Humin

Chapter X: Churched

It's the third day since this town had the luck of hosting me. I woke up on the roof with the glimpse of the seven suns of the morning. This breathtaking moment lasts one hour only but you can't see It in the smog of the downer levels. My servant Waste fetched me my early shot of whisky and a newspaper. I discard the useless nonsense in the toilet when I go and this happens usually in the morning after I have my shot. Around me are on water blankets seventeen hookers that Burn Ass brought yesterday from a castle. She delayed obviously ten hour to fuck with everything that moved in that castle and she chose the biggest one. She was carried on the stretcher by the hookers after the whole army stretched her.

-Wake up sperm face!

-Wow! What a night! I dreamed that I was in war as a solder and I held back a whole army by my own.

-You can say that! You had an entire battalion busy. You were in coma since yesterday.

-A! I remember now! Gosh! I've screwed tens of thousands. Most of them fainted especially the strongest that thought they were invincible.

-The doctor in the castle said you fucked swooned in the last hour. He recommended to take a break for two weeks.

-My longest break in my life. But very well! I guess I had my fun.

-Waste! Come here sucker! And I used him as a chair for my feet.

-Ey's now our bitch! I'm gonna use em as a lackey.

-Nice! It's good that you found a job for your brother.

-A hooker like you explained how I can grasp some means out of this giant garbage can. If I convince people sell their souls to me I can exchange that with cash at the bank. The money here is worthless and It's infinite so there are no physical money but every citizen of this place has a worth in crystals.

-And they cannot claim this fortune because they don't know about that and can't leave this place even if they wanted.

-Where is the nearest church of this chit?

-I've memorised the map and is at one kilometer south.

-Perfect! We'll take the flying chaise parked in front of the tower last night.

The seven stars started to fade and giant clouds arose to make the sky white again. The chaise was flying at two meters above the sol. This shit was unpredictable and could appear everywhere at any given time. They don't have a program because any schedule or order of any kind plus the math and the numbers were prohibited in this place.

-Look! The Son of Bitch temple!

The church was in a glass building indistinguishable from any other building. There were only three spots: Son of the Bitch, The King of Wankers and The Holy Whore. Any reference to divine or claiming the uniqueness of anything would be unauthorized so the keepers of such churches developed subtle ways to swing the minds of the crowd. Inside It was full of people dark and red lighted with incense sticks burning and guy with a patch standing in the middle under a reflector.

-Listen up! You fools! And give away your soul to the son of the bitch! Hurry up! Hurry up!

A gull crept behind me whispering something about an annual subscription. I told per to piss off.

-Do you think for a second that soul is little? No! It's so big we can't have too much of It so hurry up! We won't be needing your souls for too long so hurry up! Hurry up!

-I agree with the idea that my soul is my approval of you and your cause but I feel offended by the idea that anyone could ever need anything. It's oppressing!