Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 1 of 2)

May 3

May 3

I will never be a morning person.

I don't mind waking up early to do personal things. Even then, I'm not a huge fan. I do my best work at night, anyway. My writing is better. I'm more creative. I'm more honest. When I have to wake up at 6 a.m., only to go work at some meaningless job for shit pay, that's another story.

I literally worked three hours at The Store this morning. Three hours! It was so stupid. I was moving so slow the entire morning, too. Those three hours felt like an eternity. Fortunately, an early start meant an early finish. I clocked out at 10 a.m., and then sped out of the mall parking lot like a NASCAR driver.

After work, I wasn't quite ready to settle in at Casa Z for the day, so I decided to take a little side trip to IKEA. I have yet to use the sewing machine that I got for Christmas, and lately I've really been wanting to try it out. I figured it would be a great idea to buy an accessory kit to jumpstart that process. Because, you know, that's just sound logic. So, that's what I did at IKEA. I also bought four pant hangers and a hot dog. With all of my windows down, I peeled out of the parking lot, blasting Christina Aguilera as I drove 100km/h on surface streets.

Back at Casa Z, I had some lunch and began looking at an alarming lack of job postings online. I also tried to follow up with the music production company. The lady I wanted to talk to was "on the phone," and I was told she would have to "call me back." Naturally, that never happened. I'll try again in two days. Fuck.

While waiting for the phone call that never came, I continued reading my Chelsea Handler book. I love every word that woman writes. I wish I could be as funny as Chelsea. Maybe I can. I just have to sit down and actually write for once.

Earlier last week, I was texting with my friend Adam Daniels. He's one of the few friends that I have in the Casa Z area, and I told him that I was going to be in town a little more often this month for work. Adam was quite happy about that. I think he's lonely. Well, duh. Adam lives in the boonies and doesn't have a car. Even if he's not lonely, he's certainly bored.

Adam told me that he was going to get off work around 8:30 p.m. tonight. With Mom and Dad downtown at the Toronto Raptors basketball game until at least 11:30 p.m., I figured it would be the perfect opportunity for Adam to come over to Casa Z for some fun. The plan was for me to pick up Adam at his work, and then drive us both to the house. It couldn't have come at a better time, either. As Cher Horowitz from Clueless would say: "What that man needs is a good, healthy boinkfest!"

It's now been about one week since my last sexual encounter with Bryan. I'm not sure if I ever ended up writing about what happened, actually. As usual, Bryan and I finished our typical straddle/masturbation routine, which always leaves me feeling less than satisfied.

When all was said and come (hehe) that night, I looked up at Bryan. In a disappointing tone, I sighed, "I thought we were going to have sex tonight."