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Chapter 65. A not so Merry Chtistmas.

"Hey Ronan, can we talk?"
"Merry Christmas Claire, what are you doing here, I thought you'd be in Paris by now."
"So he didn't tell you."
"Of course he did, he is my best friend."
"No, I mean about Bella taking my place next to him in that plane last minute."
"No way! He was so excited that you guys would have the opportunity to get away from everything and spend some time on your own."
"Well, things changed and he said he was tired of waiting, so he took Bella instead. Anyway, that's not what I am here for, this is something you should discuss with him. If he really went to Paris with her, I am so done!"
He looks so surprised and he doesn't say anything, so I ask him for exactly what I need before I start going downhill again and lose my mind. I am not going to be weak this time around.
"Look, I was going to ask you to confirm that he indeed went to Paris with that girl and to be honest with me for once. I wanted you to tell me the truth about this man that still remains a mystery to me, as he keeps proving me wrong. But now, all I want is for you to call him right now here in front of me, put him on speaker and ask him if we arrived safely and if he confirms that, ask him if you can talk to me, so that you can wish me a Merry Christmas and if he tells you Bella is there instead, find a way to make him confirm it."
"How? And why should I do that?"
"It's easy, just tell him you don't believe him and as far as why you should do that, I think you forget you owe me your medical license. If I had pressed charges, your professional career would be ruined."
"Claire I thought I was your friend too. Why are you talking to me like that? I realize you are upset but it's not my fault. Anyway, I understand what your intentions are so I will only do it if I can tell him the truth at the end."
"You mean that I put you up to this? Sure, I would like that too."
He calls him but he doesn't answer so we sit and talk for a while, as it's Christmas Day and it's not that busy at the hospital, which only works for the emergency incidents and all the inner patients that are still recovering. He seems really hurt when I tell him about Paul and how I am unsure of my feelings about him, but he appreciates my honesty as he many times told me, so he is not so hard on me and my current messed up mentality.
"You should have gone to Paris with him and talk to him right after. You two haven't spend any time together for so long and I think it would help you to straighten up your feelings because you guys had a rough time while in the meantime Paul was there being supportive, so it's only natural to be a little confused. You love him Claire, I know you do, so don't throw it all away. What you felt about that Paul guy is gratitude and sympathy, not love." He says looking distressed.
"Of course it's not love, who said it was, I only said that I needed some time to straighten out my feelings, as I was suddenly attracted to another man in a not so clear way. I also did tell him I loved him more than anything and he went and broke my heart by doing something like that."
"Oh come on, don't be so selfish! You did the exact same thing and even worse. You told me he watched you kissing him."
"I know but..."
"But nothing Claire. You are no better than him and to be honest you both messed up, so..."
His phone interrupts him. It's Alexander and he answers, but I ask him to put the speaker on, so I can also hear what they say.
"Hey, you! Merry Christmas bro, did you have a good flight?"
"Yes, just fine, Merry Christmas." He sounds sad.
"Where is Claire? Put her on the phone, I want to wish her Merry Christmas too."
"Uhm, Claire's not here."
"When will she be back? Tell her to give me a ring when she does."
"She won't. She didn't come here with me. We had another fight, so if you want to talk to her call her on her cell, or her other boyfriend's phone."
"What? Alexander what are you talking about?"
"Let's talk when I'm back ok?" He sighs.
"So, you're in Paris all alone then?"
"No, I actually brought Bella along with me. I need to get this relationship over and done with, as Claire has turned me into a sentimental wuss and that doesn't suit me. That's simply not who I am. I'm done waiting for her to be ready. Anyway, let's talk later, as I don't want to discuss this over the phone and I am quite busy as I haven't fucked anyone for so long, so I am planning on changing that soon."
"Alexander enough, she is here and she heard everything. She was the one who asked me to call you and honestly you are both so fucked up, that you deserve each other."
I am crying in distress and I immediately regret what I did. I am not strong enough for this and I feel like I'll lose my mind. My heart is so sore and my even my breathing feels uneasy.
"Claire? Stop crying please, I can hear you. Ronan, you asshole! Why would you do this?" He roars.
"I owe her man! I told her I would do it if I could come clean at the end. Besides, why is this a problem? Were you planning on lying to her about Bella?"
"No. I already told her."
"Well, I didn't believe you, how could you actually do this to me?" I suddenly shout.
"You are joking! I did this to you? No, no, no, you don't get to say that and you don't get to cry acting all hurt and betrayed, as you did this to yourself. Now go ran back to your new boyfriend and let me go back to my life, as I already wasted three and a half months of it."
And he hangs up the phone. Ronan hugs me and tells me he is sorry but I tell him I am not and all I have to do now is just face the truth and move on.
I spend the rest of Christmas Day all alone in my empty apartment between crying and trying to think of a new plan for the future, that didn't include Alexander. I block his number and his contact from any social media app that he could possibly use to get in touch with me, but that was the only thing I could come up with. Tomorrow's boxing day, so I will go to that same antique shop to find some furniture for my apartment and that should keep me busy for a couple of days, as I have so many things in mind to do with this place, but then what? I have the week off from work, the gym is closed and the very little friends that I have, are either connected with Paul or Alexander.
Paul called me like a hundred times, so I call him back, as it's not fair to keep him worried.
"Hey gorgeous, where are you? Please stop doing this, do you know how worried I am?"
"Sorry. I needed some time to myself."
"As long as you are ok. Where are you, please don't tell me you are all alone!"
"Yes I am, but that's exactly what I want."
"Claire I can be there in three hours. It's not such a long drive."
"No, I wouldn't tell you where I am even if you came. I bought the apartment I told you about."
"Great, congratulations! Can't wait to see it."
"When are you coming back? Could I go back to work earlier?"
"No, you know we can't."
"I just need to keep my mind busy, so I won't have to think about Alexander all the time, as this will drive me crazy eventually. I don't know, maybe I'll call Stephanie later."
"She is at Yiannis for the day. He will introduce her to his Greek family, which is a huge thing obviously, as she is the first one they will meet."
"Oh wow! Yeiii for Steph!" I cheer.
"Glad to hear you are a bit happier."
"Yes. Stephanie's relationship is the only thing Merry for me on this Christmas day." I manage a smile.
"Claire..." Paul hesitates.
"What?"
"Nothing, Merry Christmas."