DWS III: The Vixen (UNDER REVISION)

4

"You are not allowed to play and to enjoy, Akira. Do you understand?" Papa said in a hard voice as he threw a lighter on my toys, stuffed animals, and story books. It started to light up, and I cannot get my eyes off of it. Mama was the one who gave me all of that.

My stuff slowly burns as the memories in it slowly fade away from my mind.

"Yes, Papa," I answered. Papa walked in front of me, so I had no choice but to look up at him. His face was dark as usual. His jaw was clenching.

"Good. You are not allowed, and you have no rights to enjoy, Akira, for every minute and every second is important."

I shook my head as I reached for my drink. Memories from when I was a kid suddenly flashed back.

I was three at the time when Papa burned every toy and even the books that I have. Pinalitan niya ang mga english kids book ko into thick encyclopedias and books about hacking and coding. Sinunog niya ang mga laruan ko at pinalitan ng mga gamit sa pagte-training.

Ilang taon akong nabuhay sa ganoong sistema. Ilang taon akong nabuhay para maging sunod-sunuran kay Papa just because I am an Iwasaki and I should be raised this way. I should be raised perfectly and accordingly.

I wonder kung anong magiging reaction ni Papa kung malalaman niyang nasa bar ako ngayon at nag-e-enjoy? Sa palagay ko ay lalatay nanaman sa balat ko ang latigo niya at mas kasama pang malakas na sampal para matauhan ako.

Kahit kailan ay hindi nagmintis si Papa sa pagpaparamdam sa akin na kulang ang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Kahit ngayon na malapit na ako sa legal age, hindi pa rin siya nagmimintis. Ang huling pagdapo ng kamay niya sa akin ay nangyari dalawang buwan lang ang nakakalipas.

I was in training at that time at nanalo ang kalaban ko sa hand-to-hand combat. Hindi ko alam na nanonood pala siya and he saw everything. Isang malakas na sampal ang nakuha ko. Hindi niya rin ako pinatigil sa pagte-training and even asked his personal assistant to fight me.

Wala siyang pakielam kahit na ilang beses akong natamaan at napuruhan ng assistant niya. He wants me to learn my lesson. Hindi niya pinatigil ang assistant niya hanggang sa mapabagsak ko iyon. After that day, ilang araw akong hindi nakabangon dahil sa mga pasa at bugbog na natamo ng katawan ko, na-confine pa nga ako sa private hospital sa island dahil sa nangyari.

Hindi man lumatay sa katawan ko ang latigo niya, ibang pisikal na sakit naman ang nakuha ko. I wonder when would Papa stop? I wonder if he would even think of stopping? He wants me to be perfect, even though, in reality, no one can be perfect.

Until when will I seek his validation? Ah, I know. It will never happen. Sa akin niya ibinubuntong ang galit sa nangyari sa kanya sa nakaraan kahit na ilang beses nang napatunayan ang totoo. Salo at dala ko ang galit niya habang-buhay dahil hindi siya sanay tumanggap ng katotohanan.

I drank the last shot of my Cosmopolitan and asked for one again. I am still not drunk, I can still feel myself, and I know I can drive myself home safely.

"Here's your drink, Madame," said the bartender in a loud enough voice for me to hear him. He even winked at me, which made me grin.

"Do you allow your customers to take a cigarette inside?" I loudly asked. The bartender's face crumpled. Hindi niya siguro narinig.

I moved my finger, indicating that he should go near me, and so he did. I now have a full view of his face. He has a tan complexion and clean, handsome facial features. Thick brows that complement his dark brown eyes, and thick eyelashes too. Pointed nose, thin lips, and a strong jaw. His Filipino blood is also shouting. Tingin ko ay nasa early twenties lang din siya.