I'd rather be me and you

The Goodbye and New Beginnings

Okay my future self, next time Damian steals your last kinder egg out of the fridge kill him because I'm now craving something I can't have and it's pissing me off.

Me and Damian bonded quickly, it was like we were ment to meet. It was surprising how good he was with me really because we had just met and he already knew to hold my hand as my mum left.

I wish I were as good a friend as he is. I don't really understand why he sticks around, even after all these years.

After thoroughly looking around the room and deciding that all I'd have to do to make my side better is put up a few paintings me and Damian made our way downstairs to find Erika and my mother. I had assumed she would be leaving soon and wanted her to know that I was happy with being at the Home. To me it was very important that she knew that I was at least a little happy, I didn't want her to leave thinking I was sad or angry about being left with strangers.

Both Erika and my mum were stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for us. My mother had this broken look in her eyes and though she was trying to hold it together I could tell she wanted to cry, it made me feel terrible, I was making her feel like that. I felt my eyes fill with tears and found myself blinking in order to hold them off.

"You call me if you need anything, got it?" She said to me as we walked to the front of it the house.
"I know mum. I'll be okay." I said, my voice shaking even though I knew I would be fine. I was scared, "I'll see you in a couple weeks. We can go out for dinner." I paused for a second, not sure how she was gonna cope, "Just look after Marlene for me, yeah?"

Marlene was my little sister, as sweet as honey and as kind as a human girl can be. I love her with all my heart and quite possible more because she was one of the only things keeping me grounded, she couldn't come today, she had school, so I was missing her more that was probably normal.

"We will be fine Jan. Just look after yourself." I was then pulled into a tight and emotional hug, I felt tears begin to leak down my cheeks and all of a sudden I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to get better if it ment not doing it with my mum and Marlene at my side. "I love you."
I sobbed into her shoulder, "Don't go."
"I have to sweetie. But you'll be okay, I know you don't like this, I dont either, but it'll make you happier and that's all that matters." She put a hand to my cheek, smiling gently and wiping the tears away, "You are going to be fine, maybe even better then fine, but I've helped you all I can."

When we finally pulled appart she pressed a kiss to my forehead and turned, stepping towards our car and sliding into the front seat.
I felt someone link their fingers with mine and turned to see Damian stood next to me, a sad smile on his face and in that moment I knew we were going to always be there for each other. In the years to come he would become my rock, the one constant in the crazy whirlwind that was my life. I loved him for that, I had too.

As the car pulled away, my mother waving at me the entire time, I felt my hand tighten in his and the tears begin to leak down my face at a more steady pace. In a moment of sheer bravery I rested my head on his shoulder and felt the warmth of his skin seep into my very being, his head fell on top of mine and for a moment we were both quiet, just taking in each other's breathing.

"You'll be okay. You know that right?" His voice cut through the silence, but his time was warm.
"I know. I just worry about her, and Mar. Mums always so focused on me I don't think she knows how to take care of a child." I laughed in pure spite of myself, "I kinda skipped the 'child' stage."
"Janis she'll call you if anything happens and if nothing happens you'll be able to see them in a couple weeks."
I knew he was right so I didn't reply, I had to keep control of myself, If I didn't I'd break down and after the emotional rollercoaster that the day had already been, I didn't need to cry anymore.

The sound of the door opening alerted us to the presence of another person.
"Erika can you come sort the DVD player out, both Barrett and Grey and sure it's broken but it always works for you." Kate was stood with her head poking out of the doorway and although she looked a little miffed there was clears signs of amusement on her face.
Erika quirked an eyebrow at me and Damian and then turned to Kate and rolled her eyes, "It doesn't work for Grey or Barrett because neither one of them actually turns it on before opening the DVD slot."

I snorted into Damians shoulder, "Is it always like this here?"
"Yeah pretty much, Barrett and Grey are great and all but are both a bit childish when they want to be. Every one here is fun, even Dr Louderman but them two act more like children then some of the kids." Damian had a certain cheerfulness in his voice as he said this, "Their about to watch a movie, we can go up to our room if you like or we can watch it with them, whatever you'd prefer."

"Let's go watch a movie then!" I said, smiling, I wasn't going to let my awkwardness stop him from watching a film with the other kids at the Home, that would make me feel worse if that was even possible.
"Of course! This way malady!" He replied, leading me through the front door and into the living room which was decked out with armchairs, sofas, bean bags and pillows, most of which had an occupant or two. We settled down on one of the bean bags at the back of the room, watching as the movie began to play, the room was in darkness and even though I was new and different, no one seemed to care. The girl in front of us handed both me and Damian a bowl of popcorn each and smiled at me.

This was defiantly a new beginning, I wasn't sure what to expect in the future but if this is how things were starting, they wouldn't be bad.