To Love and Lost

Queen pov

I was waking up when I heard my dad and kentrel dad talking so I got up and went to see what was going on I went by lay room and saw she was still sleep so I closed her door ''this something he need to her that's all I'm saying'' kentrel dad said ''tell me what'' I said rubbing my eyes cause my vision was blurry ''nothing not you honey just go back to sleep I have something planned for us today ok'' he said I shook my head ok and went back to bed. I was getting ready for what ever my dad had planned ''LAY COME ON AND GET READY'' I told her she came still in her pajamas I went o her and picked her up and started to get her ready my dad came in the room I guess looking for her ''there you are here lay put your clothes on for me please'' he said I picked up my phone and saw a text from kentrel saying he call me later on today he would be busy I texted back ok and started to get ready  ''so what are we doing today'' I asked him ''nothing special getting some things that's all'' he said leaving the my room. I was walking out of the house when I seen kentrel and some other girl walk out also but before I could call him over my dad walked in front of me ''come on we don't have all day'' he said we made eye contact and when we did he quickly turned around, I got in the car getting ready to text him but instead was followed by my dad getting my phone ''no phones today only us'' he said before pulling off I just sat back and let it be I'll ask who she was later I guess I thought. We where at the mall walking around ''let's go in here'' my dad said pointing to a picture frame store we went in and we looked around for a quick minute before my dad went to the back ''why are we here'' lay said coming to the side of me ''I don't know you asking the wrong person'' I told her I saw my dad come back with a bag in his hand he was talking to some lady and he hugged her he walked over to me and lay ''y'all want something to eat'' he asked we said yes and went to the food court. We where eating when I decided to bring up a conversation ''so who was the girl you hugged'' I said drinking my sprite damn this shit strong and I thought McDonald's sprite was strong ''A old friend that's all'' he said eating I know damn well he like her ''ok so what's in the bag'' I asked him popping a fry in my mouth ''don't worry about it'' he said I shook my head up and down ''I'm going to the bathroom lay you wanna come'' she shook her head yeah and came with me ''I already know what you going to so we might as well go over there'' she said ''you know me so well'' I told her before be went off. We where in the store looking for the lady, lay tapped me and pointed to the lady I walked over to her ''hi is there anything I can help you with'' she was pretty dark skin and thick ok dad I see you ''yes there was a man that came in here he kind a look like me'' I said with a smile she looked me over before smiling ''oh my gosh you're his kids'' she paused ''you two look just like her'' she said ''we where friends back then that's how I know your dad and mom'' she said she guided me and lay in the back where we sat down ''I guess he never spoke about me but before your dad met your mom we where kind of a thing'' she said wait my dad went out with someone before mom I thought they were a couple the whole time they were a couple ''but he was on and off with her so I wouldn't call it a relationship, your mom was a great person even though we had something she didn't care'' she took a breath ''one day she came in my shop and asked me to do something for her I asked why and she told me she didn't have that much time that day she told me that she was sick and when I finished it I had got a called saying she died I was devastated so I called your dad and told him that she made me do something for her but she never got it he told me to keep until later on so here we are'' she said with a weak smile ''do you still love him'' I asked her ''I never stopped loving your dad he was happy with her and I didn't want to hurt anybody so I kept my feelings to myself'' she said I looked at lay ''there's a block party next week which is my birthday and if you wan to come you can'' I told her she smiled ''thanks I'll think about it'' she said me and lay got up and left ''I can't believe dad had another girlfriend'' she said ''me neither, but he need this he need to go out in the world and find someone else'' I told her. We in the ice cream shop waiting for lay to finish ordering her stuff while me and my dad sat down I was eating my ice cream when I looked up and saw my dad looking at me ''you look like her so much'' he said giving me a weak smile ''if she was here she would tell you that you are such a beautiful girl'' he said putting his head down I know this was a sensitive subject to bring up ''I know dad and if she was here she would tell you that your doing a good job and that she is proud of you'' he looked up and smiled ''can we go now I got my ice cream'' lay said coming over we laughed and got up and left we needed this, time to think  about everything. I walked in my room and saw the picture of me and my mom I smiled and went over to it ''I miss you'' I said I wiped my eyes and put the picture down I went in the bathroom and ran some water and washed my face I felt the need to throw up so I went to the toilet and threw up blood I took a breath cause I was now dry heaving I got up and went to my medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle I took two pills and closed the cabinet I jumped when I saw my mom I turned around and I couldn't believe it I started crying ''oh my baby is getting so big'' she said I was still in shock that I couldn't even say anything ''I miss you too, and Queen I want you to know that I'm always here even when you don't see me I'm here watching over you lay and your dad don't let this sickness stop you from living your life'' she said I shook my head yes and I had to throw up again so I went to the toilet and started throwing up blood it was getting hot and I hardly couldn't move then I felt like someone was shaking me so. I opened my eyes seeing my dad holding me in his arms shaking me and lay in the door way crying ''your ok thank god'' my dad said hugging me it was a dream the whole thing was a dream but it felt so real I got up and went over to lay ''I'm ok lay look at me I'm ok'' I told her she wrapped her arms around me and cried lay never seen me go through this I did my best to hide it from her she knew about it but never seen it I told her to go to her room and she did ''what happened''  I asked my dad ''right after you came in the bathroom I heard you throwing up then I heard a thump so I ran in and saw you laying on the floor blood was running out of your mouth and it was blood on the toilet so I went to you and pulled you in my arms and tried waking you up I thought you where gone then you kept whispering the words mom'' he said I blew out a breath and went to the next of him ''I'm ok dad'' I told him ''Queen you know these medication is not working so why keep taking them'' he asked me ''I at least want to believe that there doing something dad I'm not giving up and you shouldn't either'' I told him. I went to lay room and went in ''hey you up'' she didn't say anything so I went in and went to lay down with her she starting crying ''lay please don't cry'' I asked her ''well I'm sorry that I don't want to see my sister
On the floor laying there with blood in her mouth and being unresponsive'' she said crying I know this hard for her ''lay I'm not going anywhere I'm going to be here no matter what'' I told her ''are you going to be like mom'' she said ''no'' I told her she went to sleep this month was almost to an end and I my birthday was the first day of the month and the last thing I needed to worry about was making sure lay and my dad was ok and them not worrying about me.

''here she is'' Bianca said bringing my daughter from around her ''Draya this is your dad kentrel, kentrel this is Draya'' she said introducing us I was happy she look just like me she ran over to me and hugged me this feeling was great and for a quick minute I wanted to cry but I held it together  ''hi Draya sorry I wasn't here but I'm here now ok'' I told her she said ok and smiled ''ok Draya you can go back to your room'' she told her and she ran up to her room ''she's beautiful'' I told her ''yeah she looks just like you, I know that you have a girlfriend and if you don't want to be around because of it I'm not forcing you'' she told me ''no. I want to see my daughter Bianca I'm just meeting her and I want to be I her life'' I told her and she shook her head Bianca was a understanding person that's what I loved about her ''thank you Bianca'' I said ''for what'' she asked laughing ''for Draya'' I said she smiled the rest of the day I played with Draya and caught up with Bianca. I laid down watching Draya sleep she was in my lap sleep and I was happy she was so sweat and cute ''I'll get her so you can leave'' I shook my head ok and she got her and put her in her room I had got a text from Queen asking if I was ok I looked at it but never replied ''I guess we'll talk later on'' she asked me ''listen Bianca I don't have feelings for you like I did when we where a thing'' I told her she started laughing ''nigga I don't either I'm looking out for my daughter  she needs her dad in her life and that's all'' she said ''oh ok well my  number is still the same'' I told her before leaving, I was getting home and I was tired I walked in and put my keys down I went in my room where I saw queen sleep on my bed I smiled and took of my shirt and going over to her, I laid next to her and I guess she felt me get in cause she turned around and wrapped her arm around me I kissed her forehead and went to sleep. I woke up to a empty spot ''hey babe'' she said kissing me  ''hey what time is it'' I asked her ''time for school come on and get ready I'm goin to be in the car'' she said leaving damn it's that late I got up and got dressed. We where on the way to school when queen asked me something ''who was the girl that was coming out of your house yesterday'' she asked I knew she was going to bring this up when we made eye contact yesterday my heart went straight to my stomach ''she's my cousin she's visiting us'' I told her ''oh ok well tell her I said hello'' she said I must have been holding in my breath because when we came to school and she got out I let go of my breath I put my head on the steering wheel then I heard a knock on my window I looked up and saw Emory and Mark making faces at me I put my middle finger up and got out ''what's up with you'' Emory said ''nothing'' I said ''lie'' mark said I looked at him and hit him ''you know that queen birthday is next week'' mark said reminding me ''I know that mark I won't forget my own girlfriend birthday'' I told him he put his hands up ''I'm just telling you'' he said  then I seen Angela and Durian walking and talking all smiles ''hold on'' I told them I went  over to them and grabbed Durian ''what you doing'' he said getting a attitude ''tell me you and Angela are not going out'' I asked him he had this stupid grin on his face ''ok where not talking.... Yet'' I groaned ''you know she has a boyfriend'' I told him he still had that same stupid grin on his face ''not for long'' this nigga I said in my head ''listen I get it your looking out but I got this'' he said leaving, ugh this is going to be . I was in class when I received a text from the trap saying that they found the warehouse I looked up and saw Mark had saw it he looked at me and nodded at me and I nodded at him we texted back and told them to send us the address and at five o clock meet us there. I was talking to mark when I seen queen putting up posters for prom  I went up to her ''you need help'' I asked cause it look like she was struggling ''yeah can you put up this poster of us'' she said coming down ''just put it over there'' she said pointing to where it was ''right here'' I asked ''yeah that's good thank you'' she said ''it look good'' I told her standing next to her ''hey you coming to the meeting right'' she said I was so lost ''please tell me you didn't forget you know the meeting for the year book since where going to be In it the most'' she said ''yeah I knew that what time again'' I said with a big grin ''after school and it ends at eight on the dot don't be late'' she said kissing my cheek and leaving I was fucked I need to be there fro queen but I need to go to this warehouse I then saw Emilia and Emory walking so I ran to them ''hey my favorite brother and sister'' I said catching up to them ''nigga I'm your only sister'' Emilia said ''yeah and you know damn well I'm the favorite don't tell Durian though he get jealous'' Emory said ''what you want kentrel'' she asked ''so I can't go to the yearbook meeting with Queen tonight so I need y'all to go instead'' I told them they looked at me and laughed ''sorry but no'' they both said at the same time weird ''why not I help y'all all the time'' I said following them ''because stupid only people that's In the committee only go we can't go cause where not going in the committee'' Emilia said then I thought about who was in it so I went the guy that was in. ''please please please I begging you to push it back'' I begged and I don't ever beg ''why should I push it back because you say so'' he said ''please Curtis I can't make it to the meeting'' he turned around and picked up a notebook ''sorry can't help you'' he said ''how bout I  tell you a secret'' I told him he quickly turned around I knew that was going to get his attention but I had to push this date back so I told him ''I have a child'' he bust out laughing ''nigga no you don't'' he said laughing I pulled my phone out and showed a picture of me and Draya he looked at me and at the phone ''your fucking lying'' he said snatching the phone ''but you can't tell anyone'' he looked up at me ''does queen know'' I shook my head no ''well I'll help you I'll keep it between us until you tell her but I can't push back a date for you anymore whatever you have to do just do it come by tomorrow AFTER SCHOOL'' he said ripping off a piece of paper ''thank you I owe you one'' I told him ''just don't hurt Queen her birthday is coming up and we don't need nothing happening'' he said. I texted queen telling her that they moved back till tomorrow she texted back ok and I texted mark telling him that I'm on my way to the warehouse. I pulled up to the ware house I grabbed my gun and got out I saw mark and the men outside waiting I went up to them ''anyone in there'' I asked ''its like five in there armed'' mark told me ''have y'all guns ready when we go in shoot on sight'' I told them I put up three fingers counting down and when I put them down we bum rushed the room and shot it up I told mark to follow me and three other people we went to the back where I saw everything I told them to grab bags and put everything in I went and saw some money so I took that I heard no shooting so I checked to see If the coast was clear and It was everyone was dead ''OK EVERYONE GET IN THE CAR WE NEED TO GO'' I yelled throwing the bags in the car and getting in driving off I pulled the mask off and looked over at mark ''WE FUCKING DID IT NIGGA'' I said laughing ''HELL YEAH WE DID THAT SHIT'' Mark said bouncing up and down. We was at the trap when I received a text from Bianca telling me Draya wanted to see me I smiled and locked my phone getting ready to leave ''uh oh queen must want you'' Mark said ''ugh yeah text me if anything happen ight'' I said dapping him up and leaving, I arrived at Bianca place and texted her that I was outside minute later I heard Draya yell out for me ''DADDY'' she said running my way I smiled and picked her up kissing her ''how daddy baby been'' I asked her all she did was laugh ''hey'' Bianca said I nodded my head at her ''so here's her things'' she said bringing me her bag I took it and we left. I was now pulling up to the park when I seen some of the gang around there I sighed and took Dray out the car walking up to them ''what's good why y'all here'' I asked one of them looked around and handed me a paper I looked down and it said ''where coming for you'' I crumbled the paper and looked down at my daughter who wasn't even paying attention to what was going on I smiled at her and turned to them ''I want everybody to meet at the trap tonight'' I told them and they left I then felt Draya pulling on my pants and pointing to the swings I laughed and picked her up and went to swings. After playing with Draya almost all day I had received a text from Queen asking if I wanted to hang out I texted back yeah and that I would see her in a couples of minutes I grabbed Draya so I could take her home. I pulled up to Bianca's apartment and took out a sleeping Draya and carried her up ''she sleep''  Bianca asked while reaching for her I gave her to her ''yeah aye I'm gonna go I'm coming tomorrow if that's ok'' she said ok and I left to meet queen. ''hey babe'' queen said coming up to me and kissing me I pulled her in closer and started to tongue kiss her ''wassup'' I told her I grabbed her hand and started walking to the park ''so I what did you do all day'' she said ''you know hang out with the guys nothing new'' I told her for some reason I couldn't bring my self to tell queen that I had a child by someone I don't even really mess with anymore ''oh ok'' she said I didn't know I was holding my breath until I let it go.

TWO DAYS BEFORE QUEENS'S BIRTHDAY
''I can't believe that your turning 18 my baby is growing up so fast'' my dad told me I just laughed at him and went In the living room ''dad stop bein so dramatic that's me and lay job to be dramatic'' I told him laughing he waved me off and went to the kitchen I pulled out my phone to text Angela to see if she wanted to go out some where but before I could even send the text I received a text from Mariah saying if we could meet up I agreed and told her I would meet her in a hour I went to get ready and told my dad I was going out with some friends he said ok and told me to be safe I smiled and left. I was waiting at the park for Mariah to come and when I saw her I got up and hugged her ''hey stranger'' I said pulling back from the hug ''what's up haven't talk to you in a minute'' she said sitting down ''so what made you text me'' I asked her taking a sip out of my drink she started to fiddle with her fingers ''I don't think I can do this anymore'' she said in a low tone I was confused for a minute ''what do you mean'' I asked her ''I can't be with Praise anymore it's not the same'' she said looking down I sat back and looked at her I'm not gonna bash Mariah because when her and Angela broke up it was like things where different for everybody it was like when we all did hangout it felt like so much tension was there you can say Angela did move on but Mariah wasn't really over Ang and it was kind of sad ''Mariah so your telling me that your not feeling Praise anymore you just can't break up with her you know she loves you'' I told her leaning close to her ''yeah I know that but when I got with praise I did it to make Ang jealous'' I stopped her and looked at her crazy ''wait so your telling me you getting with praise was just a get back are you dumb you can't just hurt someone feelings you know what Mariah I'm so done with you have a good day'' I told her leaving I can't believe her your suppose to be our friend my friend and you do this I just don't get. I was sitting In my car when I received a text from Angela saying ''yeah why not let's hang out'' I forgot I had texted her this morning I was so lost in thought about what happened with Mariah I just wasn't in the right area I guess I started the car and decided to go to her house. I was thinking about what was I gonna do I felt like now I have to pick a side do I tell Ang about Mariah or do I not tell her I was feeling so overwhelmed that I started to cry so I called the one person that could help me ''hello'' he said in a sleepy voice ''babe'' I said crying I heard shuffling in the background telling me that he got up ''what's wrong'' he asked before I could reply he started to face time me I accepted it and  I saw him putting clothes on ''who I got to beat up'' he said so serious I laughed a little before wiping my face ''nobody but it's about Mariah and she put me in a tight situation I just don't know what to do'' I said crying again ''so what's going on'' he asked sitting down and propping up the phone so I told him everything ''damn'' he said rubbing his face ''like I'm not making it about me but I feel like if I don't tell Ang about this and she find out she's gonna feel like I chose Mariah over her but if I do tell her Mariah might feel like I chose Ang over her and I just don't what to do'' I told him he didn't say anything for a good three minutes ''I think you should tell her that's your friend we all grew up together yeah but Mariah know better she shouldn't have did that'' he said I bit my lip and thought about it Mariah is in the wrong and Ang is my friend and she need to know ''ok '' I told him '' where are you anyway'' he asked ''Ang house'' I said he laughed ''good luck'' he said before hanging up I took a deep breath and prepared to see where this was going to go. ''I thought you would have bailed on me'' Ang said laughing and sitting on her bed I laughed awkwardly and sat next to her I felt like I was sweeting bullets almost ''what's up with you why you so quite'' she asked so I decide it was time to tell her so I did. ''HAHAHA WAIT I CAN'T BREATH SHE WANT ME BACK'' Ang said laughing her ass off I was there wanting to cry about the situation when I finished telling her about Mariah and about the place I was put in ''girl lighten up it's Mariah where talking about and damn Queen your so innocent stop worrying about shit like this'' she said coming over to me and wiping the tear from my eye ''Queen you my best friend I would never leave your side you know that right even if wasn't on my side I would still be there for you and I know you would be by my side'' he said I smiled and felt a heavy felling lift from my chest ''oh me and Aaron are over he's nothing but a liar'' she said we both looked at each other and we laughed about it ''plus I'm kind of crushing on someone right now'' she said I smiled and thought wow I have a fantastic friend the rest of the day and I ended up falling sleep there. I woke up and saw that It was around 10 I texted my dad and told him I fell asleep at Ang house and that I was on my way back I got up and grabbed my stuff and left, I was driving when I saw Durian walking I was confused to why he was walking this late at night so I pulled up to him and rolled my window down ''aye why you out here at 10''  I asked him concerned he looked up and looked me straight in the eyes ''don't you see I'm walking'' he said looking back straight ''well I can give you a lift if you want'' I told him he didn't say anything so I stopped the car and got out and ran up to him ''wait what's wrong'' I asked him almost out of breath like damn for someone to be head of the cheerleaders this is terrible he laughed and looked at me ''what the hell is wrong with you I was fine I was just walking home that's all'' he said I wanted to drop to the floor I ran to him for no reason ''but since your out here why are you out late'' he asked still walking ''oh I was with Angela all day'' I said ''oh yeah'' he said it was silent until he broke the silence ''so I heard your birthday is in one day'' he said giving me a small smile ''yup, Kentrel talked me into doing a block party'' I told him ''that should be raw a block party everyone and they grandma's gonna be there I bet'' he said trying to be funny ''well not really friends family and who ever wanna come'' I said he gave me a look to say ''that's what I said everybody and they mama'' we laughed and kept walking ''so I want to make Emilia captain of the cheer team'' I said Emilia is great when it comes to cheer so I decided when we leave Emilia would be captain ''she really do love cheer anything with dance really'' he told me ''Kentrel wants to make Emory captain of the basketball team looks like the twins would have a great time after we leave I say'' he said I didn't know kentrel was going to do that I mean Emory have talent and so does Emilia it would be like were leaving them the biggest titles of the school that comes with king and queen titles best this and that titles who know they might be like us I think that's cool if you ask me ''yeah but I wanna get back to my car we have school tomorrow and I would love to be up early you know'' I told him laughing a little he agreed and we left.