Soulmate AUs (Twice) ✔️

Guardian Angel (SA)

Tigger Warning: Talks of suicide, depression, etc,.
Sana x Fem Reader

Y/n POV

I'm slowly drifting away from everything and everyone.

I hate that humans are able to feel emotions.

My emotions have been spiraling out of control lately. Whenever I'm with friends, I feel great yet somewhat conscious of myself. I always try to hide what I truly feel from everyone.

I think that's why I have this inner turmoil inside of me. I keep everything hidden all the time which will probably cause me to explode later. I just don't want anyone to worry about me.

They have their own lives to worry about, I would hate to add to their stress.

The sad part about all of this is I have everything I really need. I have friends who love me. I have a family who love me. I have food on my table. I have a roof over my head.

So why is it that I feel this way?

Could it be the repressed memories I've buried in the back of my head?

The fact that my dad raped me and I didn't say anything about it because he's the one that pays for everything?

Or maybe because my parents are homophobic and I have yet to come out to them?

How about when Sana rejected my feelings when I asked her out?

Or just the fact that I know that I won't amount to anything after I graduate highschool?

I'll be one of those homeless people you see on the street begging for money. If I ever live long enough.

Yeah, life is a pain. I've been so screwed up emotionally/mentally that I honestly don't care anymore. My grades are slipping and my parents are becoming disappointed in me.

Grades? Yeah, I hate those too.

I just absolutely hate the fact that grades basically define who you are as a person. Grades shouldn't define anyone. If anything, it puts more stress on students because everything is basically a competition.

"Y/n!" My mom's shout rang throughout the house, "You're going to be late to school! Stop sleeping!"

Stop? I haven't even started.

I put on some sweatpants, a huge jacket, brushed my teeth and left for school. I mumbled a 'goodbye' and 'love you' to my mom as I closed the front door.

I love walking to school.

It really gave me time to think about everything and nothing.

Like...the homework that I totally forgot was due today! Crap! Oh well. Homework only counts for 10% of the grade anyway. I'll manage.

Sometimes I wonder if being stuck in my own world is bad at times. I mean I look like a crazy person as I'm mumbling to myself. Around this time, I should hear the sound of rushed footsteps and a squirrel would be running after me.

Except she isn't. Because I ruined our friendship by exposing my feelings for her. I knew I shouldn't have said anything to her.

What I can't get out of my head was the look in her eyes as she rejected me. She had this longing look like she's always wanted me to confess my feelings. If that was the case, why did she reject me?

I mean I'm average looking, my grades are adequate, and I do happen to come from a rich family. It's probably my personality. I should focus on being more nice or something like that.