Sander Sides Oneshots (Request open)

Janus Snaps

Summary: Janus has had enough and finally snaps bringing everyone else down with him.

TW: Metions of cutting, Roman angst, Patton angst, Logan angst, Virgil angst, Remus angst, Janus angst, self depercation, unsmypathic Roman, depressed Patton, metion of panic attack

Janus’s Pov

“Janus! Are you coming out today?”

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

I heard Remus sigh, “Alright...don’t forget to eat…”

“Yep sure.”

I heard his footsteps fade as he walked away. I rolled over on my side to face the wall.

‘Snakeface!’

‘Hi! Hello! What do you want?’

‘Liar!’

‘What are you? A middle school teacher?’

‘Evil!’

‘Lying snake!’

‘Go away Deceit.’

‘Evil snake boy.’

I sat up heading to the bathroom. I was about to splash water on my face when I ended up in the living room.

“Janus? Are you ok?”

“Perfectly fine. Why?”

“You’re crying.”

I quickly wiped at my eyes, “Why am I here?”

“Oh um I don’t exactly know…”

I sighed, “Who lied?”

“No one Snakeface.”

“Prin-”

“No Thomas let him finish. I want to hear what he has to say.” 

I looked at Roman to continue.

“All you do is hurt Thomas! You’re a darkside for a reason, you don’t help or get a seat at the table. I don’t even know why you exist! You should just go back to where you came from Deceit.”

I took a shaky breath turning back to face the middle of the room. A low chuckle left my lips as tears ran down my face.

“That’s it I’ve had it with all of you! I’m done with the names and the comments and the lies! You want the truth here's the truth. Roman you’re an insecure prince with a big ego that hurts people even when you don’t want to, to raise the ego and to make yourself feel better because one critical thing towards your work shatters you to a million pieces. You want to take my side and give me a chance back at the courtroom but because everyone else didn’t you went with them instead.”

I turned to Patton.

“Patton, you help everyone and put them first to the point where you don’t take care of yourself. You have never taken time to yourself since Thomas was a kid and that’s bad and not healthy but because no one else can do anything around here you end up cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everyone to the point where you don’t even eat sometimes. You are emotional due to you being Morality but the thoughts and depression eat you alive at night and you don’t get sleep. You cover up your bags with foundation so that no one worries.”

I took a deep breath.

“Logan, you over work yourself because you want to be taken seriously and not as a joke. You pretend not to have feelings when you do. You're hurting yourself more and more when you stay up till three am working and falling asleep at your desk only to stay awake all day running on coffee. You’re tired of being ignored and pushed to the side when everyone else says you’re not needed. For someone who tells his fellow sides it’s important to stay healthy and go to sleep early so you get nine hours you don’t like taking your own advice.”

I wiped at my eyes looking up to meet Virgil’s.

“Virgil, you miss the fun times you had with us. You cut us out of your life because you were terrified of what the others would say if they found you with us. That you would be sent back to us because you want to help Thomas and show him that you’re not the bad guy. Even though you’ve been told that you’re not. You stay up late and pull all nighters because of your thoughts plaguing your mind all night. You hide your bags with your eyeshadow and you hide how you really feel with your dark mysterious mood.”

I broke eye contact.

“Remus is insecure and wants to be accepted. He cares about Thomas and wants to give him ideas but he’s “bad creativity” so he can’t. Did you know he has intrusive thoughts ten times worse than Thomas’? Every night he goes and takes Thomas', making him lose even more sleep. He uses purple eyeshadow to hide his bags and shouts random thoughts to get them out of his head that's overflowing with intrusive thoughts. And no matter what anyone will say to him he wants everyone to be happy. He loves Roman and would do anything for his brother even if it means taking himself out of the picture. After the video he was in he came back crying from everything you guys said about him. I may be Deceit and not Patton, but I care about the sides I live with and hate to see them hurt.”

I let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t think you guys realize how lucky but broken you guys are. You can do your jobs without being called evil, snakeface, that all you do is hurt Thomas. But you can’t even see how much you hurt each other and us “darksides”. But what’s the point in doing what you were made to do when you can’t without having a mental breakdown every night and locking yourself in your room without food right? Right. At least that’s what I’ve picked up my whole existence. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go check on Remus because I actually care about him and when he’s lying to himself about to go into a panic attack.”

I left the sides and Thomas while tears poured down their faces not really caring at the moment. Right now I have to focus on saving Remus from a panic attack.

I walked into my room after helping Remus fall asleep to see a note on my pillow.

“You were right...I’m sorry Janus. I know you might want to hear it in person but I’m sorry. Tell Remus I miss him and that I hope he’s ok...please. And take care of yourself, that means to stop cutting. I saw the bandage under your sleeve.’

~Virgil.