Chapter 49. A day from hell

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Her phone is off and it's past midnight. Where on earth is she? I call Paul, because I am worried sick about her and I don't know where else to start looking from. I wouldn't mind if she was having too much fun and decided to stay with that girl, but I knew she would text me or something, so I wouldn't worry. Even if her battery was dead, she could use another phone to get in contact.
"Hi, Paul this is Alexander. I am sorry to disturb you this late but I was wondering if you knew where Claire is."
"No, I have no idea. She was supposed to go shopping with Stephanie in the afternoon so maybe they went for a drink after that. Where did you get my phone? Did Claire give it to you?"
"No, I found it on the Internet. You do know you are a registered psychologist don't you?"
"Well, I really don't know where they might be. Give me a moment to call Steph, as obviously you can't reach her the same way you reached me." He says, sounding a bit bothered.
"Thanks man, I appreciate it. I know she wouldn't let me worry like that, as she was supposed to come home hours ago, so I am afraid something is up."
"Hold on a minute, she is home."
And I now hear him talking to a female voice who I assume was Stephanie, asking her where Claire is, but I can't make out what she is saying as she is too far away from the receiver.
"Uhm...Listen, now I am also worried about her. Stephanie told me she left hours ago, after they finished shopping and said she was coming home to you."
"Fuck! Let me talk to her please." I say now fully alerted.
"Hey, this is Stephanie. Where is Claire? Did something happen to her?"
"I was hoping you would tell me. Did you see her getting in a car?"
"No, my boyfriend met us later at the mall to grab something to eat, but she said you were waiting for her and left us to come to you."
I feel my heart pounding and I know the bad feeling I had was real. What was I supposed to do?
"Are you going to call the police?" Now Paul is back on the phone.
"I honestly don't know, but yes, I think this is a good way to start."
"Listen I'll help you, let me call the police as Stephanie was the last one to see her and you call whoever you think she might have visited or contacted."
"Ok, thanks. Save my phone and call me right back."
I call everyone, starting from Alicia who told me she couldn't reach her to inform her of tomorrow's schedule as they always do and that only adds up to my anxiety. She offered to help, so I tell her to go from the office, to see if she could find something out. The guard could let her in and maybe he knew something, like if Claire had passed by there earlier. Anything at all!
Next I call my dad and ask him to also speak with Teresa. I woke them up, so it took him a couple of minutes to understand what I was saying and how serious this was. He says he'll call me back the minute he knows anything, but my hopes of finding her are disappearing in front of my eyes.
I am now in the car driving towards the mall, feeling desperate and helpless, not knowing where to start. I am imagining the worst things possible and I think I'll go crazy if I don't find her soon enough. I park the car and I walk around the mall, while calling the hospital, just in case something happened to her. At this point, I was hopeless and I didn't know what else to do, or where to go.
My phone rings and I am so nervous that I drop it in my effort to answer as soon as possible. It was Paul, but he was only calling to see if I found out anything.

Claire's p.o.v.
I get in the first taxi I find and then the door opens and a man gets in from the other side, sitting next to me. But I freeze and fall into a state of shock when I see... Michael. Is it really him? He can't be. Michael is dead! My mind is once again playing games with me. I can't scream, I can't move and I can't even make a sound, but I hear him telling the driver to take us to this hotel.
"Claire, sweetie please don't be scared. It's me Michael. I only want to talk to you. I promise I am not going to hurt you,"
Nothing! I can't react. I am only barely breathing and I am not even crying. Am I afraid? I don't know. I am not sure this is even real. No, it can't be! This is another nightmare.
"Baby, I know you are in shock but I swear I will protect you and keep you safe."
Is he for real? Protect me from who? Himself? A million thoughts pass by my racing mind and I think I am going to lose it any minute now. It can't be. He is dead! Why am I suddenly hallucinating again?
We reach the hotel and he picks me up from the seat, telling the driver I am drunk. I know I am screaming inside and my heart is pounding so fast to the point it hurts, but I am unable to react, move or speak.
We are now in his room and he places me on the bed. I want to run but I can't fucking move. Why? I keep asking myself repeatedly why is this happening to me again? Is this real? No it's only a nightmare I keep thinking to myself over and over trying to convince my mind. Yes! That's what it is, all I need to do is wake up.
"Baby... I've missed you so much. Please look at me. I am worried from how you look. Please I need you to come back to me. We have a lot to discuss."
He is touching my hair. No! I need to pinch my hand and wake up. I can't move though. Help! I can't handle this nightmare. Alexander, where are you? Are you sleeping next to me? Please wake me up. Can you hear me? I am scared!
"Sweetheart look at me! I am not dead, my mom lied to you. She told everyone I died, as she told me I was dead to her, but I wasn't really dead. I left, as I couldn't bear the thought of me hurting you like that when I had temporarily lost my mind."
I need to wake up, I need to wake up...
"You are my life and I will never leave you, never again! I am so sorry baby. I was wrong about everything!"
And he starts kissing me, but finally my mouth opens and a terrifying scream comes out that pushes him away. I am still unable to react but I now feel tears rolling down my eyes. Is this real? I can feel the tears burning my skin.
"Listen baby, we need to talk and I promise I'll explained everything to you. Please don't be scared. It was all Oliver's fault. You remember when the two of us had a nasty fight over him and I asked you never to see him again? You said you needed time and I promised you I would give you space, to think things through. But you left our house and you went to that fucking hotel, which drove me crazy. You told me you had enough of my jealousy and you would only come back if I finally began to trust you.
That's when I went to find him, because I've had enough of him flirting with you and trying to take you away from me. It was all his fault and I know you didn't have anything to do with it, but I lost it. He knew you were pregnant but he wouldn't leave you alone, as he kept meddling in our life. While I was punching him, he spit his blood on me and told me I wasn't good enough for you and said he would claim you. You two had history together, so when he told me you had spent the week with him when we had that fight just before we got back together when you got pregnant, I believed him. Then I told him I didn't care, as we weren't together at the time and baby... believe me, I swear to you I told him I would accept your mistake and I honestly would, but then he told me 'good luck raising my bastard' and that's when I flipped."
Is this my imagination? Is this the sick explanation my brain could come up with? I need to wake up...
"Baby, I love you. I never stopped loving you! I was a coward and didn't know how to react to everything I did. I was so drunk, I barely knew what I was doing. I swear to you I didn't want to harm you, or the baby even if it wasn't mine. I am so sorry." And he is now sobbing with his head placed on my knees, but I can't move, only now I feel dizzy and then suddenly everything finally goes black, taking me out of this nightmare I am in.
I wake up in his arms, feeling disgusted but terrified as I now finally realize this is not a nightmare and I am the only one to help myself escape from this. Michael is alive! My child's murderer is here and now I know I have to get away. Strangely I can now move, so I try to slide away from him, but he grabs me.
"Please don't leave me. I beg you, let's talk. Say something, anything!"
"Don't touch me." I managed to shout in a hysterical voice.
"Ok, I am sorry. I'll do anything you say. I swear to you I'll make this right."
"You killed her! There is nothing you can ever do to make this right! And for what? For NOTHING!" I was now screaming. I woke up from my coma and I am again able to speak and move, as the original shock has finally left me.
"You sick bastard! I never had anything with Oliver after you and I got together and the week I left I was also in that hotel ALONE trying to gather my thoughts, but I didn't tell you because I knew you would come and find me and I needed time to myself to reassemble all my broken pieces.
I thought Oliver was my friend and yes he knew everything and I thought he was being supportive, but why would he say all those lies to you? Was hurting you so important, that he would say all those awful things about me, not thinking of the impact his fake accusations could eventually have on me?
"I know baby! Oliver came clean and told me everything as he was tormented from guilt and that's when I disappeared."
"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME BABY AGAIN!" I say scratching my throat which led me to vomit.
"I won't! I am sorry. I will do everything you say. I'll make this right I swear!"
"SHUT UUUUUP!" And I reach for the door but he prevents me from leaving.
"Let me go!" I demand.
"I will! Just give me a minute."
"No! I never want to see you again and I now wish you really were dead!"
"Baby, please don't say that."
"You left me pregnant on purpose didn't you? You switched my birth control pills from my little pink box and left me thinking I messed up, telling me I was the one to mix up the pills with the ones I had for my patients."
"I...Yes I did. I was afraid to lose you and I thought that if we had a baby together, we would stop arguing over short dresses and nights out with friends. We would have a family and you would finally be mine and mine alone."
"You are sick. You need help Michael, please let me go. Open the door." I beg with tears.
"If Oliver hadn't lied about you sleeping with him, nothing would have happened. I thought the child was his as I knew your pills didn't offer you any protection and I lost it. Please baby, you have to believe me I didn't know."
"Even if it was his baby, how could you do this to an unborn child? How could you do this to me? You are a disgusting monster and I never want to see you again. Never! I left England to ran away from everything that was haunting me, as you literally made me lose myself and now you are here. How did you even find me?"
"I've been tracking your phone since we were together. I installed a hidden app that works as a transmitter, in case you ever got lost or anything and I only remembered it a month ago, when I was desperately trying to find you. I knew you left England, as I had people informing me about you, but nobody knew where you went."
"Who? Who else knows you are alive?"
"Now everyone knows, as I went back the moment I learned you disappeared. I went to visit your mom to apologize but she immediately called the police."
"You stay away from her. Stay away from all of us. Just let me go!"
"Baby please!"
"Shut the fuck up, I am not afraid of you anymore, I was just shocked previously when I saw you, as I thought you were dead. I have a new life and it certainly doesn't include you."
"Yes, I saw that you have moved on and you are seeing this rich guy now, but honey I am not dead. We can be together again and this time, I promise you I am a changed man. I've learned my lesson now and I promise to cherish you and take care of you. And I swear to God I will never question you again, I will trust you and deal with my issues without bothering you, as I realize I had nothing to worry about and everything was in my imagination. Honey, I need your help, I can't live without you. Look at me, look of what's become of me. I couldn't eat or sleep, as I was tormented from my thoughts and mostly from your absence."
"You are delusional if you think I can even bear to look at your face. Do you know what I've been through because of you? You've put me through hell and back you sick bastard! And how would you know about Alexander? How long have you been following me?" I snap.
And then I realize it's day now, as the sun is shining through the window and I've been missing since yesterday. Oh my God he will be worried sick about me.
I open my purse to call him and I see my phone is deactivated.
"I turned it off, as I didn't want anyone to interrupt us. Look I am sorry, I just needed to talk to you and explain I am not the monster you thought I was." He excuses.
"What? No Michael you are not. You are even worse."
And by that I push his hand away from the door handle and open it. I am not even running as I don't feel scared of him anymore. I left him crying like a baby, screaming apologies and begging me for one last chance. He is just a fucked up man who seriously needs psychiatric help immediately. How could I be so blinded and not see how sick his jealousy was.

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