Swan dive // Izuku fan fiction

10

Bakugou's POV

"IZUKU NO"

My body jerks awake to the flashback of Izuku killing himself. I pant harshly trying to catch my breath as I wipe the sweat off my forehead.

I look at the time and it is 2:12AM. I go to the bathroom and splash some cold water in my face trying to calm myself a little more. I look at myself in the mirror and sigh thinking of Deku again. If I want to channel him can he ignore it? 

Its been 3 days since I told him I liked him. I put on some socks and shoes and head to Izuku's house again. 

I go inside his room and sit in his bed a while in complete silence hoping he want's to see me again. I sit there for another 15 minutes but I don't see, hear, or feel him. 

I go to his closet again trying to get a shit or another hoodie of his. His smell keeps me calm and the thought that he wore it makes me miss him more.

I look next to his laundry basket and see the black duffle bag. I take it out and place it on his desk, I turn on his desk lamp and open the bag. A strong smell of weed and alcohol fills my nose. 

I close it in shock of how strong the smell was. I open it again and cover my nose with Izuku's hoodie I was still wearing.

I take out needles, 5 empty baggies that seem to have carried drugs but are now empty, 4 empty bottles of alcohol and an ID. I look at his ID, his name, birthday with a fake year to make him older than 21. He did look different, a little more mature although he had a baby face. 

What did you take?

I put everything back inside and back in the closet.  I stand there for a while thinking to myself

I felt my chest tighten, and throat closed not being able to breath.

Even if you hadn't  jumped off you were going to die from all of this. Why didn't I stop you? Why didn't I insist the moment I saw you on the roof?

I begin to cry harder and stumble back onto the bed

Please talk to me Izuku.

I slow my breath trying to concentrate on him again.

"Kacchan"

I look up at him, his face looks sad. His eyes were puffy and red. I reach my hand out, he reaches it out too aligning our hands together. His hand was slightly longer than mines.

"Izuku. I'm sorry"

"There's no point in apologizing Kacchan. You need to forgive yourself. What I did to myself was my own choice. Now you need to make the change"

"I know.. But I'm still sorry, I wish I expressed my feelings better." I wipe my face with his sleeve and sit up stright.

"Is that my hoodie?"

"Umm yea. I'm sorry it-"

"It's okay." he looks back towards his closet and back at me and stares at me for a while. I blush a little bit and stare at him worried.

"you looked through the bag didn't you?"

"I'm sorr-"

"It's okay, someone had to find it eventually."

"What did you take?" I blurted out. I covered my mouth knowing it's none of my business.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be mean I ju-"

"Kacchan if you keep apologizing for everything you do I will never see you again"

I nod and look down at my hands fidgeting, holding back another apology that was about to leave my mouth. He sat on the floor and sighed, he looked at the floor for a moment then looked up at me. 

"weed, shrooms, acid, heroin, coke, two tequila bottles, and two vodka bottles." 

My eyes widen how did your body not drop dead when you took all that?

"my tolerance grew, if you're wondering how I handled it. Honestly I'm surprised too."

We sat in silence for about 5 minutes not sure what to say. With his finger he follows the lines of the wooden floor. 

"you didn't leave a note" we look at each other, he takes a deep breath.

"well.. I know it would be haunting." He gives me a soft smile and starts to fidget with this ring finger.

he's lying

I stand up and start to look between his books.

"w-what are you doing"

"you did leave something, you're lying to me"

"n-no Kacchan I d-didn't there's nothing to look for" he stands up and stares at me I turn around to face him. His feet are close together and he's still fidgeting his finger.

"move" I commanded as I get closer to him.

"No K-Kacchan there's nothing"  I push him slightly as I look at the wooden floor. I touch the floor, trying to find a loose board. 

I press down and slightly move a board. I take it out and place it to the side to reveal 6 notebooks.

"Kacchan please put those away"  

I close my eyes tightly I don't want to see you. I open my eyes and look around. He's gone.

I take out three notebooks and then the other three. They are each numbered with the title nightmares and more.

I open the first notebook. His writing was slightly messy, the page was slightly stained what seemed to be water but was probably his tears. 

April 26 4:23AM

The nightmares started a couple days ago. But they started to become more vivid, and scarier. I remember the first one. I was at the top of some building, it seemed to be very tall because I was able to see the entire town. The sun was setting, it was beautiful. Purple was blending with pink. I felt at peace. My body would jerk harshly when I would fall and maybe my body hit the pavement which causes me to wake up. My heart beat was beating fast I thought I was having a heart attack. I was sweating a lot too I changed my shirt. 

I read more pages with what seemed to be the same dreams but sometimes they would be different from the last. I saw some sunlight creep in the bedroom window. I grab the notebooks and head out the house and back to my house

-

Suicide hotline site:http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

USA suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255