HIM

chapter 24: having no idea

Emma just told me what all she went through, what all he did to her, what he forced her to do, everything, she went through hell. I felt useless, I have this all the time, I want to hug her, but I’m afraid she won’t let me. Maybe once this whole investigation is done she can just have a fresh start. Start a new chapter in her life. Try to forget what happened although we both knew this would be a long bumpy road. Maybe, just maybe.
There was one thing Emma didn’t know about what she just told me….. I recorded it, for proof, just in case she forgot or left something out, but also for the police, they want her testimony on record. I wanted to tell her that I recorded it, but I didn’t want to hurt or worry her even more than she already is.

She watched a lot of detective, and crime shows, so she knew that the defence attorney would rip her apart, breaking up her story, re-wording the questions, purposefully trying to confuse her, maybe even bring up things from her past. Emma has been in horrible situations before, she has dealt with sexual harassment, from mainly ex-boyfrinds, some boys on the football team; although she acts as though it doesn’t fase her. I know it does, things that happened years ago, still messes with her; she criticizes herself for what she did, and what she should have done differently.

Something told me there was more to the story, about why she doesn’t want to go to her house, But I didn’t want to pressure her. Does Emma even want this to go to trial? Will Rick come after her? How will they catch him? Will they even catch him? As more and more thoughts and questions consumed inside my head, I studied her body language. Emma didn’t show emotion that much, so it would’ve been kind of hard to know what really goes on inside her head, but today, she was showing every emotion, even subconsciously.

Will she ever trust me again? “Are you okay?” I asked, “Yea, are you?”
“I’m fine, just a little enraged” I said being honest, I knew she lied.
“Your fists suggest more than ‘enraged’.” She said gesturing towards my hands. She was clearly scared, yet tried not to show it; probably thinking I was going to hit her, I’ve been criticizing myself a lot; although I know it is just PTSD. Regardless, I knew no matter how much detail or answers I got from her, I truly had no idea what all hell she went through. Although, now looking back at everything from the time we’ve known each other, she never really liked talking about her home life, she never even invited me over. I wonder why?