I stand still as he slowly strokes my cheek. I am not able to move in any way.
I don't know.. I just do not know what to do.
He is touching me so sweet that I feel all the affection he is giving me.
"What do you mean by saying I am not someone you can hold?"
He asks me. His voice is raspy, I can clearly feel his heat through his hand. His fingers are touching me tactfully.
"I.. I don't know.. It just doesn't feel right.."
He smiles and instead of maybe stop touching me, he touches my other cheek.
My face is cupped with his hands, and I am boiling.
"I am giving you all I got, stop playing with my heart..."
It seems so wrong, I hesitate to give him what he clearly wants from me.
He wants to kiss me.
He wants to touch me.
"Grayson.."
I mumble. Butterflies don't stop flying around and I try to picture in my head how we look from the outside.
"Ethan.. Why can't you let me kiss you?"
I shiver, staring in his eyes.
They look so bright. So bright.. Like supernovas in the sky..
"..Why.."
I ask. I just can't figure it out. I don't understand. Why would he love me?
Did I do something to make him feel love? Not brotherly, but in that kind of love.
He chuckles, closing the distance between us once again. I can't find any strength to move away this time.
His chest touches mine again.
"Please don't ask me why,"
I tremble.
"Just kiss me this time.."
I remember.
I remember now.
He told me this.
He told me the same sentence. Years, years ago.
He wanted to kiss me before.
He always wanted to kiss me.
I remember.
I gulp as the memory finally comes to my mind. It is been so long. I finally remember it. The way he wanted to kiss me, touch me and do so many things with me.
"Grayson.. I remember!"
I yell in happiness and excitement.
He stares at me, confused.
"Do you want to punch me again?"
He asks me.
I remember. And my heart aches all over again. It will always hurt me from now on.
I punched him.
I rejected him and called him so many bad things when he wanted to kiss me. I hit him. I hurt him. I made him sad. And I made him feel so bad about himself.
I hold my tears, biting my lower lip.
Butterflies get closer to me. I hear the sound they make with their wings.
Waves go hard, sun goes hotter and the whole sky with butterflies shines so bright that Grayson's face gestures lightens.
Supernovas in his eyes make me stutter, and I get lost in words.
"I hurt you" is all I can say.
I should have been nice to him. No matter what he wanted from me, no matter how weird it was for me. I shouldn't have punched him.
The memory of him, looking at me from the ground, in shocked and tears comes to my mind. And I want to kill myself for hurting someone like him.
"It is okay now."
He tells me, smiling widely, staring into my eyes with fireworks in them.
He looks happy.
Why he looks so happy?
Does he remember now too?
Does he remember killing himself now?
"Please forgive me Grayson."
The strawberry gum smell in his mouth, hits me as he sighs again. Being this close to him, doesn't bother me.
I used to stay away from him after he tried to kiss me.
That was our biggest fight. That was the reason why we went to holidays separately for a really long time.
I went to Miami , he went to Abu Dhabi.
And we are here now. Abu Dhabi.
There must be a reason why I am here.
"How could I ever not forgive you?"
He asks me, caressing my cheeks with his hands.
I dare myself to hold his hand that stands on my cheek for a while now.
As soon as our skins touch, I stroke his scarred skin.
I lose my senses and he flinches with my touch.
He looks at my hand as I keep stroking the scars.
"Don't hurt yourself again, even in my dreams."
I whisper.
I can't change anything I have done to him when he was alive, when he was really with me. But maybe I can correct my mistakes even if it is too late to do so.
I can let him know that I am sorry.
And that I regret everything I have done to him, even though I can't love him the way he loves me.
He slowly moves away from me, I don't let go of his hand.
"You-You are holding my .. hand .."
He tells me as the wind caresses him so gentle.
I smile.
Waves go hard, butterflies fly high, birds sing along as he stares at our connected hands.
My time is near, I am going to wake up soon.
I look at him once more.
"I am going to wake up."
I tell him, still smiling with the sight of him. Pure happiness. He looks happy, and nature surround him gently once again because of the way he feels.
"Ethan.."
He tells me, squeezing my hand.
I look down to our hands.
Sparkles fly around us, magically.
My vision starts to get blurry, but I see it.
The scars on his hand, are gone.
They are gone.
Excitement, thrill and every emotion I have bursts out of my heart.
Everything goes silent, but I hear him for the last time.
"You healed my scars."
