Forever and Always

Chapter 25: Her Revolution Begins

        When Eponine was little, her mother taught her never to cry. Crying, according to Madame Thenardier, was for the weak. This was one of the few teachings of her parents that Eponine had taken to heart. She had always tried to adhere to this rule, and, as a result, she had only shed a few tears her entire life. Now, however, Eponine was sobbing hysterically. Tears poured down her face as she ran down the streets of Paris, dodging passers-by. She felt completely hopeless. She had nowhere to go, no home, no friends, nothing. Gingerly, she touched her right cheek where Marius had struck her. It did not hurt much. She had suffered through much more terrible beatings in her past. It was less the strike and more the fact that Marius had been the one who struck her that truly hurt her. She had loved him, trusted him, and stayed by his side, and in return he had hit her! Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Marius' words played over and over again in her mind. Cosette is a better woman than you will ever be. Was that truly what he thought of her? Those words stung even more than the blow to her face.

        Eponine silently cursed herself. She had actually deluded herself for a moment when Marius was talking to her. For a second, she had been sure she had seen a look of jealousy in his eyes. "Then what do I deserve? Whom do I deserve?" she had asked him. For a wild moment, she had hoped he would say she deserved him, Marius. But no, as usual, Marius thought only of his perfect, darling Cosette.

        Eponine knew the things she had said about Cosette were completely unfair. Cosette truly was a good person, and if she made Marius happy, then so be it. Marius' happiness was more important to Eponine than anything. She only wished that once in a while Marius would open his eyes and see how much Eponine did for him.

        Then, Eponine thought of Enjolras. She remembered how he had looked at her with such love and passion. Eponine just did not love him back. She couldn't. Her heart belonged to Marius, even if he did break it into a million pieces. But then again, that kiss kept playing over and over again in her head. It felt so good, so wonderful, to be loved. Perhaps she could learn to love the Marble Man. She certainly cared for him, and he was very charming.

        Finally, Eponine reached her destination. She stared an the front door of the Thenardier household. Coming back here was a terrifying prospect, but Eponine had to do what she had to do. She wiped the tears from her eyes and tentatively pushed the door open. Thankfully, the house was empty. Eponine stepped inside. Tomorrow, the barricades would arise and the revolution would begin. All the people she cared about would be fighting, and Eponine wanted to be their to fight with them. Marius would be there, risking his life. Eponine had to protect him. Even though he had hurt her more than words could express, Eponine still loved him, and she could not let him die. Little Gavroche would be fighting too. As his older sister, she was responsible for protecting him. And Enjolras... She had to be there for him. She had to understand what it was she felt for him. She still was not sure if she loved him, but she did care for him. She could not let him die.

        Eponine dug through her father's closet until she found a pair of trousers, a ragged white shirt, and a trench coat. She stripped off the now worn-out purple dress that Marius had given her so long ago and tore the fabric into long strips that she wrapped tightly around her chest. She threw on her father's clothes. They hung loosely around her tiny frame. The trousers were so big that she needed a belt to keep them on. She pulled her dark hair back into a messy bun and pulled her brown cap over it. She stood up and glanced at her reflection in the cracked mirror that hung on the wall. Her eyes widened in shock. She was almost unrecognizable. She could easily pass for a young boy.

        "My revolution has begun," she whispered, and left the house.