Restart

Chapter 34. The outbreak of a guilt.

Alexander's p.o.v.
"Morning beautiful." I greet her while entering the car. Now with Claire being my driver, I usually sit in the front seat and not in the back like I used to, because although it's very uncomfortable for me to work in the front of the car while moving from place to place, I prefer being next to her, over the comfortableness of having bigger space.
"You have to sit in the back, to be able to work, there is no space for you here." She notices, as if she was reading my mind.
"Ok, whenever I have to work on papers, I will seat in the back." I smile.
Before I get off the car, I ask her how she plans on spending her day and she tells me she is planning to sign up to a gym, because she needed to gain muscle. I laugh at her and she looks at me in a look that was something between 'I am offended' and 'I want to laugh along with you'.
"They can help me gain some weight you know. You are such an ignoramus, to think that people only go to the gym to lose weight or become fit." She indicates.
"Oh, so I see you are taking up on my advice to make yourself curvy and turn me into your sex slave for life." And by saying that, I crack her up.
"Not really, sorry to say this but this was one of my goals, before I even met you. I found this gym when I was still back in London when I was trying to organize my life here."
"And how is it working so far for you?"
"Well, I haven't managed to stick to the schedule I had prepared, most likely I completely tore that in pieces, but I can't say I'm complaining, for the way things turned out to be so far." She admits.
"See you for lunch?" I ask, still smiling from what she said.
"That's completely up to you. During the day I follow your orders and I'm being a good girl." She says teasing me.
"And at nights you are being naughty, torturing your boss, while manipulating your way into his heart, with your little tricks." I smirk.
"Shut the door! You are running late."
"Meet me at my office. We'll have lunch there, to save me time as I have to many things to attend to."
I close the door behind me and I leave her, but it isn't easy. Why am I so attached to her? I haven't felt like that, since the time I was dating my first official girlfriend back in high school. We were always on each other's face, as if we were glued together.
That's how I feel with Claire. I thought that all beautiful women were just about the same, but she is so different. Nothing makes sense without her, not even sleeping. It was so hard for me to fall asleep alone last night, after sleeping with her in my arms, the one before.
When I would sometimes stay in Bella's house, I would turn on the other side of the bed, from where she was, not feeling the need to touch her and definitely not have her sleeping in my arms. But Claire felt like she belonged there. It was like a bird in its nest, and last night I was an empty nest without it's bird?
"Good morning Mr. Anderson. Your father expects to see you in his office."
"Good morning Alicia. What mood was he in?"
"Not a very good one sir."
"Ok, tell him I am busy then. I don't want to see him."
I enter my office as I have a million things to do and I decide to take up on Claire's advice and not let him manipulate or influence me like he usually does.
An hour passes and I hear a knock on the door. I know who it is, but I am aware that I can't avoid him forever.
"What?"
"Mr. Anderson, your father is here to see you."
"Let him in."
"So, you don't want to face me."
"Face you for what?"
"For the way you treated Mingmei."
"Yeah, about that, I do think you owe me an apology dad."
"Me? I owe you an apology?" He spits, emphasizing the 'I'.
"Yes, YOU. I know I told you I won't go through this wedding, loud and clear, but you simply refuse to listen. If you feel this is so important, then why don't you marry her? It's going to be a fake wedding anyway according to you, so since you are single you should do it. Her father can rest assured that she will be safe with you." I provoke him, obviously questioning his sexuality.
His eyes turn black, as his pupils dilate from anger and he steps closer, grabbing me from the shirt.
"I've had enough of your jokes, over one fucking mistake I made, that cost me the love of my life and my family."
"Oh, really, the love of your life huh? If you loved her so much where were you all those nights when you weren't at home."
"I was being a stupid horny man, fucking around every woman I could get my hands to."
"Ha! Really? Women?"
"Yes women! ENOUGH! He screams so loud that his yelling, ends up in a cough.
"I think you humiliated me enough for that mistake. It was ONE FUCKING TIME, I sworn to you too many times. I was drinking a lot during that period and that young man was working for me. I knew he was gay as he had come on to me before, but I didn't fire him just for being gay. That day he saw I was drunk and convinced me to blow me. That's when your mom walked in on us. She already had enough of my cheating and that was the final straw that led to her mental death. I paid dearly for that mistake and I will keep on paying for it for as long as I'm alive, since your mom's loss is completely on me haunting my thoughts and nights. I couldn't get her back. God knows I tried, but I couldn't, I destroyed her. I am so fucking SORRY." He screams shaking.
I am left dumbfounded! He was crying. That was the second time I ever saw him crying. He left my office feeling humiliated after he had bared his soul there in front of me. I am glad he did, as I was sort of relieved that he wasn't the motionless monster I thought he was. He was hurting, for the loss of my mother, who he called 'the love of his life'. And he wasn't gay, which meant that the woman he was living with, was his actual partner and more importantly that he truly loved his wife and had me, not to mask his sexual preferences, but while being in-love with my mom.
"Claire, could you please pick me up from the office?"
"Of course, I will be there in 10 minutes, what's wrong?"
"I'll tell you later." I say and hang up.
"Alicia please cancel all of my appointments for the day. Tell them I am not feeling well."
"Sir, you have some issues that need to be dealt with today."
"Redirect them all to my father. Give him half an hour before you inform him."
"How about your online meetings?"
"No, I'll deal with those."

Claire's p.o.v.
"Claire, Mr. Anderson is on its way to you. He is extremely upset, but I don't know what for, as he was so pleasant this morning. He even said good morning to me, and called me by my name for the first time. All his appointments are canceled so I have no idea of his plans. You will need to follow new instructions."
"Ok, Alicia. Thanks for letting me know."
I stop the car right in front of him and he gets in the back seat.
"Please drive me to my dad's house." Is the only thing he says and then he goes back to his call, lost in a bunch of papers, looking extremely frustrated.
I don't say or ask anything from him, not even when he hangs up the phone, he takes off his jacket, loosens his tie, and unbuttons two of his shirt's buttons, as he continues to work nonstop, looking as if he was choking.
When we reach the house he nods his head in awareness and informs me that he needed a minute alone so I get out of the car to smoke a cigarette. After a couple of minutes he comes next to me pulling a puff from my cigarette, finishing it off and flicking it away.
"Are you ok?"
He puts his arms around me and takes a big breath in, holding it for a while before exhaling.
"Let's go in."
"Is your dad home? I prefer to wait for you in the car if that's ok."
"No, my dad is still at the office and he will be there for the day. I want to speak to Teresa."
"Really? Did I have such an influence on you yesterday?" I try to make a joke, but I don't see the reaction I was expecting, as I am clueless of how serious this is and for everything that I am about to find out.
He grabs my hand for the first time, keeping me close, while walking towards the building and my heart is pounding, as I know he doesn't express his feelings in public and we weren't dating or anything, so this meant a lot to me, but was also very confusing. I mean he didn't seem to care if someone saw us, although this was his father's neighborhood, so this was kind of a big deal.