Another Family (CLEXA AU)

26)Leaving

"Ok that's enough Star Wars for the day." I chuckled, grabbing the remote and turning off the tv.

"What?! No!" Lexa protested, jumping up from the couch. "I have to know what happens next."

"So I take it you like Star Wars now?"

"Oh my god Clarke I love it. I'm legit going back to FireStorm to try and build a lightsaber."

"Lexa that's impossible the odds of finding a-"

"Never tell me the odds Clarke." Lexa interrupted me, quoting Han Solo already.

"Oh god." I sighed. "Maybe this was a mistake."

Our conversation was interrupted with the sound of Lexa's phone ringing. She looked at the screen and then quickly explained it was Lincoln. "I have to take this Clarke but it will be very quick."

I nodded, understanding she needed some privacy and I decided to walk to my room since I wanted to grab my phone charger anyways. I pulled the plug out of the wall then made my way back to the living room where Lexa was standing with her back facing me.

"Lexa? Is everything alright?" I asked, still standing in place several feet away.

There was no response. Not even the slightest movement. It was as if Lexa was frozen in time.

"Lexa." I tried again, only this time my voice was only carried through a soft whisper. Something was wrong. So wrong that I could feel this horrible unsettling feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. I dropped the charger, letting it fall to the floor.

Finally I saw Lexa slowly turn around to face me. Her eyes were red but she wasn't crying. She's trying to hide her emotions. I know her too well though. Lexa is absolutely devastated about something. I can't help but wonder What it could be.

I took several steps forward so I was right in front of Lexa and moved my hand to gently caress her cheek. "Lex."

"I have to go Clarke." Lexa breathed out, her entire body beginning to shake.

"Lexa whatever is going on you can tell me."

"No." Lexa protested, shaking her head. "I can't tell you this."

"Lexa please. I'm here for you." I croaked out, as my eyes started to swell with tears.

"I know. I'm doing this for you Clarke. For Aden and for Madi too. Lincoln and I must leave. I don't know how long we will be gone but don't try and find me."

"Lexa you don't have to do this. We said we'd stay together. I need you Lexa. Don't go. I Lo-"

"Stop...please." Lexa interrupted me. "Don't say it. I don't deserve it. I need you to watch Aden. I have no one else Clarke, I'm so sorry."

"So what, you are just leaving Aden? Lexa I need you to explain right now."

"I....I can't." Lexa then reached into her pocket and pulled out a small keychain. "This is for you." She explained, showing me the sliver chain with a small infinity sign. "This was just supposed to be a small gift for later but if something goes wrong, I want you to have something to remember me by."

I couldn't even look at Lexa in that moment. I turned my head to face the floor. I won't take this. I won't except whatever parting gift Lexa has brought me. I can't.

"Clarke."

"I don't want it Lexa."

"Clarke." Lexa tried again, tears now starting to stream down her cheeks.

I felt Lexa gently grab my right hand which was balled in a fist and gently open it. I turned my attention to my now open palm as Lexa gently dropped the small key chain into my hand, and then closed my fist again, holing her hand over my balled up fist. She raised my clenched up fist to her lips and kissed my hand, salty tears falling down her face and onto my hand as well.

"I love you Clarke Griffin." She whispered, quickly squeezing her eyes shut.

I couldn't believe it. I've wanted to hear those words from Lexa's mouth for what felt like an eternity but I never imagined it would feel like this. I cant believe a moment that was supposed to be so happy has turned into something so devastating.

"If you love me, don't go." I begged, barely even able to speak. I wasn't even sure if Lexa heard me until I watched as she broke down in sobs.

I tried to move to pull Lexa close to me and hold her and remind her how I feel, how she feels. But when I took a step forward, Lexa backed away.

"I'm sorry."

I don't know what happened next. Lexa was there and then she wasn't. I don't know how long I was standing in place, completely frozen in time but I felt like I was being tortured. The chain in my hand grew warms as I held on to it tightly, feeling like it was my connection to the woman I love. The woman who loves me too.

I guess love isn't enough though. I guess no matter how much someone loves you they end up leaving you anyways. Just like Paige. Just like Abby. Just like Marcus. Just like Finn. And now just like Lexa too.

Love isn't enough. It's not some magical force that can solve all of your problems like it does in the fairytales and the movies. No matter what you do, you end up alone.

"Clarke....are you here?" A Familiar voice asked me, as I stood in place still staring at the spot where Lexa was once standing, telling me she had to go.

I finally turned around and saw Abby in my doorway.

"Go away. You can't help me." I told her, as the never ending rivers of tears continued to run down my cheeks.

"Clarke-"

"You can't help me. She's...she's gone Abby."

Suddenly Abby rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug before I could even try and move away. I wanted to run and be alone but my body wasn't able to move. I guess deep down I was truly seeking comfort because no matter how hard I tried to pull away, I seemed to have sunk deeper and deeper into Abby's comforting hold.

"How did you know to come here?" I asked, surprised I was actually able to form a sentence in my fragile state.

"Lexa texted Marcus and I asking us to pick up the kids."

"What? Where are they?" I asked, suddenly feeling this overwhelming anxiety hit me like a boulder.

"Don't worry Clarke. They are at the hotel with Marcus. What happened with you and Lexa? All I know was she told me to come here."

"Lexa left."

Abby paused and I watched as her eyes widened. "What?" She asked, clearly not able to wrap her mind around any of this.

"She left with Lincoln and I don't know if they are ever coming back."

"That has got to be some sort of mistake." Abby frowned. "Lexa wouldn't do that. She loves you, she loves Madi and she loves Aden."

"Love isn't enough Abby." I stated firmly, trying to suppress everything I was feeling. I had to keep it bottled up. I can't show the pain.

"Clarke love is everything."

"No. You must recognize it for what it is."

"What is it?"

"Weakness." I answered, tightening my fist that was holding the chain and clenching my jaw. I don't need to be sad about this. I buried my emotions deep down and put up a wall, ensuring no one could reach me anymore. I won't let myself get hurt again. I won't let Madi and Aden get hurt either. I need to protect them.

"Take me to the kids."

"Clarke I need you to calm down first. They can't see you like this, it will scare them."

"Abby." I spat, practically bursting with a new found rage. "Take me to the kids now!"

Abby opened her mouth to respond but closed it just as fast. "Fine." She finally conceded. "Let's go."

An: You know it couldn't have been that easy. This is Clarke and Lexa we are talking about here. Their journey is far from over.