Journey of a Soul

Chapter 42

It was Christmas Eve, and Billy had been in a bad mood all morning. Tonight, was the night that Susannah was supposed to move in with him. How could he pretend to be happy when all he wanted to do was buddy up with a good old brewski, put his feet up to watch the telly, and forget Christmas altogether.

He was just about to call his mom and cancel dinner with the family when his cell phone rang. Answering by sliding the yes button, he put the phone to his ear. "Ya?"

"Billy, it is your mama. Don't forget to bring your surprise Santa gift. Oh ya, and wear something nice." She hung up.

Putting the phone down, Billy sarcastically said, "Love you too, Ma."

Soberly sauntering into his bedroom with his shoulders rolled forward, he decided to get changed, knowing his mother would not be happy with what he was wearing now.

As he walked into his bedroom, he picked up a shirt that was on the floor, hidden by his dresser. It was the one Susannah had bought him. He had worn it to dinner the night she died. Bringing it up to his nose, he could still smell her perfume.

Inhaling even deeper, an image of her flashed before his eyes. She was kneeling over top of him teasingly. Her tousled hair was flowing down to her shoulders, wearing his shirt with the top three buttons undone revealing the outline of her breasts. His heartfelt like it was being pulled out of his chest. The pain of remembering her was too much to bear.

Tears started to form. He missed her so much. Tossing the shirt into the laundry bin, he grabbed some dress clothes from the closet. When is this pain going to stop?

Billy walked over to the front closet and brought out all the gifts. Luckily, he and Susannah had been buying Christmas presents since September. He remembered her saying that it was never too early to buy a gift. Especially when she worked for an antique dealer, and found one of a kind, remarkable pieces.

There, at the bottom of the pile of gifts was a small box that he had wrapped up for Susannah. It was an old antique key he had custom made to fit the door to his apartment. She would have treasured it forever. With more tears clouding his vision, he tucked it back into the closet and left.

Rushing up the stairs to his parents' suite, he forced a smile. Coming into the room, he went over to his mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek. As he patted his dad's shoulder, he said, "Merry Christmas, everyone."

The aroma of turkey dinner and all the trimmings lingered in the air. Billy took a seat beside his younger sister, Daniella, at the beautiful décored dinner table. His mom had transformed the old table into a festive sight to behold. It was covered with a hand-crafted tablecloth printed with sparkling gold snowflakes, and two tall white candles with their flames flickering and dancing. Her best Italian china was placed perfectly for each guest.

About to pour her brother a glass of Chardonnay, she changed her mind to the Pinot Noir, remembering he liked red wine. "So big bro, what is all de commoshun about a lamb, I hear? Mama was just tellin' us all about it."

"It is all just some kind of weird joke. I think God is punishing me." Billy made the sign of the cross.

"Billy don't say that, God loves yuh. Daniella, it is just crazy how Susannah's family is treating him. I think they are stupido." Maria kissed the top of Billy's head as she placed a bowl toppling over with mashed potatoes on to the table.

As Katarina, Lenny, and Rosalina came into the apartment, there was quite a commotion. Katarina interrupted the moment by saying, "Merry Christmas, everyone." She came around and gave her Mama, Papa, Nonna, Uncle Vinny, Aunt Clara, Billy and her sister, Daniella, a big hug. A smile came to everyone's faces as Rosalina copied her mama, trying to hug everyone.

"Billy don't yuh a worry about no lamba, yuh said there is no lamb, so there is no lamb. We believe yuh," said his Aunt Clara.

"What are yuh guys taking about?" Katarina asked as she sat down.

"It's nutting. Guys, I don't wanna talk about it," Billy said as he took the bowl of stuffing from his mom and placed it on the table.

Billy's dad, Antonio, boomed over all the other voices, "Nuttin', dis lamb has everybody in an uproar. Nuttin', can Jesus turn watuh into wine, Nuttin' my..."

"Mama, Mama." Rosalina was tugging at Katarina's skirt. "Mama."

"Not now, Nina, de adults are talking."

"Uncle Billy, Uncle Billy," Rosalina said as she tugged at his elbow.

"Nina, don't budder Uncle Billy, can't yuh see he is unhappy?" Katarina said.

Rosalina went over and started pulling an empty chair to the table. Seeing his niece struggling, Billy got up to help her. He placed the empty chair between his and Rosalina's chair.

Katarina looked over at her daughter and Billy, as she said, "What are yuh doin' Nina? Yuh has a chair here already?"

Placing her dog on the empty chair, Rosalina said, "Mama, Susie needs a chair."

Shaking his head and sitting back down, Billy said to everyone, "I don't even know what Lexi was talking about. A toy lamb and some crazy noshun about Susannah's soul being attached to it."

"Uncle Billy, Susie is with us."

"That is nice dah-lin." He patted her toy.

His uncle Vinny while making the sign of the cross, said, "How can anyone believe a person can be a ghost?"

"Susie's a ghost," Rosalina said to everyone.

"That's nice, dear," Maria said as she took the plate of turkey Antonio had just finished carving and placed it on the table.

"Let's say grace." Taking her seat at the table, they all held hands and bowed their heads.

Billy reached for the little girl's hand. "Nina, give me your hand. Nonno is gonna say grace. Okay?"

"No, yuh have tuh hold de dog's paw. Okay?"

"Nina, stop bein' silly and hold your Uncle Billy's hand. Yuh with me?" Katarina said, very sternly.

"No." Rosalina defiantly said.

"Little lady, he is not gonna hold a toy's paw, now take his hand." All eyes were on Katarina and her daughter.

"Mama, Uncle Billy has tuh hold Susie's hand, she wants him to." Rosalina started to cry. "She still loves and misses him. Okay?"

"What are you talking about, Rosalina. Who still loves him?"

With big tears running down her tiny face, "Aunty Susie. She is right here." She pointed to her dog.

There was not a sound to be heard, as everyone looked at Rosalina, and then at the toy.

Shivers ran down her arms and legs as Maria asked her granddaughter, "Rosalina, where d'ja get your dog from?"

"By the couch."

Making the sign of the cross, she said, "When?"

"The other day."

All eyes went from Maria to Billy.

Billy picked up the dog and looked at it. I guess it could pass as a lamb. Time stood still, the last few days of events went zooming through his mind. Lexi. The ring. Her calling and asking for the lamb. Olivia, calling and asking for the lamb. By the grace of God, he was holding the lamb. Tears started to form in his eyes as he hugged the lamb to his heart and said, "I love you, Susannah."

Antonio broke the silence. With a voice that sounded like thunder, he grumbled, "What in God's name is goin' on here?

"Mama, I gotta go, I need to find Lexi, right now." Billy shoved a piece of turkey into his mouth, grabbed his coat, and took the toy with him before anyone could say another word.