigh. " It's the right thing to do Sean. A-Ayokong mapahamak ka ng dahil sa p-pagmamahal mo sa akin." Nauutal niyang sagot habang nakatitig pa rin sa bulaklak.

Tumayo ako sa pagkakaluhod at iniligay ang dalawang kamay sa bulsa ng pantalon ko. " Bakit hindi natin i-ipagpatuloy ngayon? Siguro naman kaya mo nang lumaban hanggang dulo?"

Iniangat niya ang ulo niya at saka tumayo para humarap sa tapat ko. Nakita ko ang pamumuo ng luha niya ngunit kasabay n'on ang pagtunog ng telepono niya.

I shook my head and showed a bitter smile while she's checking her phone. This is the same scene when she left me back then. At alam kong gan'on din ang mangyayari ngayon matapos niyang ibalik ang phone sa bulsa ng damit niya.

" S-Sorry Sean. Hindi ko na maipagpapatuloy ang laban dahil nagsimula na ako ng p-panibago at natapos ko na rin 'to. I have my h-husband now." Tears started to flow my eyes again and she did the same. My heart ripped into pieces. All this time, ako na lang pala ang umaasa na babalik ulit sa lahat ang dati.

" But you'll always be in my heart S-Sean. I-It was just our relationship years ago was too complicated." Dagdag niya at saka nagsimulang maglakad palayo sa akin – ulit — at sa huling pagkakataon.

I stared at the white lady's slipper orchid once more.

Rare but beautiful– just like my Rose.

Complicated relationship with the nature — just like humans — just like the two of us.

WORK OF FICTION