He's my Superstar

21

SKY'S

"You know, let's... let's just break up..." Those are the words I don't want to hear, yet, I already did.

I saw how she breakdown... Nakita ko kung gaano siya nasasaktan at nahihirapan. And it's because of me...

I tried to stop her. I'm hoping that we could still fix it.

"Kesh, please... don't do this. I can't..."

But then I remember, it's hard to fix something that's already broken. Especially when it is beyond repair.

Ang dami na ngang hindi ayos sa relationship namin. Tama si Kesh, wala na kasi kaming time para ayusin 'yon. O kahit pag-usapan man lang.

"It's for the better, Sky. You can chase your dream now... without a burden." She said.

Magsasalita pa sana ako pero umalis na siya. No, no... I don't want to lose her... But I don't want to be selfish, too. She's too hurt, because of me. And it hurts me more knowing that she is hurting and crying. I wish I know how to stop her pain.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako naka-survive nang gabing iyon. Kinabukasan, may press conference ako. About sa album. Puyat ako dahil hindi ako gaanong nakatulog.

Gamit ang van, sinundo ako nila Colin at sabay sabay pumunta sa studio. Naka-shades ako pagpasok sa van.

"What happened to you? You look devastated!" Ani Colin. Sinipat ni Colin ang suot at ayos ko.

"My gosh! Tignan mo yung suot mo, gusot gusot. At ang buhok! Sky! What happened?" He asked again, looking frustrated.

"Don't want to talk about it,"

Umaandar na ang sasakyan pero ang kulit pa rin ni Colin. Kaya sinabi ko na rin ang dahilan.

"Kesh and I... we--we broke up."

I heard his gasped. "Kesh? Yung secret girlfriend mo?"

Tumango ako. Tumahimik lang siya sandali pagkatapos ay nagsalita ulit.

"Good. I mean, sorry for what happened. But I think it's just right. Atleast we have less to worry about now."

Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at bumaba na ng makitang nakarating na kami sa destinasyon.

"Go and dress up. You have presscon to attend to." Pagpasok namin sa dressing room.

Umalis na siya kalaunan at iniwan ako sa dressing room.

Pagkatapos kong ayusan, nakita ko si Ross na kakapasok pa lang sa dressing room.

"Hey, I heard... sorry, bro. Don't worry, Monica's here pa naman, eh." Sabi ni Ross.

"Leave me alone, hindi ka nakakatulong." I said.

"Sorry--"

"Leave!"

I snapped out. I can't believe them. How they can be happy with someone else's misery?

Kahit ganoon, nagpatuloy ako sa Presscon. Nagulat ako dahil paglabas ko ng dressing room ay nandoon si Monica.

"Hi." She said smiling.

"Not now, Monica."

"Hey, I'm sorry about the break up. Is it because of me?"

Tinignan ko siya nang masama. "Of course not. The world's not revolving around you. So stop messing with me today. I'm not in the mood to be kind."

With that, I walked out. Mabuti na lang at nagsimula na rin ang Press Conference.

"Congrats, Sky to your new album! And to your upcoming solo concert. What can you say about it?" Tanong ng isang interviewer.

"I'm thankful, of course. I can't wait to share it all to you, guys. Especially to my fans who supported me all the way, this is all for you."

"Wow, that's so sweet and humble of you!"

"So, is Monique one of your inspiration for this album?" Asked another press.

"Hmm, my fans are the main reason." I said.

Maraming pang tanong ang ibinato sa akin. Pero sa huli, natapos din.

Pagkatapos ng presscon, nagharap kami ni Colin at mukhang nagalit siya sa sinagot ko kanina.

"What the hell? Anong sagot 'yon, Sky? Sana nag-yes ka na lang nung tinanong ka about kay Monique!"

"Sorry. Magulo talaga isip ko ngayon. Not now, please."

"Sige, pagbibigyan kita. Pero ayusin mo yang sarili mo. Concert mo na next week!"

Hinayaan ko nalang muna siya. Saka ko na iisipin.

That day, umuwi ako sa bahay. I got scotch in my Dad's liquor cabinet. I just want to drink now.

Earlier, I greeted my parents. Tuwang tuwa si Mommy dahil sa upcoming concert ko kasabay ng pag-launch ng album ko.

"I'm proud of you, Anak!" Sabi ni mommy at niyakap ako.

I smiled and hugged her back. "Thank you, My. Kung gusto niyong manood, I'll reserve you a VIP seat."

"Okay, anak."

My dad's already okay with that, too.

Akala ko ay tulog na sila ngayon. Umupo ako sa stool sa may counter at nagsalin na ng scotcn. Nagulat ako nang tapikin ako ni Dad sa balikat.

"Need a company?" Tanong niya.

"Yes, dad. Perfect timing." Pagkatapos ay ikinuha ko din siya ng shot glass at pumwesto na rin siya sa isang stool sa counter.

"Dad, galit ka pa rin ba kasi hindi ko tinuloy yung engineering?" I asked him when were settled.

Sa pagkakaalam ko, okay na si Daddy sa career ko ngayon dahil nakita naman niya na kahit papano, may napuntahan ito. Gusto ko lang itanong ngayon.

"I was never angry with you, son. I just wanted you to have the best. And maybe, takot din. Ayoko kasing maging isa ka doon sa mga taong nakain ng sistema, dahil sa fame kapag itinuloy mo yan. Ayokong mawala ang anak ko sakin, samin ng mommy niya." He said.

Natahimik ako. Ganito ba yung naramdaman ni Kesh?

"Dad, I think I just became one... Kesh and I broke up. Because I hurt her so much. Because I loved my career so much... I gave importance to my career, more than her."

"It's not too late, anak. You can still fix it. Or if not, maybe you can try."

Umiling ako. "It hurts, dad..."

He tapped my back and slightly hugged me.
And I realized, this is what I need right now.

We had a long and deep conversation. Naintidihan ko na siya ngayon. Hindi siya nagtampo noon kasi ayaw niya lang, kung hindi dahil he wants me to be the best person I can be.

And I realized, nawala si Kesh... dahil sa sobrang paghahangad ko. Sa sobrang paghahabol ko sa pangarap ko, nakalimutan kong... pangarap ko din pala siya.

And now, she's gone... and maybe it's for the better. I don't want to be unfair to her. If being with me will just hurt her, then I don't mind letting her go. Even if it is the most painful thing to do...

And for what it's worth, I don't think that she is the burden. I think, it's the other way around.