He stares at me, deeply. With all his heart. I feel it, I know it.
It feels so unreal.
Hearing all these awful things coming out from his mouth. I want to remember everything. I want to know why I am not remembering any of this.
"You.." he says, getting away from my face slowly. "..You.. You don't even remember.."
His disappointed face makes me suffer even more.
I am dying to remember.
"Grayson"
I say, trying to prepare myself to finally tell what is actually happening. He is not aware of anything. He does not care about the rope mark on his neck. He is not aware of he is dead.
And I don't know if I should do it in some way or not.
"Ethan.."
He cuts me off.
But I won't let him talk.
"Wait no listen to me. I have to tell you something that might sound crazy for you. But believe me it is crazier for me. I do not even know how to explain you this."
"Don't tell me you want to leave"
"No.. it is not something like that.. I have to find the right words to explain what is happening. And I don't even know what is real or what is fake anymore. Things got really complicated and I don't know how to end it. I had only one purpose. And I made something crazy to make it happen. And now I keep drifting into this place."
I think I have way more time since I took sleeping pills.
I have to stay here longer.
"Are you fricking rejecting me again? Why are you here then? Fuck off"
What the fuck..
"Gray are you fucking serious right now? Can't you listen to me before making me feel god damn bad?"
What happened all of a sudden?
He sighs, taking the Sprite bottle and taking a big sip from it.
"Ethan you just don't understand that I can't control my feelings and.. Believe me if there could be a way to do that, I would do anything to change it but I am sorry I just can't.."
Please.
Please let me remember.
Please.
"Grayson.. Give me a chance to explain myself. Okay? I am not leaving, I am not rejecting. I am just asking you for to stop and listen to me."
He fixes his hair as the wind hits him.
I realize something. Again.
The weather starts to change when Grayson's mood changes..
I look up to the sky. Sun is still there but has a bunch of clouds around it now.
I turn back to him. My heart aches. He feels sad.
"Listen, Gray. Please don't panic. Okay?"
He stares at me confused, holding the Sprite bottle in his hand.
"Okay."
I sigh, trying to get comfortable in my seat. Sand is quite cold since we are sitting down under a tree.
"So. I don't know how to say it without making you feel weird and scared. But basically.. I mean.. You are dead.."
I start to panic even though I told Grayson not to panic a minute ago.
Waves get harder all of a sudden, the wind hits me so hard that my body moves a little.
I start to look around me. Sun starts to fade slowly, which is making me scared because it was literally so hot a few minutes ago.
"What?!"
He yells along with the hard ocean waves. I tremble as a few rain drops hit on the ground.
"Grayson.. It is okay just calm down.."
"What the fuck are you telling me Ethan?"
So I was right. He doesn't know.
He doesn't know.
He
Does
Not
Know..
"I told you it was fucking weird okay? I am telling you to calm down so we can actually talk about this.."
He suddenly stands up.
A lightning strikes as he looks at me in the eyes. I see lightnings in his eyes. His huge body under the grey sky just takes me to a whole different world. It is like a fairytale.
"Ethan.. What do you mean?! What.."
"Grayson calm the fuck down!"
"NO.. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME ETHAN? I.. I DON'T-"
The biggest lightning I have seen in my whole entire world, strikes to the ocean, and an explosion sound fills my ears.
I am panicking.
He is sad.
He is angry.
Grayson.
"GRAYSON STOP"
He starts to punch the tree.
At this point, my mind is telling me nothing. The violent behaviour he is showing right now is unbelievable. I have never seen him like this before. I have never seen anything like this. The way waves go hard, the way rain drops hit on the sand harshly..
This is insane. This is insane.
Calm down, Grayson.
Please.
"GRAYSON FUCKING STOP!"
I don't stand up. It is like I lost my abilities. All I can do is yelling him to stop. He is not calming down.
Why did he got angry all of a sudden?
He starts to scream as he punches the tree harder.
He is going crazy.
I should not have told him that.
"GRAYSON YOU ARE GONNA HURT YOURSELF PLEASE CALM DOWN I AM BEGGING YOU!"
I try to stand up. My whole body got weaker. I can't move. It hurts my bones to see him like that. My mind goes crazy. The sounds of the thunder shatters through his screams. This is a nightmare.
I start to lose everything as I see the blood, dripping from his hand.
"GRAYSON STOP PUNCHING"
His flawless face is now messed up with the tears, he is screaming so hard that I can see his veins. He is soaked with the rain. This hurts me. This hurts me so much.
I have to do something.
The ache in my heart gets deeper, and I find myself lost in the screams.
"Ethan.."
Gray?
"Ethan.."
I lose my voice.
I lose his sight.
The violent sounds start to fade.
"Ethan.."
His screams start to fade away along with everything around me.
No. Not now.
No.
"GRAYSON NO"
"Ethan..
Wake up, Ethan.."
