Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 1 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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March 8
Didn't sleep in too late this morning. Good thing too, considering yesterday was mostly a write-off.
I started working on a few different things soon after I woke up. Job applications, event stuff – the usual. I also received a call from the Montessori school amidst all of that early morning productivity, thus ending our short-lived game of phone tag. To sum up the conversation:
"It was a tough decision but, unfortunately, we had to go with the candidate who had more experience in the educational world."
Mhmm. Fuck. There goes another one. Whoop dee doo! The headmaster was very nice, though. She thanked me for my time, and I also appreciated her letting me know the result, even if it wasn't the most positive of news. Most employers aren't that courteous. After I hung up the phone, I just went back to what I was doing. Moving on.
At first, I didn't think I was too upset about not getting the job with the school. I kind of expected the rejection, to be honest. A few hours later, however, I had a moment. A very tearful moment of sobby whatever. I was watching a YouTube video of Mariah Carey singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and I lost it. The dam broke. Cue the waterworks. I think I just needed to get that out of my system, though. Sort of like an emotional purge. As such, my moment didn't last long. I wiped away my tears, made myself look like a normal person again, and got back to work. I don't have time to waste. I have so much crap to do for this MOMENTS party, along with a lot of other commitments. I need to focus.
I walked to the gym in the afternoon. Once there, I naturally spent more time obsessively lurking Logan's Instagram account than I did exercising. Like, it was very creepy. See tonight's Instagram video. So much for focusing.
Anyway, I went through the motions and eventually finished up at the gym. By the way, my foot is fucked up. There's literally a half-inch gash on the bottom of it. Stupid winter. Stupid walking. Stupid exercising. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I limped home, picked up a snack at the grocery store along the way – oh, sue me! – and then settled in at the Witch Cave for the night, picking up where I left off.
Tonight, I finished the promotional poster for MOMENTS. It looks pretty damn good! I just want one final review tomorrow morning and then I'll send it over to Kate to be...printed! She's going to take advantage of the fancy-schmancy, expensive printers at her work, saving me hundreds of dollars. A literal angel! Bless her.
I've got a busy day tomorrow. I really wanted to take a bath tonight but, once again, time got away from me. This evening, it was due to smoking a lot of weed, masturbating, and then having no energy and wanting to fall asleep for a thousand winters. I definitely considered it.
Oh, wait. I also spent a lot of time on Instagram again tonight. I made and posted three videos. They're a bit more forward than some of the other ones in terms of a "hidden message." As in, they each feature songs with very clear lyrics, all of which could easily relate to one another. "Creep" by TLC, "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah, and "Age Ain't Nothing but a Number" by Aaliyah – all of them directed at you know who.
I just want to hear from Logan. Motherfucker. Just send me a goddamn text message, you asshole. Is it that hard? I'm right fucking here! Notice me.
