I'd rather be me and you

The final Session

I am well aware that a few of the scenarios in this chapter would never actually happen like the do, it just works for the story.

Enjoy

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My last session with Taylor entailed a lot of things, it was my first human contact with my mother since Marlenes birthday, my final goodbye to the doctor who had changed my life and one of my final days at the Home.

Oh it was also the day I applied for a service dog, for my anxiety. Taylor had mentioned that it would be a good idea if I was set on going back to school seen as my anxiety was really bad and the meds could only do so much.

That's how me and Damian became a trio, and how Obi came into my life.

Erika came bounding into mine and Damians room with a big smile plastered on her face and a tub of sugar cookies in her hands, "Looks like you two are almost packed!" She surveyed the room, a sad look in her eyes, my yellow cases were out again, holding all of my clothes and personal belongings that I wouldn't be needing in the next two days. The beds were made and the room tidier than it had been in months, Damian had taken all of his playbills down and the fairy lights were no longer strung up. The room looked empty and filled me with a hollow feeling. This room had been my home for almost two years.

"Janis, Barrett said to check the bathroom if you still can't find your washbag because she's sure she saw one in there-Oh hey Erika!" Damian walked into the room with his arms full of clean sheets for the beds.
"Good morning Damian. You two excited about tomorrow? You finally get to go home!" The question was supposed to make us talk I think, instead both me and Damian sat on the edge of my bed, not really knowing what to say, "Oh no! Are you having second thoughts about going back to school?" Erika sat next to me, the cookies long forgotten.

"I dunno. There's just so much that could go wrong." I run me fingers through my hair and cast a nervous look at Damian.
Erika hummed, "I used to hate going to school. My dad would have to actually fight with me to get me up in the mornings because the idea used to make me feel sick, it was just so much chaos in one place. My therapist, whos actually Tina, told me a fact that helped me. She said, 'Erika, when a storms coming the buffalo will run headfirst into it instead of away because going towards it gets you out quicker, be the buffalo.' And from that day on I kept that story and ideal in my head because I knew that if I chose to go into the storm I'd feel a lot better then running away."

I let her words sink in, "That's amazing. Thank you Erika." I smiled at her and felt the tears being to brim in my eyes, "I'm still gonna miss it here." I muttered, watching as Damian nodded along.
"So will I." He agreed, his cheeks flushing a red colour, "And I guess I'll miss the team here as well."

The idea that this time next week I would be walking into an actual highschool only armed with Damian and a backpack scared me, but I knew that if I could be the buffalo that I'd be fine.
Ashley appeared in the door, her hair in bouncy curls around her face, "Taylor is ready to see you Janis. It's time to say farewell."
I nodded and stood, giving Damians hand one last Squeeze and leaving the room with Ashley.

Taylor was waiting for me in the kitchen when I got downstairs which on its own was really surprising, the other surprising thing was that my mother was stood next to her.
"Mum!" I cried, jumping into her arms and burying my head in her shoulder.
She laughed, gripping me tightly like I might slip away, "Hi baby."
"I figured now would be a good time for the pair of you too see one another." Taylor said with her lips pressed together in a thin line, she didn't look happy and I wasn't sure why.
"I'm going home Tommorow. I'll be seeing her everyday." I pointed out what I could tell was a nervous smile filling my face.
My mum looked at me, cheeks upturned into a pained grimace, "Um actually Janis, you won't be living with me and Marlene."

I felt my stomach drop and my eyes fill with tears, "What why?"
"Sweetie, your father has offered to help with the medical bills that we get from the hospital, Marlene needs all the help she can get, he's coming to live at the house for the time being but he said he wouldn't help if-"
"If I was there. Yeah mum I get it. He hates me." I cut her off with sarcasm dripping off my toung, "So if I'm not living with you then where am I going?"
"To live with me!"

I turned to see Damian grinning at me, Mrs Hubbard stood beside him with an elated expression.
"I'm signing over your parental rights to the Hubbards." My mother explained, putting a hand on my shoulder that I really wanted to slap off, "Untill your sister gets better it's safer for you with them. I didn't want to do this baby but-"
I felt my stomach jolt and turned to her, "We have to do what's best for Marlene. I understand."
"You'll be treated like family for however long your with us, Damians always wanted a younger sister so he's elated." Mrs Hubbard walked towards me, her son trailing behind her with the mannerisms of an overenegetic puppy, "We know it's not ideal but-"
"It's perfect." I smiled reassuringly, "I get to live with my second family."

Erikas phrase 'Be the buffalo' was repeating inside my head. I know I had to be the brave one in all of this, If I was brave I would feel better and slightly less abandoned. I had to be the buffalo and I had to be strong.

I turned to Taylor, "Is this why you wanted to have a session on my last day here?" I asked with raised eyebrows.
She nodded, looking sheepishly at the people around us, "For this and for another reason. Janis because your anxiety hasn't gotten any better whilst you've been her me, your mother and Mrs Hubbard have made some executive decisions."
My eyes widened, "Are you not gonna let me go?" I asked, terror filling my body as I started to shake anxiously, I had just been told I had to live away from my family, being told I couldn't go to school would be the thing to break me, I just knew it.
"No No No! Nothing like that. We've decided it would be best to apply to get you a service animal." My mother looked at me with her big brown eyes, the eyes I inherited from her despite the flecks of honey that infested mine, she had a hopeful look, "It should help you be around more people and in everyday situations in general."

I nodded not quiet sure what to say, having a Service animal would help for sure, but taking it to school wouldn't help with my social image, I didn't need to give Regina more reasons to pick on me. Then I remembered what I had told Damian at the ice cream shop, to be brave, I had to be brave.

"Let's do it."