Within the Writing

Chapter Nine

I was nervous after I left the note in his locker. I was starting to really want to take that note back, scarred he might actually show up later and even more terrified that he wouldn't.

"Hey, loser." Adam shoulder checked me and spun, walking backwards in front of me on our way to lunch. He was the only one I shared A lunch with. I was completely quite and didn't react to his name calling or the throbbing of my shoulder. I was too focused on the huge mistake I had made. I noticed Adam frown and he stopped in front of me making me stumble right into him.

"I said. Hey!" He caught me by the shoulders and shoved me back and down, making me fall flat on my rearend. I groaned in pain. The hard tile floor hurt my tail bone. I tried to push myself up but it hurt way to much to even try. I stayed on the ground, at least sitting up.

"What?" I murmured, trying to will the pain away long enough for me to get up and eat then go to the nurse to lay down with an ice pack on my tail bone. He grinned don at me, enjoying the superior position he was in and I lower my head passively.

"Meet me and the guys after school. At four, we're going to a party two hours outside of town and need a designated driver." He told me. My eyes went wide and I looked up at him pleadingly. Four was the time I was hoping to meet up with Aiden today. After school.

"Some other time?" I practically begged and he growled at me, shaking his head.

"You're not backing out of this one, fag." Adam stated through gritted teeth angrily. I nodded instantly, looking down at the ground again. I could feel his gaze on me and I shuddered slightly. "Good. See you later." He proceeded to the cafeteria after that and I stayed firmly seated on the ground. My nervousness was gone and was no replaced with disappointment and a bit of saddness.

When I finally managed to push myself up off the floor, a teacher had come to help me up. My tail bone really did hurt and I was mostly supported by the female teacher as she led me down to the nurses office. I'd probably have to get my tail bone x-rayed by a doctor if it didn't start feeling better soon. I sighed unhappily as I laid down on one of those uncomfortable cots in the nurse's office.

He gave me an ice pack which I promptly set on my backside and laid on my stomach, my head on my arms. It was approximately eleven thirty when the bell finally rang for B lunch to start and I was still in pain down at the nurse's office.

"Jamison Smith," I heard an all too familar voice and I groaned aloud.

"Yes, Mr. Rowe?" I asked the guidance counselor. How come he always tried to pry his way into my life? Into my problems? It was starting to become overly annoying. I don't think I could take his constant nosiness much longer. He looked at me and I felt my eyes trail over to him. "Can I help you?" I asked him, raising a slender eyebrow at him.

"Are you going to tell me how this happened, or keep denying me answers?" Mr. Rowe asked. Well when he put it like that it kinda sounded like I was hiding something. Which was kinda of the case in a sense.

"I think I'll keep it to myself." I told him simply. He sighed and pulled up one of those hard plastic chairs and sat beside me.

"Jamison, how long does this have to continue before you seek help?" He asked me. I bit my lip, looking away and facing the wall.

"I'm stronger than I look." I lied. I was just stubborn. Didn't want to burden people with my problems. Besides I knew Adam would get worse if people found out and tried to intervene. The counselor wasn't letting me win that easy this time.

"That's not what I ask, Mr. Smith." He pursed his lips when I turned to look back at him and I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"I'll let you know when I get there." I told him. "Now please, I would like to be alone." I turned to face the other way and he sighed, giving up and standing. He moved the chair back and went to leave but I heard him stop short.

"You know if you need anything Jamison, I'm here to help." Mr. Rowe said before leaving me alone. I sighed and found myself sitting up, needing to write. Needing to clear my head and get it all out on paper.

My tail bone hurt when I sat on it and I winces but pulled my journal out of the messenger bag and took my pen in my hand. I smiled softly and began the next entry.

November 23, 2010 11:52 am
Well my tail bone is in a lot of pain. Adam shoved me done but I'm not surprised. I left my secret admirer's note in Aiden's locker and was hoping but kinda not hoping to see him at the park at four o'clock today. But Adam ruined that too. I have to be a designated driver for one of his ever so wonderful parties. I'll probably be gone all night. Mom will be worried, but I'll make sure to check in. Then again...I could get in lots of trouble for driving. I only have a Learner's Permit. Why do the guys try and get me in trouble all of the time? It doesn't matter. He won't let me say no to this. Still has to make up for lost time I suppose. It's torture, absolute torture. Not to mention Mr. Rowe, the guidance counselor, is still trying to figure out what's going on in my life. He's really nosey. But hey! I only have to put up with this stuff for a couple more years. Two years and the guys will be out of school, that is if they graduate. As of right now I'm doing all their homework and keeping their grades and my grades up. So hopefully they graduate so I can finally be free.

I shut the journal and shoved it back in my bag. I was told to go to class at the end of C Lunch which meant I had to go to English. I sat in solemn silence and they didn't bother me as I focused on school work and when they day let out, I sighed, watching Aiden walk to his car as I followed Adam to his. I had been informed that Aiden wouldn't be at the party and that he had other arrangements. My heart sank and I slumped as I climbed into the disorganized car of my enemy.