You Make Me Come Alive!

1. Dr. Zoya Raichand

Zoya's POV

Things change with time. And people leave. No matter how much important they were, still are and will remain. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. Even if you want it to.

LIFE – a four-letter word that is complicated enough that no one will ever decode its true meaning.
Everyone have their own definitions for this intricate word.
For me, life is family, friends and love. Be jovial and spread happiness, help others. But how can you be happy, when you are constantly living in guilt?

My wrist watch was mocking me by showing sharp eight o'clock. Same time, eight o'clock, three years back, I received that call which sucked the life out of me. From then on, I am doing everything except living. And the irony is, I know that. That I was not at fault, it was destiny. Still I am not able to come out of it.

Masi and Noor must have been getting worried for me. As a reminder of it, my mobile rang from Noor's call.

“Di where....”
“I will come soon Noor. Don't wait for me.” I hung up the call.

Not that I always show this cold behaviour towards her or anyone but today, I can't help it. I just want to be alone. They both would have understood me. I kept my phone on silent mode.

I stood near shore, gazing moon and stars. Today is full moon. They say, when your loved ones die they become stars. Is it true? Is that most shinning star which is in left to moon, is it my loved one?
Waves came, touched my feet, wetting them and went back. As if teasing me. Asking me to catch them. But can we catch water? It slips faster than sand and time faster than water.

Sometimes I think, why I chose psychiatry. Though I am psychiatrist, I can't set my mind. Such a failure. Especially today.

I wish, I wouldn't have avoided Aarohi. She still calls me four times a week. For what? Just to hear my monosyllabic replies. And now when I realised that I avoided her without any reason, I am not able to talk to her. She is still holding our friendship tight. Why am I not?

Don't know when a tear trickled down and what followed was a unstoppable rain. Why am I like this?

I checked time. It's half past nine. Shit! I should return now. Enough your self time Zoya. Noor needs you the most now!

I checked my mobile and it showed twenty missed calls from Noor. Is she alright? Why she didn't messaged me? Ahh this girl!
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I entered the gates of ‘Raichand Villa’.
The house which papa built with his sweat and blood and the home which my mumma built with her love and devotion.

I parked my white coloured Maruti Ritz and saw a SUV parked. I asked watchman through my eyes and he bowed his head down.
‘They still didn't left!’ I sighed.

I entered and saw four figures standing in middle of the hall. Two for whom I live and one from whom I want riddance.

“Noor, why don't you sign the papers?”
“Please uncle, I will not sign without di's permission. Don't pressurize me.” Noor said, tiredly.
Ofcourse, she is tired of his drama. So am I.
Today I will end this topic. For once and for all.

I started clapping slowly in a mocking way. This grabbed everyone's attention. I walked in slowly continuing the clap.
“Wow! Such a great younger brother my father have! Wow!” I stopped clapping.

Masi silently asked me not to make this a big issue through her eyes. I would have stopped, but not today. He didn't even thought about what today is.
“Have some shame uncle, atleast today.” Masi sat  down on the sofa slowly.
“Today is the day when your elder brother and sister-in-law died in an accident. Today is their third death anniversary. Are you not feeling ashamed of your behaviour?” Aunty hung her head low.
She too is fed up of her husband's behaviour. Today I will set his mind right!

“From last three years you are asking us to handover Papa's business to you. You know it is for Noor. Still you are pressuring her to sign them.” I walked ahead and stood in front of him. My eyes were red due to crying and anger.
“Till Noor completes her studies, Business is under me. And I am not handing over it to you. For the last time I am saying, don't you dare bother us about it again. I won't think twice before breaking the ties after this.” I said, looking directly into his eyes.

Don't know from where I get this much courage. Uncle left without saying a single word. I don't know, I have to be afraid about it or not. Aunty came and held my palms in hers.
“I am sorry Zoya. Very sorry.” She said with soft, love filled eyes.
“Very sorry Noor.” She glanced at Noor who was standing near the sofa.
“Zoya... I don't know how he became like this. He was not like this. Maybe, it's his success speaking, not him. Please don't cut ties. I love you both like my own daughters. I am really sorry on his behalf.” I shook my head, indicating her to stop saying sorry again and again. What is her fault in this.
“Today is their third death anniversary. I still don't believe it's been three years. It seems like yesterday me and your mom were gossiping about our favourite show and now....!” Car horn disturbed aunty from continuing. What has gotten into this man's head?
“May god bless you both!” She said, glancing at Noor and me. She caressed my hair, kissed my forehead and finally left. 
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“Di, are you alright?” Noor circled my shoulder and neck and kept her chin on my shoulder.
“Absolutely!” I turned and continued, “You had dinner?”
“Yes, I had, but Masi didn't.” I glanced at her and shook my head in disbelief. Noor continued, “You go and wash your face I will wake Masi up and serve you both.” She said and I smiled.
We both glanced at Masi and she was already snoring, laying on the sofa. We both chuckled.
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I had dinner with Masi as she waited for me. What shall I do with this lady?
“You should have your dinner on time.” I said.
“Same applies to you Zoya!”
“You are in old age!”
“You handle more stress and problems than me!”
“Why don't you listen to me?” I said, frustrated.
“Zoya, listen to me. This is Noor's final year. From next year she will take over the business and you will be stress free. I want you to start thinking about marriage.” She said.
“Masi....I...”
“I am proud of you Zoya. The way you handled everything from last three years is appreciable. As you said I am in old age. I want you to get married now. Then Noor. Are you understanding what I am saying?”
“I am done Masi. Goodnight!” I said and stood up.
I don't want this discussion now.
She held my wrist and said, “ Till when you will held yourself guilty? It was not your fault.”
“I am tired Masi. We will talk tomorrow morning.” I said and left for my room. I can't face her now. She is right. But I am not able to set my mind right.

I entered my room and sat on the bed. Holding the photo frame of my parents I asked, “Did I do anything wrong papa?”
Tears slipped from my eyes and I held the frame close to my chest.

Miss you mumma, papa! Miss you a lot!
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