Within the Writing

Chapter Fifteen

I closed the Facebook screen, not even bothering to look at the message. I felt betrayed still nd that betrayal led me to hatred. I wanted nothing to do with him but at the same time I wanted everything to do with him. He was under my skin. It felt wrong but so right. I confused myself and groaned loudly, slamming my head onto my desk forcefully, causing myself to gain a slight headache.

"Jamie? Is everything okay in there?" I was surprised to hear my father's voice on the other side of my oak door. I turned my head to glance at the door, just as he opened it and walked in, closing it behind him. I sighed unhappily and let my gaze trail to the carpeted floor. My dad sat near me, on the edge of my bed.

"I'm fine, dad." I barely breathed out. I felt him sigh then felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him. I easily took in the look on his face. He was hurt, run-down, and slightly disappointed. I could tell. I gulped quietly.

"Your mother told me, Jamison." He told me. I twitched then frowned, that feeling of betrayal surfacing again, like a wound being reopened. I shook his hand off my shoulder, glaring at him.

"She had no right to tell you anything!" My words seethed venomously out of my mouth. I was surprised how vile I sounded. How angry I was. He stared at me in shock and I stood up, grabbing my messenger bag.

"Jamie, I..." I cut him off with a harsh growl. I felt like a wild animal that had been locked up all of its life and had just now managed to escape.

"You don't know anything!" I screamed through the house. I turned and fled downstairs, pushing past mom, then Eve. Someone caught my shoulder and I spun around, fiding myself face to face with my sister's boyfriend.

"Hey...calm down, Jamison." I growled at his words. I was infuriated. True I was overreacting but at the time it seemed fine.

"I don't need to listen to you." I snapped then pulled myself from his grasp. I escaped outside into the cold, snowy white world without a jacket, nothing but a short sleevedshirt to cover my torso. I didn't care, it didn't bother me. I was too emotionally driven at the time.

Naturally I walked to the park. The trees were bare and everything was sparkling white with snow and ice. I shivered, starting to feel the affects of the cold winter air. I kept shoving forward though, through the tall foot deep snow and into the treeline of the familiar nature trail. I didn't care and I was still far too mad to begin caring. I sat down on a snow covered bench, sinking into the snow waist deep. I closed my eyes, and huffed then shook uncontrollably. My anger was replaced with unsettling shivers and my arms became red. I suddenly realized exactly how stupid I was.

"Jamison?!" A voice was loud and upset, fearful. I couldn't move. My body was shaking too hard and the corner of my vision was going blurry. Was this how I would die? Hypothermia? All because I had gotten angry over something so stupid. I had gotten angry because my dad cared for me. Because my mom told him about my journal. Because Eve had a boyfriend and I had the social skills of a worm. I felt a warm spot on my back but it was too late. I remember getting picked up before everything blacked out.