HIM

chapter 33: Nightmares

The police had gotten our statements, then dropped us off at the hospital; I didn’t realize I was shaking with both fear and shock. They had contacted our parents to notify them about what happened. Even Rick’s parents, I can’t imagine hearing that your kid is dead. The more I thought about it, the more guilty I felt. I snapped out of my thoughts, walking into my house. when my mother greeted us at the door rapidly taking Lily into her embrace, not wanting to let go; repeatedly saying “I’m sorry, are you okay.” I headed upstairs, Lily was my main concern, although she was everyone's concern. Lily followed me upstairs and into my room.

“Emma.” she said in a quiet voice. “Yea?” I said sitting on my bed. “Thank you.” I looked at her sympathetically, motioning for her to sit on the bed. “You're my sister, I wasn’t going to stand by and let him hurt you.” She nodded.  “Did he.. hurt you?” I said pausing for a moment. She shook her head. I nodded again, “Were you scared?” she asked “There’s nothing wrong with being scared.” I said quietly. “Then, how come you didn’t look scared?” she said. “Lot’s of practice.” I smiled, “Stop quoting movies.” we laughed, “It’s true.” I said, taking a deep breath. “What happened? I know you already told the police, but I need to know.” I said, my face turning serious.

“Jack dropped us off at school, I walked into the school. After the first period we had a little break, we went outside. I was sitting down on the sidewalk.  Rick came to me with a gun, he said if I didn’t go with him, he’d kill you, and hurt me.” I winced at the thought of something happening to her because of me. “He led me to the car, and then drove off. We went to the house, he led me to this room. It looked vacant, and odd, like something you would see in a horror movie. He pushed me on the bed, and told me to stay quiet.  I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if he would kill me. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”she sobbed. “It isn’t your job to worry about me, it’s my job to worry about you.” I said, holding back tears, pulling her into a tight longing embrace.
“Is that all that happened?” I said stroking her hair. “N-no” she said, hesitantly. “What happened next?” I said letting her go realizing that she was hurt, in more ways than one. She sounded ashamed. “Lily, did he hurt you?” I asked again noticing her body language immediately. She nodded her head, breaking down feeling ashamed. “I-I lied to y-you, I-I’m sorry.” She said while I pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s okay.” I said, We got up and went to the park.

**********
1 month later

One month later, I'm still getting through everything, even going to counseling. The counseling has been helping, although I thought it never would. Lily and I have to go once a week. Sometimes I think back to what would’ve happened if Rick stayed alive, we would have gone to trial. I would have had to see my attacker, tell them what happened, what he did. I’d have to tell everyone what he did, what I did.
I sat on my floor, covered by carpet; knees to my chest, breaking down. Unable to contain it, the rush of  numerous emotions flooded my body. Once I pulled myself together, Lily came into my room. “Do you think we can go to the park?” she asked quietly. I nodded and got up.

We drove to the park, getting out and locking the red mustang my parents had gotten me as a way of saying sorry, I knew they felt bad. I just wanted to forget everything. Lily being the curious thirteen-year-old she was, went straight to the swings. Something about being at the park soothed her.
Something about being on the swings, feeling the wind in your hair; leaning your head back, closing your eyes, imagining your flying. Almost as if nothing else matters. Like nothing could bother us.
About an hour or so later, we headed home. The rest of the day we spent time together, talking, laughing, processing; anything to get our minds off of what we’d been through. It was Sunday, now december 10th. I know it was supposed to be cold, in california, it was pretty nice. I spent the rest of the day reading, spending time by myself. Although I started wandering to other subjects, I’d really rather  not go in depth.

Around seven-thirty, I got ready for bed, dreading the following day. I changed into black shorts and a black sweater. I continued the book I was reading; Girl Solen, by: April Henry. This book, I could Practically quote; the book has had my full undivided attention for years. It’s most likely the hundredth time I've read it. 
When I awoke the next morning at five,  I realized I fell asleep reading again. I’ve been doing that a lot recently. I changed into a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket and skirt with black heeled boots. I did my makeup simple, yet bold, by adding a dark burgundy lipstick. I hardly ever did a dark lip, but it seemed to go with the look. I curled my hair, pulling it into a half up half down, braiding the part that was up.

I got a bowl of cereal, and checked my phone. It was around six-forty, I still had time, I went to wake Lily up only to find her already awake and ready. “Breakfast” I said before she ran past me. I followed her to the kitchen, she was wearing black jeans, a denim jacket, and a white t-shirt with black combat boots.
Around seven-twenty, we left for school. My parents had to work so they were already gone. I parked my car and walked into the school. I went straight to my locker putting my books from the night before, inside before shutting it. This will be a long day.