XoFrnk||Frerard AU

Did You Come To Stare Or Wash Away The Blood?

T.W. severe self harm

Gerard's P.O.V

"F-Frank?" I choked out, feeling my life burning around me. How could he do this? How long had this been going on?

I saw Billie pull away with a smirk and peck Frank on the cheek, who was staring at me with wide eyes like a deer in the headlights.

"This was fun Frankie, we should do I again sometime," he smirked, before winking at him and cockilly making his way towards me.

"Hey Gerard, how's your brother doing?" He laughed. My eyes filled with tears at the mention of Mikey and I had to choke back a sob.

"For fucks sake Billie will you fuck off, have you not ruined my life enough? Was fucking me up not enough for you and now you're going after Gerard?" He screamed at him.

"As you wish darling, but I hope he knows what happened."
Billie walked off, turning his back on us and not turning back.

"What does he mean 'I hope he knows what happened', what's going on?" I asked as calmly as possible. I knew that getting angry would help nothing, but inside all I wanted to do was slap Frank, and then go after Billie and push him off a cliff.

Frank opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Then he ran; I had no idea where but he ran. He just left.

He left.

How could he do this to me?
He cheated on me, told Billie that my brother was in hospital, and then left with no explanation, not even trying to tell me what happened.

I couldn't cope. I had nothing in my life now.

Nothing to live for.

I felt the tears in my eyes fill up and spill over. I just let them- I didn't care anymore.

I ran home as fast as I could, not caring about the people I ran into or who saw me. Why would I care? The only people in my life have gone. I had nothing to live for.

Before I knew it, I found myself outside of my house, snapping me out of my thoughts and slammed the door open, not bothering to close it behind me.

I made my way to the bathroom, avoiding as many alcohol bottles as I could. I had thrown out all of my blades except for one razor which I used to shave my face. Rummaging through my cupboards in a frantic search for it, I found 2 bottles of pills that I had for my anxiety and depression.

I found the razor and took it apart, removing the blade from inside. There were cuts on my hands from retrieving the blade and I realised how much I had missed the pain.

I opened a bottle of pills and poured them into my shaking hand, some falling off the sides, before tipping them all into my mouth and swallowing them. This must have been how Mikey felt before he did the same thing.

I grabbed the blade once more and held it up to my wrist, my hand shaking  so much that I could barely hold it.

I pressed it firmly against my wrist before dragging it across, leaving a deep, burning cut that was bleeding heavily.

I went to do another until I heard the phone ring from th living room. I considered answering for a second, but decided against it. I didn't care.

I pressed the blade to my arm again, creating another deep cut.

And another.

And another.

I did it again and again and again until I became too dizzy to stand. My vision was blurred with tears and blood loss. Despite all of this, I was insanely numb. I felt nothing.

As my world begin to fade, I saw a figure running towards me.

That was the last sight I ever saw before everything went black.