DWS III: The Vixen (UNDER REVISION)

1

My eyebrows creased as I received a new email from my father. I grab the box of cigarettes on the side and grab a stick. I lit it up and puffed the smoke onto my laptop screen. I slightly tilt my head, and using my free hand, I slide the cursor to that email and open it.

Subject: New project

Pagkabasa ko palang ng subject ng email na 'yon ay nawalan agad ako ng gana. What would I expect? Nage-email lang naman sa akin si Papa kapag may bagong project/mission siya para sa akin. If it's a call, then our topic will always be about those damn fucking projects again, asking me about the progress, but most likely, he will ask me if I failed or did something wrong. My mistakes are always the highlight.

I never received a call or email from him asking how I am, what I am currently doing, or kung humihinga pa ako. I smiled bitterly at the thought of it. From a man like him, ano pa nga ba ang aasahan ko?

Ilang taon na ba akong tumatanggap ng project nya? 5 years? He started to give me that when I turned 12. He believes that I am physically, mentally, and emotionally ready for that, and even though I'm not, I still should do it because he is the law I need to follow.

Simula noong araw na iniwan niya ako rito sa isla, nakakalabas lang ako sa lugar na ito kapag may project ako, kapag kailangan ako sa mga laboratory, kapag kailangan ako sa iba pang hide out, kapag kailangan kong pumunta ng university para i-submit lahat ng papers ko, kapag may importante akong lalakarin na hindi dapat patungkol sa sariling kagustuhan langm o kaya naman ay kapag may kailangan bilhin.

Never have I left this island for my own good and will. Like I will just go out to party? No. Pati noong nagkasakit si Mama ng malubha at naratay, hindi ako pinapunta. Noong namatay siya 4 years ago, ganoon din ang nangyari. Papa said that my presence wasn't needed there.

I never shed a tear, even though my heart was shattered that time. My mama is the only person who stayed by my side when I was young. She's the one who pampered me every time Papa hurt me. She's the one who kisses the pain away. She's the one who appreciated all my efforts and sacrifices, and now, she's gone. She's always there when I need her, and I wasn't there when she needed me. It was unfair. I should be the one to take care of her, but I am stocked on this goddamn island, trying to be my father's best puppet.

I never shed a tear. I never cried myself to sleep. I just open my eyes and conceal all my emotions, even when they burn my heart. This is what Papa has wanted me to feel since the beginning. He wanted me to feel numb.

I sighed and quickly answered his email, letting him know that I had already acknowledged it. I have three days to finish it. It wasn't that hard, unlike the others, because I just needed to provide him with the information that he needed.

I closed my laptop as I sent the email and puffed my cigarette again. The smell of mint lingers on my nose. This is what I like about my cigarette; it doesn't smell awful in my mouth or in the air.

Napatingin ako sa pintuan nang bumukas iyon at ang nakasimangot na mukha ni Leila ang bumungad sa akin.

"For the nth time, Aki, this place is the computer room and not some open area for you to smoke." My eyes automatically rolled as I finished my cigarette and put it in the ashtray. I puff on the cigarette one last time before standing up.

Tinignan ko ulit si Leila na ginamit na pamaypay ang kamay niya para hawiin ang usok na naaamoy niya. The room was secluded because this is a computer room. Naka-centralized kasi ang aircon dito para sa mga computers namin kaya amoy na amoy ang mint scent ng sigarilyo ko.

Leila sighed and walked in front of me. She opened the computer and sat down. Napataas na lamang ang kilay ko.

Leila was three years younger than me, but she was mature for her age. Like me, Leila also became a part of DWS at a young age. She also started to train early, and like me, she was also trained to be a hacker and tracker in this society. We had the same training, ang pinagkaibahan lang namin, I should do everything perfectly so Papa won't be disappointed, samantalang siya, kahit magkamali ay ayos lang.