I'd rather be me and you

Getting you caught up

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the mess that is my writing!
Just an overall disclaimer I have no clue how the American grade system works seen as I'm English so I make any mistakes feel free to correct me and I'll be sure to not do that again.

TRIGGER WARNING: This applies to the entire work as even though I am quite a few chapters in to writing it there have been and will be sensitive topics such as self harming, suicide and slurs throughout the chapter. So please read with caution.

So that's everything I wanted to cover! Enjoy folks!

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If anyone reads this and isn't me (Janis Sarkisian) then stop because the things I'm about to talk about are not for your eyes.

My therapist said it would be a good idea for me to write my feelings out in a diary and although I don't agree with her one tiny bit, I figured I'd do it to keep my mother off my chest. She worries about me a lot, I know why but I can't help it. I can't stop something from happening when it's already been happening right under our noses for the last five years.

So I guess I should explain what's been going on in my life, on the off chance that you aren't me but have continued to read anyway.

It all started when Regina George came and destroyed my life. (Like you thought there was going to be no evil villain in this story. Suckers!)

"But like what are you?" The blond haired eight grader pressed me more than I could take. Unfortunately for me, Regina had always known how to push my buttons and with a question like that, well, there wasn't much I could do. Because realistically how do you respond to such a question?
I felt my face heat up, most likely going bright red, as I turned to her and her possy of idiots, "I am a space alien! And I have four butts!" (Not my finest comeback I'll admit.)
She walked away laughing and I felt my stomach drop, she never just leaves things alone. This couldn't be good.

I tried to go about the rest of my day as normally as possible but was so very unsuccessful, i didn't even make it the whole way through lunch before breaking down, and for good reason. Regina had spread the word about our little incident, probably thinking that it was a good way to destroy my life (And boy did it work well), on my locker the words Space Dyke were sharpied in bold sloppy lettering. That was the point that I broke.

I remember clearly that I began crying, sobbing over something that could never be taken back because there was no way that I could convince my entire grade that what Regina George said was untrue. My future was very clearly set in stone and there was no way I could change that, I would forever be known as the girl who got outed by Regina George.

As I cried people sneered and hurled insults at me, that was the first time I remember being happy that the year was almost over, I didn't know what to do and it was clear that I would not be getting help from my peers, they were all her drones and I was an outcast, a monster.

Eventually a teacher came out to see what all the fuss was about (Mrs Jenkins I think her name was), the moment she saw my locker she sprung into action, shouting untill the entire corridor was quiet, she then escorted me to the head office where our principle was, Mr Duvall sent me home that day. I guess it was the only thing he thought he could do.

I didn't go back into school that week, when my mother arrived to pick me up she was furious that the school weren't punishing Regina and the other students for what they had done and said. I was angry too. I was so mad at myself for thinking that she was my friend and sharing my biggest secret with her only for her to throw it back in my face. I hated myself for it. But it had all become so bad so quickly and now it was too late to change anything.

I guess my mum realised that things had gotten bad, really bad, a little too late. I guess if she had noticed earlier I would have gone back to school that year instead of having to be homeschooled.

If she had noticed earlier I might have never had to go to the hospital and I would never have had to stay there for almost a year.

But then again if I hadn't gotten bad, I wouldn't have gotten better and I would never have met Damian. So I guess things happen for a reason.