Another Family (CLEXA AU)

8)Roadtrip

I got in the passengers seat of Lexa's car and she quickly ran to the other side to get in the drivers seat. We both buckled up and Lexa looked at me.

"Are you ready Clarke?"

Was I ready? Ready to go to my mom's funeral and cry over someone who abandoned me and my child? Hell no. "Not really. We should probably go anyways though."

Lexa nodded her head and turned the keys starting the car. "If you need anything Clarke just let me know."

"Ok. Thanks Lexa."

"No problem."

We drove off and I stared out the window as my mind began to race. All of these childhood memories started playing in my mind like a movie and I started to feel my eyes tear up. Yes there were a lot of bad memories and moments with my mother but she's still my mother. I can definitely remember some good times in there too. They were all pretty short lived but still there.

I think what makes her death so sad is there's no room for growth in our relationship. She died on bad terms and we never got the opportunity to become close again. Part of me always hoped she would just wake up one day and feel sorry and apologize for everything. That day never came though and it's not going to come anymore and that's what hurts the most.

I felt some hot tears slowly trickle down my cheeks and I wiped them off quickly hoping Lexa wouldn't see. I know she said we would take this trip as friends so I shouldn't be scared to cry in front of her or whatever but I just don't want her to see me like this. I guess somehow she noticed anyways and she reached behind her at a stop light and pulled out a blanket and handed it to me.

"If you want to sleep feel free it's going to be a long car ride."

"I don't want you to be driving alone."

"Clarke it's ok really. I'm here for you in every way and that includes letting you sleep as I drive. You've had a long day and I'm sure you are probably tired."

Lexa was right. I'm extremely tired right now but I still feel kind of bad about leaving her alone.

"Clarke." Lexa frowned, moving a hand to brush some hair out of my face and behind my ear. "It's ok."

I nodded my head and my eyes started to tear up again but not because of my mother. This time it was a mix of exhaustion and emotions and something from the way Lexa made me feel so safe and it all became overwhelming. Lexa moved her hand back to the steering wheel and I missed the contact a little but the last thing I wanted was for us to get into a car crash. I pulled up the blanket around my body and leaned my head against the window, slowly closing my eyes and letting my body fall asleep.

"Mom? Where are you?" I asked, walking into the living room.

There was no response and something deep down in me knew the answer but I didn't want to believe it quite yet.

"Mom!"

Still no answer.

I ran to her room and knocked on the door. "Mom!"

Nothing.

I opened the door to find the room empty except for a note on her bed.

I approached the bed and took the note with shaky hands trying to read it even though my eyes were becoming blurry with my tears.

The note said 'Clarke, you have made a mistake past the limit I can fix. I am so angry and sad and honestly quite disappointed. I can't believe you've gone out and got yourself pregnant. And at such a young age. I believe it's your choice to do whatever you want with the baby but I won't be able to help you. This is a journey you must go on alone. I've packed up a weeks worth of stuff with me and went off to Marcus' house. Don't come to see me. You must find a new home to live in by the end of the week. You are no longer my daughter but now someone else's mother. I still love you and that will never change but you are on your own now. -Abby"