HIM

chapter 12: Relization hits hard

About  maybe thirty minutes  later, although what seemed like a few years, everything stopped. Finally, I tried to put myself together, but had nothing left, no strength, barely even a voice. I have to get out of here.
Why haven’t they found me yet? How far away from town am I?  I wandered so many things, realizing I'm slowly losing track of time. How long have I been missing?  When was the last time I ate? All these questions, no answers. Jack probably thinks I'm losing hope, giving up, logic being messed up. All those things are true.

He finally left. What just happened will haunt me in my dreams. The same thing played over and over again in my head. Never stopping.  The ways he hurt me, carelessly. I sat in the corner of the room, on the verge of tears. I could barely walk, think, or even breathe. He took everything from me. I have nothing left, I can’t fight anymore. Although I know I need to keep going.

I was too scared to even move. Every little sound scared me. I didn’t know when he would be back, or if he would be back. I didn’t want to make things worse with him, but I knew to stand my ground. I felt that I was failing everyone. No one can save me, no one to help me. No one can hear me. He’s one of the richest guys in the school, who would ever believe me? There is nobody in my corner. Not even the police. This can’t go to trial.

For the first time in a long time, I was a little happy to be alone. Normal people would try to escape, But I knew if I thought about it, he would hurt my sister. Everything seemed to hit me all at once. I started crying then before I knew it, I was having an anxiety and panic attack, having trouble breathing. I remembered to breathe and relax.

Once I finally calmed down, I realized I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since the night of the party. I’m not going to ask if I can have food or water. I was terrified no…. Petrified. I knew if I didn’t comply, it would be worse. It was times like this when I know one thing but am told the complete opposite, that ends up confusing me.

I don’t really know what time he came back, I didn’t know how long I have been here. This all had to be planned. He didn’t find this place while we were driving down the road. Maybe he found it with Jack when they were kids.  If this place was a hideout for them, Jack will remember, or pick up more clues. He’ll find me.

I was so exhausted I blacked out for a moment. Then I was back on the bed. I didn’t even remember walking or getting on the bed. I looked around, no one was with me. I drifted to sleep. That day, night whatever time it was, I fell in and out of sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, I relived everything, the pain, the need to keep fighting to not show your weakness. I feel so alone. I’ll always be alone.