To Love and Lost

Kentrel Pov

"QUEEN we got to go man what you doing'' I said every time it comes to her doing her hair she takes forever I be ready to go in there and grab her and leave ''HOLD YOUR HORSES NIGGA'' she yelled I was looking at the text my dad sent saying we needed to talk k texted back ok and went to Instagram I went to my dm's and saw that some girl was trying to talk to me I opened it and she was fine I went to her profile and saw that she goes to our school I texted back say wassup and turned off my phone queen came out and was looking sexy as ever ''you ready'' she said putting on her earrings ''I been ready'' I told her we got in and went to school. I was in class when the girl texted me saying how she always wanted to talk to me but she thought I was in a relationship I asked her what made her think that she then went on to say how she would see me and queen together I told that queen was only my bestfriend that's why were so close the bell ringed to indicate that lunch was starting I waited for queen to come but when she was coming out she was talking to mya and this dude ''what the hell'' I said cause I never seen him before in my life ''hey kentrel'' queen came up to me but I was focused on the nigga that was in front of me he looked some what familiar to me but I didn't know from where ''hey wassup mya'' I said ignoring ole dude ''wassup can we go I'm hungry'' she said and all of us went in when I was going in my eye caught the girl was texting so I told queen I'll be back so I went to the girl and tapped her she turned around and when she saw me she had a big smile on her face ''omg hey'' she said hugging me I looked her up and down and her body was banging nice tis, big ass and small waist in my head I knew I was going t have fun with her ''hey. so can I get you name ''I asked she laughed ''it's Yvette and your kentrel'' she said well damn fuck my introduction then we exchanged laughs and at the end I got her number I told her that I'll hit her up and went back to my table where queen mya and her girlfriend was I saw ole dude getting close to queen so I scooted in between them and gave queen a tight smile ''hey friend'' I said she looked at me with that really nigga face ''nothing we just talking about how you left us to go talk to big booty Yvette'' so that's what they call her I mean I ain't complaining cause that nickname fit her cause she show did have a big booty ''yeah I had got her number'' I said ,for a split second  I thought I saw jealousy in queen eyes but she looked away ''good for you, we should do a double date then'' she said biting into her fry I looked at her for second before picking up what she just said ''no'' was all said ''why not'' she said looking at me she knew why ''queen I'm not doing no double date'' I told her ''fine mya you wanna do a double date'' she said turning to mya ''sure why not I'll ask Mariah if she want to come'' she said I looked at mya like she was crazy I turned my head and saw ole dude smiling in his phone ''aye bruh who the fuck are you anyway'' I said irritated ''Curtis'' he said without making eye contact..... Bitch ''well ''Curtis'' you need to leave'' I said all serious ''nah I'm good'' he said making eye contact ''I wasn't asking'' he said we both were standing up ''well I don't care I'm not leaving'' I was about to throw a blow at this nigga head when I felt queen touch my chest I looked down at her and  was about to say something before I could she grabbed ole dude hand and left ''nice one kentrel'' mya said ''what'' I said in confusion ''I don't get you, you go over to Yvette laugh in her face and get her number and expect everything to be cool but once queen get a guy attention you feel the urge to run them away like come on my guy why won't you just be happy for her'' angela said before getting up I just sat there like did that really happen. For the rest of the day I was sleeping in class since queen was mad at me for my little scene on the lunch room I felt a light tap on my shoulder I looked up and saw it was Yvette ''hey'' I said lifting my head ''hey is it ok I sit here'' she asked I said yeah and she sat down next to me for the rest of the class we where talking about going to the fair tonight I agreed when I said that I looked to see queen staring she had a mean mug on her face but when she saw me looking she turned her face I took a deep breath and continued my conversation with Yvette. The bell had finally rung and I was waiting for queen she finally came out with Curtis next to her laughing I just stood there I had to remember what mya told me I need to be happy for her, they hugged and said there goodbyes when queen came over she said hey and got in we was on the way home when I asked her she wanted to come to the fair with me and Yvette she looked at me for a split minute before saying something smart out her mouth ''I thought you didn't want to do the double date'' she said I wanted to say fuck it don't worry about but I didn't ''so yes, no, maybe'' I said she was thinking before she said ok I was in front of her house and told her to meet us there and she said ok and went in I had forgot that my dad wanted me home so we could talk about something. I parked in front of my house and opened I saw him sitting in the living talking to someone it looked like a women I was gonna say damn dad already with the women but when the lady turned around my face held a blank expression and my body froze......it was my mother. ''the fuck you doing here'' I said in a calm angry tone ''aye don't talk to her like that'' my dad said getting up and looking at me like I was crazy ''DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT SHE LEFT US WITHOUT A WORD'' I yelled at him ''can you just calm down and let her explain what she did'' I looked at both of them laughed ''hell nah I'm out of here'' I said getting my keys my dad was yelling my name but I wasn't with the shit so I left, got into my car and drove off I couldn't think at all, a message came through my phone indicating that I received a text from someone I looked down and saw it was Yvette texting me I decided to go to her house and when I was there I texted her and told her I was outside she came out looking good as ever ''hey didn't think you where coming'' she said buckling up I leaned and kissed her she moaned a little bit before backing away ''wait kentrel'' she said pushing me away I was so caught up in my thoughts I wasn't listening she pushed me hard I just looked at her with tears in my eyes, her face softened at the sight of what she saw ''kentrel are you ok'' she said taking my hand I shook my head no and broke down ain't nobody seen me break down crying unless it was queen but at this moment I didn't care my mom was back and I hated her for what she did she left without a word. That night I was laying in  Yvette arms I was trying to figure what I was going to do I dropped Yvette home and she told me if I needed to talk she was there and to not hesitate to call I said ok and went straight to the trap, as I was walking everyone was working and dapping me up I got in the office was there the whole night. Morning hit and my phone was blowing up like crazy I looked and saw that I had missed calls from my dad and queen, queen texted me all last night up till this morning saying that I ditched her and that she should've known I wasn't up for it then that text and call her. I just looked at them and when I seen Yvette text saying good morning and saying she hope I was ok I smiled and called her,  her voice came in ''hello'' she said I could tell she was still sleeping ''oh my bad I'll call you later'' I said, I heard shuffling in the background indicating that she was getting up ''no I'm up you ok'' she asked ''yeah um...I was wondering if you wanna go shopping I need to get some stuff. maybe I can spoil you a little bit'' I told her she laughed and told me she'll be ready in 15 minutes I said ok and hung up I just sat there and thought about all this, I was the boss of this shit I had respect. From looking at big J he did a lot for him took me in when nobody was there I'm now living for him, he wanted me to run this and now I am maybe he knew what was going to happen. I was now leaving the  trap and was going to pick up Yvette when I received a call from queen I didn't answer because I didn't want to deal with her shit right now so declined it instead. I pulled up to Yvette house and texted her that I was outside, I waited for her to come out and when she did she had a blue crop top on and ripped up shorts that fitted her perfectly, she came in and hugged me damn she smell good ''hey'' she said smiling I told her hey and we left. We was now roaming the mall looking for stuff ''so you wanna tell me what happened yesterday'' she asked me, I looked at her for a minute before taking a deep breath and telling her ''my mom came back after she left me and my dad'' I told her ''after queen mom died she upped and disappeared like she didn't have a family'' I continued to say, she took my hand and looked at me ''kentrel you know you can tell me anything'' she said I didn't say anything ''maybe you should see what she has to say, it might give you answers what you need'' she said I thought about it and took in what she said. The rest of the day was smooth I dropped Yvette off and told her I'll call her and went driving around the block I was thinking about what Yvette told me and I had to try and get answers from her so I texted my dad telling him I would  be home in a minute to sit down and talk and he texted back ok I sat my phone down and started to think what type of conversation we where going to have when I get there. I was now in front of the door trying to find the energy to go in and sit in front of the women that left us, I twisted the knob and went in where I saw both of them talking they both looked at me before I saw my dad get up and come over to me ''you ready to listen'' he asked me I wanted to say hell no but instead I just shook my head yes and went over there. I was now in front of the women I used to call mom I was looking at a stranger ''I know you want answers and I can give them to you but k just want to explain'' she said I didn't say nothing I just looked at her ''why did you leave'' was the first thing that came out my mouth I didn't care about what she had to say I just wanted to know why ''of course.... Kentrel I was going through stuff you have to understand that I had just lost someone I really cared about-" I cut her off my doing a little laugh ''so you ran a way because someone died'' I said looking at her now ''that's not what I meant I loved queen mom with all my heart and thing was I was living a lie with all that'' she said ''so what we all loved queen mom she was a good person and what do you mean a lie'' I said she took a deep breath and started to talk ''not that type of love, I.....I was in love with her'' I was in shock for a minute did I hear this right I looked at my dad for a second before giving me a head nod ''I was in love with her since we were kids'' I stopped her and got up ''wait so your telling me your gay'' I said not even looking at her ''yes but-'' I grabbed my stuff and was about to leave until my dad got in front of me ''move'' I said ''no you need to hear her out'' I just stood there for a minute before turning around and going to sit ''I'll start from the beginning'' she took a pause before speaking again ''of course you know that we all grew up together and that things where happening. I never told Addison that I was in love with her because in middle school she was going out with James then they were off and on since high school we made decisions before we graduated to do all these things she even said that we would grow old together and our kids would be best of friends she even made me promise that. One night during a celebration party for our graduation I got so drunk and ended up sleeping with your dad it was a mistake but I didn't want to abort you so when I found out that I was pregnant I told Addison and she was sooo happy not just for me but that's when she found out that she was to I was happy for her I truly was, so up to day that we had y'all we where close but not that close like we used to she was a mother and so was I, I still loved her through all the things that happened. One day we were just talking and all of a sudden she was coughing up blood like real badly and I wanted to help her but...but she didn't want help she just stood there saying she didn't want help and I listened that day she told me that that she was pregnant with lay. She was sick and I couldn't do nothing and I hated that. When the day came for her to deliver lay I was there but when James called he said she was coughing up blood and that she could barely breath...I knew she wasn't going to make it we rushed to the hospital and waited in my head I was waiting for them to tell me that she was in that bed sleeping and lay was with her sleeping next to her but when they came out they face told me everything. I couldn't do it I was lost I had just lost the love of my life  what was I going to lose I now I made a promise to her but I just couldn't so I left and I knew I shouldn't have I was living a lie and I didn't want to bring down nobody with my issue so I left'' she said now crying I didn't know this and that my dad was covering for her all he was just a one night stand and that there was no love between them I just looked at both of them before leaving the house and going straight to queen house and I knocked uncontrollably waiting for her to answer but instead it was her dad he opened the door and saw me ''kentrel are you ok'' he said concerned ''no I'm not...I just found out that my mom was in love with queen mom since they were kids but not only this I just found out that my dad and her had no type of feelings but just a one night stand'' I said crying damn, I feel like a bitch he pulled me in a hug and broke down I feel like my life was over with.