Not Falling For You

Chapter 6

My ship landed at 18 hundred hours, I knew Iréne and Braley would be waiting for me. I walked along the hangar of the Hel Command and made my way to my quarters to get ready for drinks in the bar. I slipped in my key card and made my way into the plainly decorated room.

Although I'm commander of the Hel Command, my room was very plain. There were only a few colors I liked, black, white and green.

I had a large white bed with a silk black comforter. Across was my vanity with rows of perfume on top and a chest full of the finest jewelry. Then there was my mirror, a liar, always showing a reflection of me, that I didn't want anyone to see. Hanging out with Braley and Iréne, was the only time I could take off my mask and relax with my friends.
Next to my bed, was a pile of books, ones that I'd never really finished. No tv as I didn't have time for it, but I had my laptop, so that was fine. Over in the corner was my walk-in closet bigger than it needed to be and filled with black clothes with a pinch of white. I would never wear green, only to accessorize. My bathroom was small, with a bath and a shower, like any old bathroom. A message popped up on my holopad which was lying on my vanity.

You coming or what? - Braley

Yes, omw just putting on a bit of makeup and my necklace - Malus

I painted mascara on my lashes and applied a gloss onto your plump lips. I placed my emerald necklace around my defined neck, combing through my hair a few times before heading out the door.

I was greeted a few times by troopers and by some admirals before I had made my way to the escalator. Finally, I arrived at the top floor and made my way to where Iréne and Braley was sitting, chatting.

The private bar was just perfect, it was all outside, so I had the perfect view of the galaxy and of the planets we were passing slowly by, it was beautiful. In the middle was a bar run by Zedd, he was scary looking but a real teddy-bear on the inside and I was his favorite customer.

"Evening Zedd, got my favorite?" I winked at him, leaning my elbows on the counter

"Yes commander, coming up" he winked back, he turned around and started pulling glass bottles of many colors down from the shelf.

"You know I hate when you call me that, Zedd" I glared at him, of course he couldn't see me, but I had a feeling he already knew the facial expression.

"By contract, I have to call you commander, commander." his dark laugh rumbled.

"Yes, but what have I told you about the contract? It doesn't apply to you, so call me Malus, like we always spoke about."

"Okay okay," he put his hands up playfully and spun around with a blue and yellow concoction in his hand placing it on the marble countertop, "here you go and just for you." he popped an umbrella in the glass.

"Thank you Zedd, I owe you one." I turned around and made my way to my friends who were pointing at the view.

"Yeah yeah." I heard Zedd groan in the background.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" I sat down next to Iréne, carefully placing my glass on the white table.

"Nothing just chatting about Braley's new boyfriend!!" Iréne exploded in laughter and an angry face appeared on Braley's face, Iréne's laughter slowly died out.

"Hey, hey I never said he was my boyfriend okay, he's just good looking ya know?" He took a swig of his whiskey.

"Oh god, tell me about it." as soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted it, both pair of eyes landed on me.

"Hold on hold on, Commander Malus has a CRUSH?" Iréne squealed so loudly that the whole of the galaxy might as well have heard it.

"Spill." Braley smiled.

"Look guys it's nothing, I've spoken to him a few times and he was always escorting me to my meetings with Hux and Ren. He's super cute but it will never happen, I can't get distracted. Ever." I stirred at my drink after the words had settled into me.

I can't get distracted. I can never fall in love or get attached. I can never go on a date. I can never go on a walk around a planet with the love of my life. I can never have a child or even get married. I felt suddenly sick and my friends noticed.

Iréne placed her hand on my back,

"Hey, it's okay," a single tear rolled down my cheek, "Don't cry, it's okay, you deserve to be loved and you will one day once this is all over, just hang on." I quickly wiped my cheek and sat up straight.

"Oh god why the fuck am I crying?" I giggled.

"Because you're hurt, and that's okay. No one here to see you cry, just us so don't worry about it" Braley leaned in and wiped my cheek and Iréne stroked my back.

"Thanks guys, I truly don't deserve you, I love you guys" the words were true, but they didn't think so.

"Okay think you've had a little too much alcohol to be telling us you love us!!" Braley laughed and Iréne joined in and so did I, till all 3 of us were having a laughing fit.

"Let's get drunk, I need everything to go unclear."

I ordered 6 more drinks along with everyone else, the shots kept coming and everything was fuzzy. I peered out at the galaxy and all the stars were much brighter than earlier suddenly making everything very queasy.

"Okay-okay-okay I-got- gotta- go" I slurred, my stomach turning.

The thing is, no matter how much Braley drank, he was still intact with his body, he had control over himself, so he was never drunk. He still doesn't know why but he can never get drunk no matter how hard he tries.

"Come on, I'll take you back." he finished off the rest of his drink and stood up.

"Okay mr Braley!" I jumped up and Iréne helped steady myself and all 3 of us made our way to the elevator.

We finally arrived at my room and Braley opened the door for me.

"Goodnight you guys, I'll see you tomorrow" he walked out in a blur. Iréne helped me get changed into my satin black pyjamas and covered me in the blanket.

"Stay with me tonight Iréne... and please make the room stop spinning!!!" I blurted out. She giggled lightly and cuddled into the duvet with me. I feel asleep still dizzy from the room spinning.