HIM

chapter 29: home

When I woke up, Jack was beside me. “Hey,” He said quietly. “Hi.” I said just loud enough to reach his ear. “How do you feel?” He said getting comfortable on the bed. “I feel a little better.” I said while sitting up a little bit. “What time is it?” I asked. “Three in the afternoon,”  Just then his phone rang, he answered while saying, “Hello…..Mrs. Dawson…. “I felt myself tense up. “Yes she is, she just woke up… Yea, I'll bring her… alright, bye.” He looked at me, “I have to take you home.”

I nodded and we walked out to the car. I got in, then he did, he started the car. “Why do  I have to go?” He looked at me while pulling out of the driveway. “Your mother is worried. So is your family.”
“Fine.” The rest of the car ride was silent. The closer we got to my house the more I tensed up. “Why don’t you want to go home.” He said looking at me with a worried and said expression. “Nothing.” I said,

He pulled up to my house, “Bye.” he said while waving, I waved back and walked inside my house. My mom ran up to me, and hugged me while crying, “I’m so sorry.” She sobbed, “It’s okay, mom I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to my room.” She nodded. “I’m gonna start dinner in a little while.” She handed me my phone, I looked at the time, ‘three thirty, october 31, 2019’.

I headed upstairs, and put my phone on the charger. I looked at myself in disgust. So many bruises cover my face and body. I looked around my room, My bed was by the wall closest to the door. And my dresser was beside my bed. I grabbed some clothes and took a nice long relaxing shower.

Once I got out of the shower, I just layed on my bed, reading, until my mom called me for dinner. After I ate, we just had a normal conversation. “When am I going back to school?” I asked. “Whenever you're ready.” I nodded. “So, Monday then?” My mom looked at me. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?” I nodded again. “I want things to be how they were before all of this.” They nodded. “There will be a lot of people who will start to talk, let’s talk to the police before we make any decisions.” I nodded before heading back up to my room.
I laid on the bed, listening to music. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk or see anyone. A few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. “Em, it’s the police, we have to go down to the station for a line up.” I nodded and we left. It was just me and my mom, we pulled up and got out of the car. Detective Hughes led us to the room, “Are you ready?” Hughes asked, I nodded and 10 men came in, as I stood at the window watching. “Can they see me?” I asked, getting worried. “No.” I nodded, “Take your time.” I nodded again. “Number four,” I said, getting embarrassed. She knocked on the window, “I know that was hard.” Hughes said in a concerned tone.

“When can I go back to school?” I asked insinuating that I wanted things back to normal. “She wants to go to school on Monday.”
“That is your choice, just take it slow. And get lots of rest. I’d suggest taking at least two weeks off, just focus on you. I’d also suggest going to counseling.”  I nodded before leaving.

We got home, and I went back to listening to music. I grabbed my diary before locking my bedroom door.

I just want things to go back to normal, but they can’t. Will I ever be the same? Will this ever be over? I saw him today. In person, but through a window. I saw the look in his eyes. The look I'd seen one too many times. They haunt me in my sleep. Regardless of how many showers I take, I never feel clean. I feel as though I have no one in my corner. No one to care, no one to ask me if I'm okay. It’s so weird because when they do ask, they ask constantly. I just want things to go back to normal, Is that too much to ask?
Love, Em.

I closed my diary, and started thinking of all the good memories I had.
I changed into a white t-shirt, and black shorts. I tried going to sleep early. What time is it?  8:30. I went to sleep, dreadfully. Knowing that I’d wake up soon.