I Need You To Fix Me (A Sebastian Stan Story) Book 2

Sleep

Sebastian's POV

It has been five days since our New Year's Eve party and Valerian has taken a turn for the worst. Since that night, she has been exhausted, so tired in fact that she can't even walk now. I had go and buy her a wheelchair. I think the fact that she is dying has now fully hit her.

A/N: I have slightly changed what Valerian is dying of. I just thought that I should let you know.

She wasn't able to visit Doctor Miles today, so instead she corresponded with through email for a few hours. I don't know what they discussed but Valerian seemed pleased with how their conversation went.

She is upstairs, sleeping. I have started cooking dinner so that she can eat soon. Little and often the Doctor advised. Today I am cooking her one of her favourite meals, cheese and tomato pizza with pineapple as a topping.

I think that it is good that she is resting as tomorrow our friends are coming over to discuss, well, to discuss "death details". A morbid topic but it has to be done. Also Vslerian and I are going to be completing items off her bucket list (or whatever she has named it). I am sure she has added more things to her list, I wouldn't blame her, she only has four months (well, three months excluding January) to complete a life time of experiences.

She is due to visit her consultant later.

"Seb?" I hear her weak cries from our bedroom.

I rise from my seat at the kitchen table and hastily walk up the stairs and to our bedroom. She is lying in our bed, wrapped up in the duvet. Valerian is resembling a giant marshmallow. I almost chuckle at the sight, except I surpress it because she looks incredibly frustrated. "Are you okay?"

She shakes her head, her eyes widening in fear.

Okay, now I am extremely concerned.

I walk over to her and sit on the bed beside her covered form. I gather my wife in my arms, holding her to me. I notice her trembling. "Val, what's the matter? Tell me."

My turquoise-haired wife buries her face in the crook of my neck, tears transferring from her eyes to my t-shirt. "I had a horrible dream."

"What about?" I whisper to her.

"I...I was alive...in a coffin...underground and I was calling for you but...but you never came!"

"Oh, Val." I hold her closer, rocking her back and forth slightly, trying to comfort her. She weeps further, her sobs echoing around our quiet home. "Sssh, it's okay. It's okay. It was all just a dream."

It was all a horrible, horrible nightmare.

XOX

Later That Day.

Hospital appoinments, Valerian's worst nightmare. She hated having to sit through the whole thirty minutes as the doctors told her how her final days would be. Everytime she sat in that brilliant white office that smelt of domestic bleach that made her feel dizzy, she always tried to picture herself somewhere else, still being told the same information, just anywhere but that hellish office.

This time, Valerian imagined Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor, talking to her about her final minutes on Earth.

She was sat on the steps leading to the TARDIS's main console, her knees brought up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Valerian rested her chin on her knees, trying to hide her fear. "Is it going to hurt?" her voice sounded small, barely audiable but he could hear her, he always could and always did.

The Doctor sat closely beside her, his shoulder resting against Valerian's. He was so close, that she see the slight rise and fall of his chest underneath his thick tweed jacket. "No," he plainly stated. "any pain you feel will be managed by large doses of drugs and anything else we can provide you with."

Valerian closed her eyes, knowing that her next question would be more painful to explain than the last. "Can you tell...what's going to happen, you know, when..."

She opened her eyes slightly, glancing in his direction. The Doctor was now looking at her, his eyes full of sorrow and dispair. "It'll...it'll become harder for you to breathe." he whispered, his eye contact never leaving hers. "Only, you won't notice. The-The rest of your organs will fail. By then, you'll just slip away."

"'Slip away'?"

He paused, fighting tears. "You'll just become unconscious and drift to sleep. Then...that'll be it."

"I'll be dead." tears threatened to leak from her eyes but Valerian forced herself to stay strong.

The Doctor nodded. "You'll be dead."

Valerian turned away from him, nodding. She accepted her fate, knowing that she couldn't escape it. "Dead." she whispered, burying her face in her hands.

"'Some days I feel everything at once. Other day I feel nothing at all. I don't know what's worse drowning beneath the waves or dying from the thirst.'" the Doctor quoted as he pulled her shaking form into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

"Who is that by?"

The Doctor shrugged. "O.M. apparently."

She chuckled softly. "It's a bit morbid, don't you think?"

He squeezed his arms around her in comfort. "A bit."

"Doctor?"

"Mmm?"

"Is...is he going to be okay without me?"

The Doctor didn't need to answer that question because Valerian already knew what he would say.

"Do you understand everything I've said, Miss Cassanova?"

Valerian found herself back in the office, no longer in the safety of the TARDIS. The Doctor had been replaced by her middle-aged, balding doctor called Doctor Hemm.

She nodded.

Sebastian's right hand was entwined with her left. The thirty year old male looked at her, his eyes red with tears and glistening paths of salted water, trailing down his cheeks. "We're going to get through this." He brought her hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss upon it. "We'll work things out."

Answer? He was not going to be all right. Her death would most likely tear his heart into pieces. Her death would leave no prisoners.

What was she going to do?

A/N: QUESTION OF THE DAY: IF IT WAS SEBASTIAN WHO WAS DYING, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT HIS FINAL WORDS TO YOU TO BE?

ME: "YOUR FANFICTION WAS AMAZING..."