To Love and Lost

Kentrel Pov

It was the middle of then night when I heard my phone buzzing I carefully pulled my arm under queen and picked up my phone, I got up and went to the other room and answered the phone ''yo'' I said trying to figure out why the number looked so familiar ''hey ken can you come get me please'' no wonder I thought it looked familiar it was Bianca's number she sounded like she was crying ''Bianca you know how late it is man'' I told her '' please'' I sighed and unlocked the door to make sure nobody was listening ''fine send me the address''  I told her before hanging up I had a soft spot Bianca I don't love but she know that I'll be there for her of she needed me I went back to queen room where she was laying down sleep I went over and put the rest of the cover over her body I picked my shirt up off the floor and had put it on then I had put my shoes on and left I got in and saw where the address was and drove off. When I pulled up Bianca was already outside I got out and went over to her when I got closer I saw her face was swollen her lip busted and a lump the side of her face. ''Bianca what the fuck happened bruh'' I said running to her she ain't say anything all she did was drop to floor and cry I felt bad I wanted to know who  did this to her ''Bianca you have to tell me what happen I can't help you if you won't tell me'' I said lifting her face up ''he did this'' she said still crying I knew exactly who she was talking about I rushed upstairs where her dad apartment was he was never home so it was her house basically. I broke the door open seeing the same nigga that was at my damn door trying to talk to queen ''aye bitch didn't I tell you that I was going to kill next time I see you'' I said calming walking slowly to him his bitch ass was scared ''so you putting your hands on her'' I laughed a little he was known to beat girls so when I saw him trying to talk to queen I snapped instantly ''you're a bitch'' was all I said before I started to beat his ass I couldn't beat his ass like I wanted since queen was there. After beating his ass sense less I left he was still breathing but he should know not to play with me or anybody else before I got out the door he had the nerve to say watch my back all I did was laugh and went outside to see Bianca in my car sleep I got in and started to drive around she started to wake she looked at me for a minute before speaking ''thank you'' was all she said ''why won't you just leave B, you have family out of town go live with them'' I told her ''I was going to do that ken, I'm leaving in two days I just want to say bye to you'' she said I parked on the side of  the road and looked at her ''so this is it then'' she smiled and said yeah we looked at each other for a minute before she climbed up top of me and started to kiss me at this point we both where kissing roughly she pulled down my sweats and was stroking my shaft while she did that  I pulled her shirt over her head and started to leave hackies on her breast her moans filled the cars as I slid in her and started to pump in and out her while she started biting and licking on my neck she started to bounce up and down, after us going in for 10 minutes she lifted off me and told me that she'll miss me. I went back on the road and drove her to her aunt house we hugged and I left, I was in front of my house getting ready to go in when I received a text from queen saying where I go I texted back saying I was outside the whole time and that I'm in front of my house she read it and replied ok and told me ok i didn't want to tell her that I left her house to go pick up a girl I use to fuck with and had beat the living sense out the dude that came up to her for beating up Bianca and after all that I fucked her, nah I think that would cause a problem I didn't like lying to her but it is what it is I can't tell her right know got in the house went to my room and fell asleep another day a different issue I said to myself before I went to sleep. ''WAKE THE FUCK UP'' was all I heard before I felt someone jump on me ''OOF'' I said feeling queen jump on me and on to my bed ''TIME TO GET UP WHERE ALMOST LATE FOR SCHOOL'' she said leaving my room yelling I rolled over a put the covers over my head ''COME ON NIG-...'' was all she said before I threw a pillow at her big head ass it was quiet for a minute so I went back to sleep before I could even get comfortable I heard pots and pans being bashed to get ''GET.THE.FUCK.UP.NOW.WHERE.GOING.TO.BE.LATE'' she said with every bang I jumped and tried to chase her but instead I tripped over my shoes and fell completely on the floor I groaned out of pain and all I could do was hear her laughter I just laid there and for just a sec of laying I started to laugh with her she came over and gave me a hand to help me up. While we where walking I was noticing her phone was blowing up like crazy ''aye you good'' I asked her she looked at me with the most aggravated look on her face ''bruh Jayden have been blowing up my phone this morning'' she said shutting her phone off completely ''damn want me to tell him to back off'' I said she shook her head no ''I'll tell him my self thanks though'' she said I said ok and we kept walking we came up to the school and everyone was outside as if something was about t go down ''aye bet behind me'' I told queen and she did as I  told her I had saw one of the football players and before I could get his attention shooting was heard I instantly looked behind me and I grabbed queen hand I ran over to a safe spot and made sure she was safe ''QUEEN LOOK AT ME ARE YOU OK'' I asked her she panicking and I could tell she was about to have a panic attack, I had to calm her down before had one ''wh..here.... Is..An..Angela'' I could tell that she was doing her best I've seen queen have a panic attack before and it would always scare me I would do everything to make sure she was ok but I couldn't stop this ''queen look at me I'm going to get her but you have to calm down for me please'' I begged her, she started to take deep breath ''I'm gong to get her stay her'' when I started to look for Angela all I could see people running away I saw two bodies laying on the floor with pool of blood there in my head I was hoping that Angela wasn't dead I felt someone tap my shoulder and when I turned around I saw mya covering her ears ''THE SHOOTING BEEN STOPPED BUT THERE STILL RUNNING AROUND HERE LIKE THERE STILL SHOOTING'' she yelled Angela could never take anything serious I hugged her because if she was dead queen would never be the same ''COME ON'' I said dragging her where queen was when I made it over there queen was still crying but it wasn't that bad when she saw us she got up and ran over to me and mya and hugged us ''oh my gosh y'all are ok'' she said ''of course where ok'' Angela said looking and wiping her face ''what happened'' I asked mya took a deep breath and said ''there was a post saying that someone was going to shoot up the school because someone decided to be bold and put there hands on there family'' she said showing me a post of ole dude I beat up last night in a hospital bed I gave it back to her ''there going to cancel school because two bodies are found outside dead'' she said I looked at queen and she had a unfazed look on her face that's when I told mya to update us if anything happen she said ok and left. We where in front of queen door she stopped and turn to face me I reached for her bit she stopped me ''I...I don't know what it is kentrel but....please tell me you wasn't the one that pissed these people off'' she said with her eyes watering I was heart broken I didn't want to be the one that hurt queen in no type of way I just stared at her she just shook her head and went in before I could even speak she slammed the door in my face I turned around and called big J ''speak'' he said ''you saw'' was all I said ''yeah come over'' he said before hanging up I had to fix this and I had to make everything right I can't keep lying to her it's to much damage. I had just walked into big J office and sat down ''so I see some niggas came and shot up y'all school'' he said before sparking his cigarette shit was nasty ''yeah two bodies killed and we can't come back until the school is fixed'' I said he shook his head ''ok lil nigga'' he put out his cig and looked  at me ''were gonna get them cause one there's more to the story you little friend was almost hurt'' he said ''yeah she was about to have a panic attack I can't have her having one'' I said ''ok I got you I'll update you if I we find anything'' he said I shook my head yeah and left. (a week later) due to only some windows being broke from the shooting we where out of school for only a week and for a week I haven't heard anything from queen she hasn't even came to school since the last time I seen her I asked mya if she talked to her and nothing there was nothing knew to who exactly shot up the school but were still looking. Today was our first game of the season and I felt like she wasn't coming I closed my locker and waited for my couch to come in and tell us what are game play was after practicing the game came and queen was nowhere in sight Jayden came and asked ''who you waiting for queen'' he said with a little laugh ''bitch'' I said before going on the floor we waited as everyone was ready to play I don't know what it was but something told me look up and I did right when I did I saw queen coming in she didn't look my way but when she came I was feeling like she forgiven me but when she took a seat in the crowd right next to mya she had no smile it looked like she had been crying for days no sleep either at that just looking at her I felt like this whole situation is my fault I needed to make everything good between us I could tell she wasn't ok every time mya wouldn't talk t her she would put on a fake smile and she would bounce her leg frantically I was snapped out my daze when I heard the bell ring for the game to start. We was almost done and every now and then I would sneak quick glances at queen and she would have that same unfazed look on her face as if she didn't want to come if this is how she acts right now about this little issue I don't want to know hoe she acts when I do, do something terrible to the fact she'll never forgive me I needed to fix things. The game had ended and I needed to catch up to queen I saw her leaving so I decided to call her name ''QUEEN'' I yelled I knew she heard me because she hesitated to look back but kept walking so now at this point I started to push everyone out my way and I ran in front of her ''queen'' I said out of breath she just looked at me even though she look tired she was still beautiful to me ''can we please talk it's killing me that I don't have my bestfriend next to me'' I told her she just stood there I took her hand in mines and she didn't even move it, it was like she wanted to feel my touch and I'm glad she didn't move it either I miss her I miss having my bestfriend ''wait here for me'' I asked and she gave me a small smile and said ok I quickly ran back to the locker room where all the boys where huddled up and when I got closer they saw me and started to leave It didn't really faze me until Jayden came i rolled my eyes and closed my locker ''what the puck do you want'' I said this nigga was really a creep for real ''I just came over to tell you that there's a party if you want to come'' he said ''nah I have plans'' was all I said before slamming my locker and giving him a fake smile then leaving . I went outside and saw queen standing next to my car on her phone I went up to her and opened the door for her so she could get in. It was silent and she wasn't going to say anything no time soon either so I spoke ''so ugh your ok'' she didn't say anything ''ok then'' I said  to myself I turned the radio on and lil tj ruthless came this was a good time to play this because we both favored this song I looked at her and she looked at me and started t dance a little with a smile on my face she was trying so hard not to laugh until I started to do that little ghetto hand in then she started to rap jay critch part ''check up they don't wan see me win flex up I'ma jump out the gym new water watch that young boy swim'' she rapped I joined and we both finished and where just laughing I looked at it was whole difference in what I saw today it was like she missed me I know I missed her she took a breath and she had that same unfazed look on her face ''please don't'' I said already knowing that she was going back to depressed queen ''do what kentrel'' she sad checking her phone ''we just sat here a rapped our favorite song and laughed and you switching your mood like really queen'' I said kind of mad ''KENTREL WHAT THE FUCK, YOU EXPECT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL AFTER WHAT HAPPEN PARENTS LOST THERE CHILDREN THAT DAY AND WHAT HAPPENED IF IT WAS YOU OR ME'' she said yelling I didn't say anything ''OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING AND WHEN I ASKED YOU DID YOU HAVE ANY PART INTO WHAT HAPPENED YOU DIDN'T SAY NOT A DAMN THING SO THAT MADE ME BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING IN FACT PULL OVER IM GETTING OUT'' she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt ''no'' I said she can be mad but I'm not letting her walk home it's to dangerous ''PULL OVER KENTREL'' she said pulling the steering wheel making the car go crazy ''FINE THE FUCK'' I pulled over and she got out I got out also ''YOU ALWAYS GOT TO DO THAT'' I said chasing after her if we had ever argued it was always me chasing her ''DO WHAT'' she said turning around and coming up in my face ''I'M FUCKING. SORRY IF I CARE FOR YOU I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT WORRYING ABOUT YOU IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS DO I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT I'M ALWAYS THE ONE THAT WANT YOU TO GET OUT THIS SHIT BUT NO STAY IN THESE STREETS AND DIE I'M DONE KENTREL WITH THIS I'M DONE'' she said with tears streaming down her face she turned back around and started walking away I grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug she needed it at this point she was full blown crying I hated this I didn't know she felt that way ''I'm sorry queen'' I said she started to hit me and slap me I let her do it because I deserved that she stopped and sat on the ground ''it don't have to be like this kentrel you can make it out of here but you do this stuff what happens when you get caught up then what'' I sat next to her and wiped her face ''queen for one I'm never going to leave you here if I make it out your coming with me and two  got this queen please stop killing yourself over this I'll stop if you want me I will but I need you to stop worrying please'' I told her, she shook her head ok and we just laid there for awhile until I a text came in saying I need to go to the trap in a couple of minutes ''who's that'' I looked at her I didn't want to upset her ''it's my dad'' I told her which was a lie she said ok we got up and went back in the car and drove home I stopped in front of her house ''you coming over tonight'' I knew she wanted that ''of course I'll be over there see tonight'' I said ''ok love ya'' she said and I told her I loved her too and left I went straight to the trap I got out and went in ''aye what's going on'' I asked everyone they were all gathered and it was quiet ''so y'all can't here'' I said getting mad I went closer to see them looking at a video the I noticed something I didn't see big J I didn't ask all k did was look at the video. When I saw the video it was a video big J being shot several times....he was dead....he's actually dead I told myself ''here'' Devon said handing me a letter I looked at the letter before opening it up it was a letter BIG J wrote he must've known he was going die I started to read it and I couldn't believe it he left this shit to me ''he's giving me this'' was all I said everyone was happy for me but for me it was different....how the hell am I going to leave this shit know.