him || grethan

(final chapter)

2 years later 

09:22 p.m

Saturday night, Abu Dhabi

***

"So everything is fine, right? Mia is really mad at you. You never respond to her texts."

My mom says. I giggle, laying down on the sand.

This place is even more amazing when it is night.

"I will call her as soon as possible. I just have some stuff to do."

She sighs, through the phone.

"Okay, I love you Ethan, see you later."

"Bye mom."

I hang up the phone and put it in my pocket.

I take a deep breathe.

I can hear people walking around while talking. But it is okay I guess. This is a crowded city, of course there will be people walking on the seaside. 

I look up to the moon as the stars keep winking at me.

I force a smile, taking a sip from my Sprite.

I am laying down on the sand, in Abu Dhabi.

The same beach I saw him.

Everything is different in real life.

There are people and too many lounge chairs. 

I try not to shed a single tear, as I remember the hymn I heard after he faded away.

It is been 2 years since I let go of him for the second time.

I kissed him, gave him what he wanted.

I remember opening my eyes in hospital, because I took way more sleeping pills.

Mia always made sure I wasn't taking them anymore.

It was dangerous. I am happy to be alive.

I think of him most of the times. 

I wonder what is he doing. 

I wonder when our time will come.

And I try to forgive him for killing himself. 

And I try to forgive myself because I never had to chance to say I am sorry, even though it was my purpose.

He gave me faith.

He gave me life, by killing himself.

I feel like I am holding his pieces in me, sometimes I feel like I am glowing.

Even though it hurts me, I try to keep myself from doing crazy stuff.

He wanted me to live.

And I will do what he wants me to do this time.

I sigh as I chew strawberry gum and drinking Sprite at the same time.

"Disgusting, how did he do that?"

I say to myself, giggling.

I miss him, really.

And I hope he sees that, somehow.

1 text message, From: Leo 

Yo, where are you? We are still in the hotel room. Let's go have some fun!

I read the notification.

To: Leo

K, I am on my way 

I stand up from the ground, cleaning the sand on my butt.

Deja Vu..

I glance at the sky and the moon for the las time.

I hope he is happy.

I hope I can make him happy.

I hope I can fall in love with him one day.

I start to walk.

I take another sip from my Sprite, feeling the nice breeze of the summer.

I take another step, but feel something weird.

I hear the waves go harder all of a sudden.

I look around me.

What the fuck?

People stare at me.

Deja Vu..

I see sparkles around me, and fireflies surround me.

Everyone gasps as they light up the whole beach.

I look around, amazed.

"Wow! That's beautiful!"

Someone says, nearly yelling.

A blue butterfly flies along with the sparkles and fireflies, and lands on my nose tactfully.

Everyone starts to take pictures of the beautiful lights of them.

I smile.

He is in every color I see, and every wind I feel.

And I am pretty sure, some part of him is here with me.

I keep on walking as the fireflies follow me. 

I start to imagine him and I, under a beautiful sunset.

I don't know when, but some day we will reunite.

Maybe I can fall in love with him some day, somehow, on the other side.

And until then, 

Goodbye Grayson.

I will see you soon buddy. 

the end