Barbatos's heart

Apologies and Confessions

Ready for some sappy love sh*t?? I hope so!

Barbatos checked his D.D.D. for the hundredth time. 5 AM. He sighed as he flopped his phone back into the mattress. He had been tossing and turning all night, unable to sleep from the events of the previous day. Finding out Elaina was pregnant really wigged him out. He acted inappropriately and did everything wrong. He should have been more mature and talked things out but instead, he shut down. Lucifer and Diavolo made him realize how ridiculous he was being and knew he had to fix things with Elaina as soon as possible. He just wished he could sleep or at least make time would go faster. He was too anxious.

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Elaina spent her night with Asmo and Aurelia cuddling up on either side of her. She was a wreck, but she was grateful for her two best friends. All she could think about was Barbatos's face when she told him the news. It was like his whole world was set on fire. She could see it in his eyes, all of his emotions working at once. She thought she saw happiness in his eyes and it gave her hope, but it was gone in a flash, replace with disapproval. She thought it was all her fault, but as Asmo said "It takes two to tango, sweetie!" She eventually cried herself to sleep, snuggled up in Asmo's arms.

5 AM. She felt wide awake, but couldn't escape the bed. Asmo had rolled on his stomach at some point in the night and his arm and leg were now draped over her body. She sighed as she tried to reach her D.D.D. but it was just out of reach. She didn't have much choice but to try to make herself comfortable as she clutched Asmo's hand for support. He unconsciously gripped her small fingers in his and mumbled in his sleep making her smile. "Silly MoMo." She giggled. A content sigh left Asmo's lips at the adorable nickname Elaina had given him so many centuries ago. "It's too early, Lainey. You need to get some rest. Staying up all night isn't healthy for the baby." He whispered as he placed his hand on her stomach. She couldn't help but smile when he said that. She knew she wanted to be a mother but she just wished her partner wanted to be a parent alongside her. 

It was still early when Asmo finally decided to free Elaina from his grasp. She carefully crawled over Aurelia and made her way to the bathroom. Luckily she didn't get morning sickness today and just decided to use her time to take a nice warm shower instead. She knew Barbatos was probably already awake and she wanted to try to go reach out to him but she needed to give him time. When he was ready, he would contact her. As much as it killed her to wait.

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Barbatos couldn't stand how slow time seemed to move. He groaned loudly and forced himself out of bed. He decided to get ready for the day and prep for his apology speech to Elaina. "Elaina, my dear. M-My love? Ugh..." He practiced on his reflection in the mirror. "Elaina, my love. I am sorry for how I reacted yesterday. I care for you deeply but... No... No. That sounds bad. I am so sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I love you! Obviously... Of course, I love her." He shook his head and sighed. He was almost as nervous to talk to her as he was when he first met her.

A smile played across his face as he reminisced about the early parts of their relationship. That crazy angel he despised at first. The one he didn't trust, the one he tried to run away from, had snuck her way into his heart and he was head over heels for her. He needed to see her. He needed to open up to her fully and completely. He had to tell her his fears, his insecurities, his feelings. He had to tell her that he would be there for her and that he would be there for their baby. 8 AM. He grabbed his D.D.D. and typed a message. "I need to see you. Please, let me come to you. It's too cold out this morning. I can't have you catching a cold. It wouldn't be good for the baby!" Sent.

Elaina had just gotten dressed when her D.D.D. went off. It was from Barbatos. She read the message and it made her anxious. She didn't know if what he had to say was good or bad but she wanted to confront this. She wanted to see him. Whether she wanted to hit him or hug him, she didn't know. Maybe both! "Okay. I will let the brothers know to expect you. I will be in my room. I'll kick Aurelia and Asmo out." She replied to his message.

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About a half hour later and there was a knock at her door. She opened it slowly to see Barbatos on the other side with a bouquet of red and white roses. The colors given together signify unity, and separately they signify love, passion, beauty, and innocence among other things. He presented her with the flowers and guided her to the bed. He held her hands in his and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Elaina, I cannot express how sorry I am. What I did was unacceptable. Please, let me explain. For centuries I have been the perfect servant, butler, and assistant. Whatever you want to label it, there is always that voice in my head saying to give up. Saying that I am still the same monster I used to be. All the terrible things I have done come flooding back to my head. When I look in the mirror I am reminded of who I was... Who I am, and what I have done. I am afraid to bring a child into this world because of that reason. If they knew who I was and what I did, would they hate me? What if something happens and I hurt them? What if I hurt you? All of these things constantly plague my mind and it hurts. I could lose everything I have built with you. I don't ever want that to happen. I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my entire lifetime. Nothing can compare to the time I have had with you. You leave me speechless with your actions, you make me weak at the knees. Every time I see you, I get Hellflies in my stomach. I become undone around you and I crave you near me. The thought of losing you breaks my heart. I obsess over it. I am scared.

The closer you get to me, the more afraid I become. Maybe I am crazy, but I can not help it. Sometimes I think the only way to protect you is to push you away and I tried to, but you are just too addicting. I can never get you out of my mind and I am just so soft for you. You have changed me and I am thankful. I just wish I could live without this fear. I want to be carefree with you. I want to show you my undying affection without my mind telling me I am evil. I want to forget my past but something is pulling me to focus on it. I am tired. I am so, so tired!" He cried.

Elaina looked at him in shock. She couldn't believe he opened up to her and left it all out there for her. She couldn't believe he was crying in front of her. He was finally showing her his vulnerability and she instantly melted. She hugged him tightly as he cried into her shoulder. The love she felt for him was overwhelming. She kissed his face all over wiping away his tears. "I love you so much!" He sobbed. "I know. I love you too, Barbatos. So, so much! I will keep you safe. It's not a one-way path. I can protect you too, Batey. I'll protect you from what breaks your heart. If I see you lose your way I will help guide you back. I will be your light in the darkness. Cling to me when you need to. I am always here for you!"

Barbatos looked Elaina straight in the eyes. He couldn't believe that she was in front of him. Someone so loving and understanding. Someone so precious and pure. Tears still falling down his face, he kissed Elaina softly. "I feel like this is all just a dream." He whispered. "No. You're stuck with me." She booped his nose and chuckled. Although his eyes were still red and puffy, Barbatos couldn't help but smile.

His eyes soon trailed down to her stomach. He wasn't sure how he would handle being a father. He still had his doubts, but Lucifer was right. It was real now and he would do his best to be a good partner and dad. "What do we do now?" He asked. "Asmo made me an appointment to see the doctor on Friday. Will you come with me?" She batted her eyelashes. Barbatos's smile grew even wider. "Of course! We are in this together!" He beamed as he placed a hand on her teeny-tiny baby bump.

"Now we just have to tell my father..."