Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 1 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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June 27
In an attempt to make up for my lack of physical activity and general laziness, I woke up a bit earlier today so that I could clean up the mess of my life that occurs after 10 p.m. each night. I also did a small set of calisthenics before I took the morning train to work.
While walking to the bathroom this morning, I hit my foot on the edge of my bed. The impact pulled the pin in my toe sideways, and it absolutely killed. It was one of those moments when the pain is so bad that you lose your balance. I collapsed onto the bathroom floor, and held the toilet as I dealt with the throbbing pain that was coming from the worst possible place.
Of course this type of injury would happen two days before I am supposed to get the damn pin out. From that moment on, right until I hobbled into bed tonight, my toe hurt about as much as it did during my first week post-surgery. I knew something like this was going to happen. Now, my fear of being crippled longer than necessary is probably going to become a reality. Fuck.
As far as workdays go, today was great. The Clubhouse wasn't particularly busy, and I was able to work on my own stuff while managing the front desk. That's what I meant when I wrote, "excellent at multitasking" on my resume.
When 4 p.m. rolled around, it was time to go home. Around that hour, I also realized that I hadn't eaten anything all day. That's when you know that your days are going by fast – when you don't even think about food. Hmm. Maybe I really am happy! I did end up having to stay a bit longer to cover for the evening girl who was late, but I get paid by the quarter-hour. An extra 15 minutes on my pay check is fine by me.
Despite my throbbing foot, I really wanted to walk home from work tonight. So, I did. Alison and Kyle invited me to go see Finding Dory with them, but I wasn't on board. When I got to my apartment, I realized how much I had fucked up my toe after this morning's rude awakening, and told Alison and Kyle that I wasn't going to be able to make it. As a compromise, I invited the two of them over to the Witch Cave to hang out before they went to the theater.
Truth be told, I actually really wanted Alison and Kyle to come over tonight. I was lonely. However, such an invitation also meant that I would end up smoking ridiculous amounts of weed, eating a lot, and not exercising.
The kids left my place at 9:30 p.m. By that time, I was so stoned that I spent the rest of my night sitting on the couch, mindlessly eating pita bread, and watching a Chelsea Handler documentary about drugs. Eventually, I rolled into bed at 10:30 p.m. Now, I'm shutting down for the night.
Today was really a low-key day. The foot thing is really bothering me. I am so miserable as it is, I don't want this recovery extended any longer than necessary. It was nice to have Kyle and Alison over tonight, though. We watched a few episodes of The Nanny, had a drink, smoked a lot of weed, and then they left to go to the movie. It's nice to spend time with them while I can, seeing as they're both moving away in a few weeks. It always makes me sad when friends leave. Both because they won't be around for casual hang outs and you eventually lose touch with someone you care about – i.e., Katya, who I miss with all my heart – and also because I'll still be here in the city, not going anywhere or doing anything new.
I received an interesting email from Ameena at The Toronto Film Group this afternoon. Ameena asked me how things were, and wished me a belated happy birthday. I'll respond tomorrow with a detailed message on how disappointed I was in the hiring process at The Toronto Film Group. Maybe it will spark something on her end as my former manager. When you think about it, that entire situation really was idiotic. Someone who had experience in multiple departments, was smart and well-versed in a number of different areas, and actively wanted to be rehired by an organization where people are dropping like flies, was passed over for someone else with no internal experience. Fucking trash. Trash, dahhhling! Trash! I'll be honest, though. If the right opportunity came up at The Toronto Film Group, I would probably leave The Clubhouse. I really want to wear shorts to work again.
My stomach is about to explode. I need to practice my breath control to deal with my pregnant gut. Oy.
Let's end this journal entry on a positive note. My unemployment insurance was miraculously approved again for the second last time, which means I'll have another $490 in the bank tomorrow. Thank the Lordt! My bank account is slowly growing, which makes me so happy. When my foot is back to normal, you best believe that I will be on the first (moderately priced) flight out of here!
