44
Jazz
Its been months since we went here together with my aunt Lana and my cousins. I felt my self changing to the point that I cannot understand my self anymore. Hot night air of summer gently kissing my skin as I watch the sea waves angrily slapping the shore. I didn't see anyone. Maybe because its a private property or the bodyguards just cannot allow stranger go here.
"Hey bro nanay wants us all inside." Said Jace. I looked at him. I once saw my self in him we're like a carbon copy's but now that I have this scars I really think we're really not that look a like anymore.
"Go inside. I need fresh air." Instead of going back he walked closer and seat beside me.
"Jazz, I know you're so upset about everything. But we have to stay strong. I cannot understand everything but I know it all happen for a reason." I looked at him. I saw hope in his eyes. That everything turn as right as before but I know it wont.
After I killed that waste. I feel nervous not because I'm a 8 year old killer but because I cannot understand my own self. I feel like I want doing it again.
"You're so mean Jazz!!" He said while walking beside me.
"I'm Jazz that's why I'm mean." He encircled his arms around my waste and hug me tight.
"Jazz is Jazz. But stop being so war freak. You freaking nanay out!"
I didn't say anything. I just walk until we reach home....
.........
"Nanay I miss tatay." Si Jace sya lang ang kasama ko sa balcony ng kwarto namin. Natutulog si Jazz at kasama naman ni Jade si Alister na naglalaro sa dagat. Silang tatlo. Di na nila hinahayaang lumabas si Jade ng walang kasama. Talagang mahigpit na nila itong binabanyayan. Niyakap ko sya mula sa gilid ko. Sya naman ay inilagay ang kamay sa tyan ko at hinimas yun.
"I miss him too, baby but we have to wait for him. Babalikan nya tayo. Your tatay always fulfill his promises I know he will find us." Sabi ko. Alam ko naman yun pero masakit lang na di ko sya kasama ngayon. Ayokong matagalan kaming ganito. Ayokong manganak ako na di ko sya kasama.
"Nanay, Can I ask you something?" Tanong nya. Minsan na no nose bleed na ako sa kanilang tatlo. Di ko naman sila madalas kinakausap ng English. Pero sanay na sanay sila. Buti pa si Alister nagtatagalog. Sila minsan lang isang sentence lang yata.
"Sure baby what is it?" Tanong ko naman. Kasalanan talaga ni Jules to. Pag kasi sila sila ang nag uusap walang tagalog. Pero english. Ayan nasanay. Nosebleed ang nanay.
"About you and tatay. You're too young. Why'd you choose to be with him?" Tanong nya.
"You cannot understand for now baby. You're too young to know what----"
"Jade heard tito Amon said that tatay only rape you that's why you become pregnant." Sabi nito na kinalaki ng mga mata ko. Si kuya talaga pinarinig pa talaga sa mga anak ko yun! Patay sakin yung taong yun! Hinarap ko sya sakin. Nasa mga mata nya yung kagustuhang malaman ang katotohanan. Napabuntong hininga ako. Maybe kaya naman nyang intindihin.
"Yes, he raped me." Lumukot ang mukha nya na para bang iniisip na bunga lang sila ng pagkakamali. "He raped me because he's obsessively love me. Your tatay is one of my teacher when I was on highschool. We are close but I never thought that he will love me cause I'm too young for him and he's so hot and handsome that time. Haha. I never knew it until he rape me. Not just once but everyday of my life. He take me away from my family, from your tito Anthony." Nanlaki ang mga mata nya na parang di makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.
"He really did that! How could he! And tito Anthony? He become your lover?" Tanong nya. Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya para lang kumalma sya. Parang nagagalit na kasi sya sa ama nya.
"Baby let me finish, ok." Tumango naman sya. "Yes, He's my boyfriend that time but I broke up with him when I and your tatay found out that we already have you. And because you're already in my body I become more closer to you father. He became more caring more, loving. He really meant what he said that he love me and he will do everything for me to love him back. Day by day my anger slowly disappear to the point that I let my self to have a new life with him. Para sa inyo. Para sa ika aayos nyo. At ng mabubuo nating pamilya." Sagot ko. Napangiti naman sya pero nawala rin yun at napalitan nanaman ng pagtataka.
"Then why does he leave us?"
"He doesn't want to leave us. The witch made him leave. He case a spell on him to forget us. He leave us and live with the witch because he don't remember that we are existing. But our love and the fruit of our love break the spell and currently your tatay fighting the witch for us yo live peacefully. " kwento ko sa kanya. Napangiti naman sya.
"Tatay is the real version of Superman! More on Captain America! I want to become like him" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi nya. Ano! Gusto nyang maging rapist? "Nanay not in the part that he become your rapist. I just want to find someone who I can call mine and I will be a superman for her! Like tatay. I will love her until the end of time!!!" Ayun naman pala. Hehe akala ko. Magpapaka rapist ang anak ko. Wahhh di ko sya pinalaking ganun ahh!!!
"Nanay look!!!" Napatingin ako sa pinto. I saw Jade together with Alister holding some kind of shells and she look so happy. Napatingiti ako. Lumapit sya at pinakita ang mga shell nya. Its beautiful! All pure white.
"Nanay its beautiful, right?" Sabi nito na masayang masaya sa nakuha.
"Yes baby its is. Where do you want to put it?" Tanong ko. Madami dami rin kasi yun. Sigurado akong di nya bibitawan yun hanggat wala yun sa tingin nyang dapat nitong kakalagyan.
"Nay! I want an aquarium! A big one!" Ito. Natawa naman ako. Dahil ibinigay nya muna kay Alister and mga shells at nagmostra ng malaking rectangular shape sa hangin. "Can you buy it for me? It can help Jazz to relax. Base on research watching fishes swim can reduce stress. It can help us all!!" Ang lakas nitong maka research. Or kuha lang sa internet o sa creepy pasta? Doon kasi tambayan nya. Di ko alam kung masama para sa bata yun dahil puro bad sides ng society ang meron doon pero meron din namang facts and discoveries. Di ko rin naman sya mapipigilan. Hayaan na!
"Ok tomorrow we will buy aquarium."
"Wahhhh nanay!!! You're really the best!!"
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