I'd rather be me and you

The girl who got hurt

I've had my heart broke a few times, and every time it feels like someone has ripped it out of my chest, stomping on it untill even Damian can't put it back together, try as he might.

No time hurt as much as it did with Cady Heron. She had been so sure of herself and so ignorant of the hurt she was causing me. I forgave her, but I'm not always sure if my heart did. It sometimes still hurts to look at the painting or to ride Damians Jazzy or to look at her.

I guess heartbreak is a little harder to get rid of then I initially thought.

My hands were shaking but I hadn't stoped smiling since my name had been called, I'd won. And first place no less. I hadn't been this happy in a long time, both me and Damian had squealed, him a considerable amount louder then me, when the winners were announced.
"JanJan!" Damian cried as I stepped down off the stage and into his arms, holding both my first place ribbon and painting, "I have never been so proud of you in my life. Well appart from when you punched Shane Oman in the face that one time in chemistry. But I'm still really proud!"
I giggled, feeling surprisingly loopy, and bounced on the balls of my feet as we grinned at one another and Obi wagged his tail enthusiastically, picking up on the unusually elated moods around him.
"Told you that you'd win didn't I?" Damian teased, nudging my shoulder playfully and pressing a kiss to my hair, "I can sense talent and you my dear are talented."

I blushed deeply, my cheeks heating up at an alarming rate, and beamed at my soulmate, "Thanks Damian. I wish Caddy were here though, I miss her and she's been spending less time with us since Regina fell."
Damian nodded and put an arm over my shoulder, steering me towards the drinks table at the back of the room, "I know sweets, but that's her choice and she would have come if she could have." I could tell he didn't fully believe that statement.
"Its tits damian. You're here aren't you. That's all I need." I stopped for a moment, "Well actually I'd love for mum and Marlene to be here but there's no way in hell my delightful father would have let that happen."
Damian chuckled at that and went to say something but was cut off by both our phones vibrating violently in our pockets.
I pulled out my phone at the same speed Damian did, turning it on and almost dropping it when I read the notification.
My eyes met Damians and it was then I realised I had teared up. I couldn't see his face clearly and I knew I was panicking because Obi had begun to whine at me, butting his head against my hand and pulling on the skirt if my dress impatiently.

"Damian," I stuttered scrolling through all the Instagram notifications, "Please tell me this is all a sick joke that you and Cady planned. Please tell me she didn't lie to our faces." My heart rate had long since begun skyrocketing and I was struggling to keep calm.
"Janis it's not a joke. At least not one I'm in on." Damian replied softly, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder.
It didn't stop the walls from spinning and the ground dipping beneath me.
"Can we go home, but past her house first?" I asked quietly, not looking him in the eye and ignoring Obi completely. I was not going to let this destroy me, not again.
"JanJan is that really a good idea?"
"Please Damian!" I cried, grasping at his sleeve, "Please. I have to talk to her. If this is true I have to know why she did it, I have to!"
"Okay. Okay we'll go. But the moment you get upset we're leaving." There was no room for discussion in his voice but I didn't argue there wasn't any point. I wouldn't win.

The thumping of music nearby made my heart sink and my arms tighten on Damians shoulders as I rode the back of the jazzy. I felt Damian tense under my grip and knew that whatever happend in the next few moments wouldn't be good.
Then I saw her rush accros the street after some kid, that was presumably Aaron, and almost fell of the Jazzy alltogther. She was calling after him and had just left a house that was the source of all the loud music and was most defiantly her house.
I felt a sick feeling form in my stomach and took a step off the Jazzy to avoid falling off.

"You dirtly little liar!" I heard myself cry as Cady turned and her eyes widened when she saw us.
"Shit!" She moaned, "Janis I can explain!"
"Explain what? How you're supposed to be out of town when 60 different people are posting pictures of your party!?" I had begun to walk closer to her, my anger boiling over and blocking out anything Damian was saying about our curfue. As far as I was concerned the curfue didn't matter anymore.
"You know I couldn't invite you!" Cady argued, her flippant attitude striking me with alarming force, "I have to pretend I don't know you!"
I heard myself choke out a laugh and shoved her slightly, "You are full of lies!" I fumed, my face hot with anger and what could have been tears, "You could have invited anyone you liked, you could have, like, changed the way the world worked you just decided not to!"

"You would have hated this party!" Cady cried, walking past me in an attempt to get away.
"Why? Are you having an amazing time with your amazing friends?" I snarked, knowing I was being mean and pushing to far but Damian wasn't stopping me and I didn't know how to stop myself.
"Jesus Janis! I can't spend every second with you! It's not my fault you're like in love with me or something!" Cadys voice rang in my ears for a few moments.
Then my heart stopped, so did the Jazzy.
Damians angry cry of, "Oh no she did not!" Echoed in my head along with Cadys words and I felt my resolve break. Any control I had once held over my anger was now gone.
(AN: This is where I deviate from the script a little. Well actually a lot.)

"Really?" I gasped, a no doubt astonished look on my face, "Really? That's the card you're playing? That I'm in love with you?" I pushed, pushing my hair out of my face and wiping away the few escaped tears as I did so,  "I'm honestly not surprised. Not really. Cause that's what you Plastics do, you avert the blame and make other people the bad guys. It's like I'm dealing with Regina all over again." I laughed, humorously, "Well I mean, it's almost like I'm dealing with Regina again. She at least had the decency to not pretend to be my friend." I felt a sob rip it's way out my mouth and clapped a hand over it before I broke completely. I turned, grabbing the painting out of the Jazzy and throwing it at Cady, not caring when it hit her in the face or when she gasped in hurt, "Here have it. It won a prize."

"Janis I-" She started to say, taking a step forward and attempting to touch my arm, I jerked back angrily.
"No!" I shouted, "You wanna know what the worst thing about this is? It's that I didn't learn! I bought this on myself by befriending you in the first place. Because of course you were going to end up like Regina! Of course the only person I could actually trust was Damian and of course you never actually cared about me or us!"
Cadys expression changed, "I'm nothing like Regina!" She cried indignantly, "You're the one who was using me for your eight grade revenge!"
I grabbed a fistfull of Obis fur, trying to ground myself, "God. At least me and Regina George know we're mean! You act like you're so innocent! And while sure, technically all of this is my fault, I never wanted to get revenge on her, she hurt you and i got mad because I cared about you! But I didnt want things to go like this and I never wanted to lose you!" My voice broke so I spoke a lot quieter, "But it's fine, I'm the bad guy. If that's what makes you happy then so be it." I turned toward the Jazzy, seeing Damians angry expression aimed at Cady and walked towards him, tears falling from my chin onto the ground.

"I never wanted any of this Cady. I just wanted someone I could trust but that obviously wasn't you. So go be with your new friends. We'll be fine without you." I wrapped my arms around Damians neck, burying my face in his hair and standing on the back of the jazzy. Waiting untill we had gotten far enough away to actually brake down.
I sobbed into his hair and felt my body shake violentlyas I did so. This had gotten so bad so quickly. I felt Damians hand on my arm and tried to concentrate on that.
"This isn't your fault Jan." He said calmly, although I could still hear the anger in his voice, "She made her choice and while yes, you and I both made bad decisions that girl just did something unforgivable. She should not be aloud to throw who you are in your face like that."

I sobbed harder, barely forming a coherent sentence, "Yeah but it wasn't like she was wrong!" I cried, "It is my fault and I do love her. I hate myself for it but I still love her!" I began crying full force again and didn't stop untill long after we got home.
Damian stayed with me, holding my close and assuring me that everything would be okay even though I knew nothing could be. Not after tonight.