SWEET REVENGE ||Completed||

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE: Forgiveness ☘🌿

Have you ever bear a grudge against someone? Tell me how it felt. Did you feel like your heart was heavy and you were carrying some sort of load? Whenever you see or hear anything about the person does your heart beat in a kinda  weird way and you suddenly feel sad or angry within? Lastly did you have peace of mind, deep down were you feeling happy?

I want to know if it was a normal feeling cos that was how I felt then. For days after my last encounter with Shola  I locked myself up in my room sobbing.  The tears wouldn't stop, it was like all the tears I hadn't shed for years decided it was time to burst out and be free. I didn't speak to anyone and I didn't let them into my room. I knew I was been selfish and irrational but I just wanted to be alone for a while.  I blocked everyone out for those days.

The only time I opened my door was to pick up my food that they would always  keep by the door. And yes I was eating. I said I wanted to be alone I didn't say I was on a suicide mission. The first night   right after our argument I ran inside weeping like a baby. Mike, my grandma were by my side trying to calm me down but there was no stopping the tears. It kept on pouring like a waterfall and I was literally crying a river. Victoria was asked to stay with my kids cos they didn't want them to see me like that. After awhile the tears stopped and I was just sniffing. Grandma and Mike begged me to try to forgive Shola for his outburst saying he was just acting on his anger. I didn't say anything regarding that I just told them I wanted to be alone for awhile,they agreed and left my room. Right after that I locked myself in and sent anyone who wants to see me away. I didn't eat that night.

The second day was no different I cried for hours. I refused to let anyone in and didn't eat. Mike would come countless times to speak to me through the door but I wouldn't answer. They kept my kids away hoping I would come around.

On the third day I was already starving. Mike decided it was time to call Auntie B,who wasted no time coming over with the twins. They all tried but I still didn't open the door. When they offered to keep food by the door so I could pick when they were gone I didn't object cos my worms were already eating my intestines.  It continued like that for the fourth and fifth day. I had by then formed a routine. I would cry for hours, eat a little, cry again, be in deep thoughts then sleep. Me picking my food was a good sign that I was still alive. Mike would come everyday and speak through my door telling about work and my kids, not that I would reply. 

My kids  they told them I was ill and what I had was contagious so they couldn't see me yet. I knew it was bad for me as a mother to neglect my kids but I knew they had Mike and everyone else taking care of them. Not that I forgot about my grandma,  I knew she would want to go back to her husband but I was too weak at that point and I knew Mike took her to him and had them both move to my house. I trusted Mike to make good decisions for me.

The sixth day was when things changed  abit. Apparently they thought it would be a nice idea to use my kids to get me to come out. I was laying on my bed sulking as usual, that feeling of emptiness. I felt numb. Mide and Dara tried making open the door but it didn't work. Then they finally told my kids that I locked myself in and won't open up. Lekan and Nikki being the smart kids that they were already suspected something was wrong. They stood in front of my room knocking on the door hoping I would open it but I didn't. Not that I didn't want to but I just couldn't. You know that feeling of weakness where you can't even close your eyes to sleep. I was drained already. I had no more tears to shed.

"Mum! ....Mum" Nikki voice didn't sound as bright as it usually would.

"Mum please open the door " Lekan knocked hard. They kept on knocking for more than twenty minutes.

"Tiwa please open the door. If you won't do it for the rest of us please think of your kids. They miss you, they need their mother." Still no response from me. Few minutes later when I thought they had left. I started hearing Lekan and Nikki crying. At first it  was low sob then it became louder. My heart beat faster just the way it would whenever I thought they were in danger or were hurt. That was the first emotion I had felt since my cry had stop.