When the Pen Bleeds

TEMPORARY JOY

Enclosed with loud noises and ecstatic group of people, I know that I'm here in my favorite place already.

Just hearing their cheerful laughs and endless screams made me more excited to hang with them.

As I roamed my eyes, a group of jolly friends near the carrousel caught my attention. They looked so happy while savoring a large cotton candy enough to be shared to each one of them.

Thrilled with what I saw, my feet automatically moved towards them.

" Hi!" I greeted with a wide smile on my face but they didn't care to just even glanced at me.

" Would you mind If I join you guys? Let's be friends." I added hoping that they would notice me but I was wrong. They continue their chitchats and left me still standing alone.

I sadly went back to the bench as my heart felt heavy.

Bakit palagi nalang ganito? Bakit palagi nalang nilang ipinapamukha na wala akong karapatang magkaroon ng kaibigan?

"Pst." I lifted my head and I saw a young man in front of me smiling from ear to ear as if he's happy seeing me alone in this place.

" A-are you t-talking to me?" I asked in confusion but with gladness at the same time.

He just shook his head and sit beside me.

" Anong dinadrama nyo dyan? If you think you're alone, then I'm here. I can be your friend."

My stomach felt a tingling sensation because of what he uttered. I placed my right hand unto my chest as I also felt an unusual feeling.

I shouldn't be like this.

" So you wanna try the roller coaster?" He asked joyfully.

I was just about to answer him pero huli na ng kunin nya ang kamay ko at patakbo kaming pumunta sa roller coaster.

We both screamed so loud as the roller coaster starts to move fast.

Para kaming mga batang sigaw ng sigaw hanggang sa matapos yun.

" Did you enjoy that insane roller coaster?" He asked while some tears are falling from his eyes.

I laughed silently because of his face. It looks like he still can't get over with that roller coaster.

As we noticed that the sun is already setting, we decided to went back at the bench and savor the relaxing breeze that caressing our bodies.

My lips formed a smile as I realized that the last time I felt so happy was a very long time already.

Kaya hindi ko maiexplain yung galak na nararamdaman ko ngayon kasama ang lalaking nasa tabi ko.

My attention was caught when a ball of shining light appeared in the sky. As I looked at him, his eyes were already fixed from where it is coming.

I guess he already knew.

" S-So I think you already know who I am?" tanong ko habang sumisikip ang dibdib ko dahil sa mga pumasok sa isip ko.

I waited for his response but he just flashed a sad smile which made my tears escaped from my eyes.

" Y-you know that I'm just a g-ghost right?" tanong ko pa habang patuloy pa rin ang pagbagsak ng mga luha ko.

He still stayed silent and walked slowly near the light that is still flashing brightly in front of us.

Sinundan ko sya at saka mabilis na hinawakan ang kanyang kamay dahilan para lumingon sya sa akin.

His jolly face a while ago faded and turned into a sad one.

" I know you're just a ghost."

Napayuko ako sa sinabi nya.

Hindi dapat ako nalulungkot. In fact, I should be happy because before I even left this place, at least there someone who know that I exist.

" And you also know that it's my time now." I added.

He stared at me and slowly touch my cheeks.

Mas nadurog yung puso ko nang makita ko kung paano unti-unting tumulo ang luha sa kanyang mga mata.

I can feel the agony that he's suffering. Is it because I'm leaving already?

" I'm sorry." He mumbled while his tears still flooding non-stop.

" I-I should be the one saying sorry. Sorry kasi hindi ko agad sinabi na multo lang ako... na hindi naman ako tunay na tao eh."

" I'm sorry kasi ngayon lang ako lumapit sayo. Dapat matagal ko nang ginawa to eh. I should accompany you earlier so you wouldn't feel alone in this place. Matagal na kitang nakikita pero hindi kita nilapitan agad kaya sana patawarin mo ako."

I smiled because of what he said. Nakikita nya na pala ako dati, and I'm already contented with that.

" I-It's okay now. I understand. I won't feel alone now. Hindi naman na ako malulungkot sa pupuntahan ko." I said while I took a glimpse from above.

I felt how both of his hands gently hold mine. He's still crying and that makes me feel the grief as well.

Malungkot na iiwan ko na yung nag-iisang lalaking nagparamdam sa akin ng ganito because even when I'm still alive, I didn't have the chance to experience all these things. Ngayon lang ako naging sobrang saya ng ganito.

The light shines more brightly as if it's saying that I should leave already.

Muli kong ibinaling ang tingin ko sa kanya and his eyes were still fixed on me.

" P-Patawarin mo sana ako kung kakalapit ko pa nga lang sayo, iiwan na agad kita."

As he said those words, I witnessed how his body shines just like from what we can see in front of us.

My tears turned into loud sobs.

" It's not your time yet. It's m-mine. I-I should leave already but I promise that I will wait for you from above."

That was his last words before his whole body completely faded in front of me as well the light coming from the sky.

I felt how my knees trembled which made me collapsed to the ground.

I wept unstoppable because of what happened. Now it makes sense. Ako pa lang ang iiwan nya at hindi ako ang iiwan sa kanya.

He saw me because he's also a ghost just like me.

WORK OF FICTION