To Love and Lost

Queen pov

  I was out with Angela and Curtis when I received a phone call from my dad ''hello'' I said answering it ''queen you need to come home now kentrel needs you'' he said I haven't heard from kentrel since two days ago after bailing on me ''ok I'll be there'' I said I hung up and told Mya and Curtis that I'll text them later. I was coming in the house when my dad pointed to the back of the room indicating that kentrel was in there, when I saw him his eyes were blood shot red ''oh my gosh kentrel are you ok'' I said he got up and ran to me and hugged me like I been gone for so long ''my mom is back'' was all he said ''wait what kentrel I need you to start from the beginning'' I said sitting both of us down ''I didn't stand you up that day but my mom came trying to make peace'' so that's who I saw that morning I thought walking in it was his mom ''she came and was confessing that the reason she left was that she was so in love with your mom she couldn't take the pain of still being here'' hold the fuck up did I just hear him right ''did you just say in love'' I asked him ''yeah like she wanted her and the thing is that when she saw my dad it was a meaning less night no feelings, just because she was drunk'' he said, I couldn't believe this I can't believe that the women that spent her whole life with my mom was in love with her. "I'm so sorry kentrel'' I said hugging him that night he slept in my arms and I couldn't make out why he was avoiding me it was because his mom was back I had the urge to throw up so I quietly lifted up and went to the bathroom I locked the door and started to throw up blood I was in so much pain I flushed the toilet when I heard kentrel trying to get in ''you ok in there'' he asked trying to get in ''ugh yeah I'm coming right out'' I said washing my mouth and opening the door ''are you sure'' he said ''yeah just some bad food that's all'' I said with a fake smile ''come on let's go back to sleep we got school tomorrow'' I said grabbing his hand and leading him to bed we laid down and went to sleep. The next morning came and we was getting ready I was telling kentrel that my relationship with Curtis was doing good he was a sweet person and he would tell me that Yvette was the same way sweet and caring, we where walking in class when I seen Yvette and kentrel walk in hand in hand I waved and they came over ''hey Yvette hey kentrel'' I said they both sat down and out of the blue Yvette said something ''hey queen I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for you mom death and what happened it must be very hard on you on how she died'' I looked at her confused I never told nobody that only kentrel and his dad know so how the hell does this bitch know about that I look at kentrel and say nothing. It was now lunch and I was still caught up on the part that Yvette really just came up to me and mentioned my mom, just when I was going to leave I seen kentrel talking to Yvette he looked kind of mad so I just went out the lunch room just when things go good for us it's like things tend to go bad in a split of a second ''hey'' kentrel said coming to sit next to me ''I know your mad but let me explain'' he said ''what is there to explain you told this girl about my mother for what reason you don't even know'' I said getting up ''I was mad, I didn't know she would do that queen I told her it wasn't cool'' he said catching up to me ''YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER IN  THE FIRST PLACE DAMN'' I yelled at him I don't like people in my business, when people seen me they saw someone that was a role model not someone that was broken no mother by my side just my father and my sister I hate this ''queen we just came to a good place man'' he said grabbing my hand I snatched it back and went in his face ''BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS DO SOMETHING STUPID KENTREL'' I walked off without looking back it was true kentrel was the one to always do something stupid and I was the one to fix it I was done at this point, I bumped into someone without thinking I a second  from going off ''hey you ok'' Jayden asked me ''yeah I'm fine you know just getting ready for the summer'' I said with a fake smile ''oh yeah I forgot you and kentrel are going to Atlanta for summer'' he said, not anymore it seems I thought to myself ''well I'm throwing a party this summer if you ever get the chance to come'' he said ''you know my number if you want to know anything'' he said walking off maybe I should take him up on the that offer. The rest of the day went by and I was ready to go home when the bell rang I ran out of school and started to walk while walking I saw Curtis pull up on the side of me ''now why are you walking'' he asked me I looked at him ''because I have no ride'' I said in a duh tone ''well get in and I'm not asking again either'' he said I stopped and laughed ''ok'' I said getting in ''where's kentrel'' he said with a tone of jealousy ''he's.... He's with Yvette you know there together'' I said looking out the window ''oh I forgot, are you sure your ok'' he asked I'm so tired of people asking me if I'm ok ''I'm sure damn stop asking'' he put his hands up in defense ''sorry just asking'' I took a breath and turned to him ''I'm sorry it's just everybody keep asking'' I told him ''I understand'' he said pulling up to my house ''thanks for the ride Curtis'' I said getting out ''no problem'' he said pulling out. I walked in the house saying I was home and making my way to the kitchen I stopped in my tracks when I saw kentrel's mom sitting there when she saw me she covered her face and started to break down ''oh my gosh you look just like her'' she said coming up to me I stepped back from her cause I'm not in the most good place with her ''oh... he must've told you'' she said I just looked at her and shook my head yes, I mean I'm in the face of the women that left my bestfriend and told him right when you came back that you left because you was in love with my mother and you couldn't deal with it so you ran away ''I just wanted to say I'm sorry'' she said sitting down ''why are you telling me that'' I said sitting down, the differences between me and kentrel was that he had a bad temper but for me I'll listen before I get mad and that's what I'm doing ''because I made a promise to your mother and I didn't keep it instead I ran away from the issue when I should have made the issue better but I made it worst, I made my own son hate me he can't even come home'' she said I looked at her funny because the only place kentrel ever goes is to my house or his own and he wasn't at my place the day she came ''it's just that.... I didn't want to live a lie'' so you left I thought  ''I just don't get why you're here'' I said ''because you know that I had feelings for her'' I just looked at her like she ain't say that I laughed and got up ''I'm so tired of people bringing up my DEAD mother like she's still her and you, how  do you feel about this I tired of this I'm done trying to make people understand but I just can't and since I've started my eleventh grade year the only thing me and kentrel done was argue and I hate it now if you don't excuse me I need to go and sleep'' I said storming off. When I reached my room I slammed and locked it I went straight to my bed and cried into my pillow talking about my mother was a big no-no fro me I hared the conversation so I would avoid it, a knock came from my door ''queen can I just talk to you please'' she said I didn't budge at all I just laid there and she starts to sing, I knew that song my mom would sing it to me every night I got up and went by the door and listened when she was done I was just sitting there doing nothing ''I made a promise and I'm here queen just open the door'' I was there for about a good minute before getting up and unlocking it ''queen let's talk, I know that since she died you haven't had nobody to talk to let me be the shoulder you cry on'' I just looked at her ''I don't need a shoulder to cry on, I'm fine and I've been fine since she's been dead'' I said closing the door who she to tell me that I need her when I don't even know her I just sat on my bed dozing off until I couldn't take the pain...I broke down I guess I did need a shoulder. I heard a knock coming from my window so I quickly wiped my face and turned around and saw kentrel there I went over and opened it ''where you crying'' he asked coming in I shook my head yeah and sat back down ''why if it was about the situation from earlier I can make it better queen'' he said I just looked at him and broke down he ran over to me and started to hold me I haven't cried so hard in my life I had to always stay strong for my dad....and for lay ''queen you have to talk to me'' all I could get was ''your mom came over'' I felt his body stiffen for a minute but relaxed I cried and cried until I was sleep.