Restart

Chapter 25. Intimacy

Alexander sits next to me instead of the back seat and although he is not talking on the phone, he doesn't even say hi. He looks troubled and frustrated, but I decide not to react to this, so I gather my courage and I greet him with a smile.
He is now looking at me in a way, that somehow reminded me of a child patient I had, that all he wanted every time I would ask him was to go home with me. He had lost both his parents and was fighting with delusions, but I managed to control the frequency and the intensity of their appearance, with minimum medication usage. So I interpret his look, as a need for reassurance that everything is eventually going to be ok, although I don't know what's really bothering him.
"I see that something is wrong and troubling you, but I am only going to ask where would you like to go and please know that if you ever feel like talking, I am here for you. You are so lucky to get a driver that comes with the bonus of also being a psychiatrist." My effort to make him smile, goes down the drain.
"Let's go to that restaurant we went to last time." He simply says in a tired tone of voice.
I get on the road, driving and not talking. Obviously that's what he needs, because if he wanted to talk he would. He is holding the back of his neck with his left hand and has taken off the arm sling, that prevents the hand with the cast from hanging, that was obviously the reason for the discomfort he felt on his neck.
When we get to the restaurant we are seated to his usual table and he immediately orders for the both of us, without asking me what I wanted. I think that was very rude of him, but realizing that he is in a really bad mood and looking extremely troubled, I decide not to make an issue over this.
"Should I eat my lunch somewhere else? I take it you don't usually have your driver to join you in your table."
"No, please stay. I am not meeting with anyone today." He simply says in a tired voice still rubbing the back of his neck.
I get up from my seat and place myself right behind him. I ask him to take off the sling again and I massage his neck to soften the muscles and relieve him from the pain. At first his body tenses at my touch but after a while I feel him relaxing and even hear some groans of relief escape his mouth during the massage so I know I am doing a good job. I only stop when after a while he grabs my left hand kissing it softly before pushing it away.
"Thank you." He sighs, showing me my seat.
"So now it's another bonus, a masseuse along with the driver/psychiatrist. I think I will be voted as employee of the year." I say, but still no smile. "Are you in pain?"
"Not that much. You took most of the pain away with that massage. Thank you." He kindly says smiling, but I can see he is somewhat sad.
I decide to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the lunch and I am hiding away my uncomfortableness. I try to finish my meal as promised to my mom and then I remember she has a boyfriend living with her. I sigh in despair, not realizing I am doing it out-loud.
"What's up with you?"
"I am sorry, I was just thinking of my mother. We spoke earlier today."
"What about her?" He said while chewing and finally seeming a bit better.
"Well..."
"Well what?"
"She told me her boyfriend moved in with her."
"So? Why is that something to be upset about? At least she has a boyfriend and a life, unlike some other people I know."
"Ouch. That hurts!" And by that, he finally smiles.
"Anyway, they have only been dating for three months and I think this is a step taken too soon."
"What does your father think about this?" He jokes.
"I can't ask him, since we still didn't find a way to communicate with the dead. I mean I did think of getting back in touch with him through a lady that claimed she could get me in contact with his spirit, but I am a bit of a sceptic on trying that I guess." I blandly say.
He spits his water back to his glass and laughs while choking. I knock his back with my palm and I laugh with him. Finally! His mood changed.
"I was thinking of a way to apologize for mentioning your dead father, out of ignorance and I was completely taken by surprise when you made a joke about him. What's wrong with you?" He says laughing while wiping his chin with a napkin.
"Well, it's been three years since he died, so I've completely made my peace with that. I do miss him, some days more than others, but it's not like I can do something about it."
"Was he ill?"
"No, he died suddenly from a heart attack."
"I know nothing about you."
"Well, what's to tell? Uhm... nothing much really. Is there something in particular you would want to know?
"Nothing you wouldn't want to tell me, without me asking."