The Rockstar Second Chance Vol. 5 Rocker Girl Series

Chapter 4

Addison

Two weeks ago...

Addison sat at the table looking at her boys as they watched TV in the front room. It was Friday night, girl's night, and Lynn told her that it was time to clean out her room and decide what to do with Win's things.

Just the thought of not having Win's things in their bedroom made her physically sick. She could still go into the closet and pull out one of his shirts to sleep with at night so she could smell him. The house had not changed one bit since Win had passed, in fact, everything still was the same. His boots where still sitting by the sofa like they were waiting for him to come home.

Quietly she wiped a tear that started to fall. The last thing she wanted to do was worry her little guys, they had already seen their mommy crying on too many occasions recently. Lynn was right, as much as she hated to admit it, she had to live life again, if only so her boys can accept their daddy's passing and start to live their life again to.

Both palms went over her face and then wiped her nose before putting the smile on that she had trained herself to have before going over to the boys. "Okay guys, mommy has some work to do. So, when Aunt Tia comes over let her know I'm in my bedroom." She told them.

Justin just sucked his little thumb and didn't even bother to answer; he'd gotten really quiet over the last year. But J.W. had also grown up faster than she wanted. "Okay momma." He answered.

"That's a good boy." She smiled ruffling up his hair and then leaned over to kiss Justin's chubby cheek. She got up and saw Win's work books sitting there, and then walked over to get them. J.W.'s little eyes watched her carefully as she did, so she just smiled at him. "Okay boys, if you need me, I'm in my bedroom." She told them one last time before going down the hall. But once she was out of sight, she fell back against the wall hugging the boots and taking deep breaths willing herself to put them in the Good Will bag that was in her room.

She finally pulled herself together and started towards the bedroom again, but stopped and stood at the door way looking everything over. The bedroom was the exact way that she took Win to the hospital, from the pillows that laid on the floor, to his shirt at the end of the bed, she made sure to put it back in place every time she washed the bedding. It was like in some strange way if she left everything alone, Win was going to come back home to her... but he wasn't. She walked into the room picking up the shirt from the bed and held it along with the boots as she sat down.

The phone started to ring and heard J.W. answer it. "Momma, Aunt Margie said to tell you that there on their way over!" He shouted.

"Alright sweetheart. Thank you." She called back, then with a sigh, got up off the bed putting Win's things in the black bag and went to go wash off her face before the girls arrived.

She turned on the water splashing it over her face a couple times. She pulled out a rubber band from the drawer and started to put her hair into a ponytail, when she glanced over and saw Win's tooth brush still in the toothbrush holder on the wall. She hadn't even realized that she never got rid of it. For over a year now it's been there, and she just now noticed it.

Her hands went to the counter as she shook her head. "He's not coming home Addison; he's not ever coming home again. But you have two little boys who need you now, so you need to pick yourself back up and be strong for them." She told herself, and before she could second guess herself, threw the toothbrush in the trash can. "It's just a toothbrush, nothing more... and it isn't Winston."

Slowly she opened up Win's dresser and started to take out his shirts, and that's when Tia waddled in. "Hi, Lynn and Margie are on their way. Lynn wanted to get pizza and beer, but was also picking up some juice boxes." Her sister explained.