I lost control. I lost control of everything I feel, I do.
This is not good. This is even dangerous.
I have to do something.
Birds singing, waves, soft wind, hot sand, burning sun..
Take
The
Control
Ethan
Take
Control
***
" I thought it was bullshit. "
I hear him as I feel the same hotness again. I can't even think anymore. This is literally insane. It is also crazy that I am already used to this.
"What?"
I ask, opening my eyes fully.
"You fell asleep again all of a sudden."
I hear popping and gulping.
Deja Vu.
"Want some Sprite?"
I look at him.
The weather is beautiful again. Everything is peaceful. Ocean is pretty. Everything is pretty.
I find myself wondering again.
He is all my answers.
And all my questions.
"No thanks," I reply, simply. My stomach hurts.
He did not make any comment about this situation. He looks relaxed. He is not sad, angry..
"You still have nothing to tell me."
I look up to the sky. I love summer. I love being here with him. My longing is not killing me anymore. He is here.
He is here.
I don't have to miss him anymore.
"..I asked you a question too."
I shiver again, remembering the last thing he told me before I wake up.
Do you love me? Tell another lie..
My heart beats in that way again. I lose the control all over again.
I really get pissed.
I feel ready whenever I sleep, but when I come here.. Every plan I make, fails.
"I.. I don't know what to say Grayson. I just don't remember the reason you ask me these kind of questions.."
He gives me one of his naughty smile again. I don't react to him, looking down.
"Don't you remember?.."
He asks me again. I sigh. I don't. I don't remember.
"I am dying to remember."
My body is literally burning. Sun is burning me more than the other times in here.
Grayson rubs his eyes, staring at the ocean.
"You will remember one day."
What?
"What? Do you know what is happening?"
He chuckles, laying down on the sand.
"I don't know. But.. You will remember one day, if you love me.."
If I love him?
But I already love my brother.. What does that mean?
"Grayson, I already love you."
Waves get harder all of a sudden, as the wind hits me harshly again.
I quickly look up to the sky, wondering if he got angry again.
But I don't see any clouds or any evidence of a storm.
He is not angry. He is not sad too.
"You excited me."
I frown my brows, slightly smiling.
His relaxed face, under the beautiful sky, makes me wonder, and makes me lose my control again. All this magical things, and the way his confident moves are taking my mind go crazy.
"You 'love' love me?"
He asks me again.
And then it hits me.
"You got me frozen
Colder than ice
Do you love me?
Tell another lie"
He..
He loves me..
I flinch, as the missing part of my mind finds a new answer.
I remember the memory of him, telling me something..
"Grayson"
He smiles, opening his eyes. He is staring right into my soul.
I feel like he has never been alive before. Our eyes don't stop looking at each other. My breathe hitches.
I finally remember something.
"Don't you remember now?" He asks me.
The waves go crazy. I forget every word I know once again. My thoughts, every control I have.. fades away.
Butterflies start to fly around.
There is not just one now.
There are thousands of butterflies, in so many colors.
This is amazing.
Grayson doesn't move as they literally fill the whole sky.
My jaw drops.
The view of the thousands of butterflies, flying around, giving color to every single thing..
Grayson looks up to them, smiling widely with his bright teeth in joy.
I watch him, in pure happiness.
He looks so alive that I almost think I am the dead one.
The way he shines as the butterflies touch him in such delicate way..
This is beautiful.
Grayson has never looked this comfortable and happy.
He belongs here, everything is taking care of him.
"Gray.. this is perfect.."
I tell him, still amazed by everything that is happening.
It is like every color came to life..
Flowers bloom with no regret..
Just one more look at him,
And I really am hypnotized.
