When Heaven Smiled

05

Chapter 05
Crush

I didn't receive a reply from him. Well, I'm fine with that. Ayaw ko lang na asarin nya pa ako roon. Kailangan ko lang siya bumalik sa klase dahil hindi ako maka-focus. Gusto ko malaman ang magiging galaw niya.

"Alice, hija, nainom mo na ba ang mga gamot mo?" Manang Diding asked. She was washing the dishes while I stayed in the kitchen with her.

"Opo," I smiled at her. Pinunasan ko na lang ang mga platong tapos na mabanlawan para may ambag naman ako sa pag-stay dito.

Hindi ko masasabing malusog na bata ako dahil madalas akong sakitin. Namana ko sa side ni Mama. I have medicine for my heart, dati meron ako para sa hika. Dati noong mas bata ako ay pabalik-balik kami sa ospital.

I asked my father once why I turned out like this? Pwede namang iba na lang. But he told me that I'm one of God's strongest soldiers. Sa akin binigay dahil kaya ko naman ito labanan. Walang binigay na problema ang Diyos na walang solusyon.

Pero ang sagot ko sa kanya noon, sa liit ng katawan ko ay hindi ko pa kayang maging sundalo. I am a child. There are days that we thought my body was giving up.

Kalaunan naman ay bumuti na ang pakiramdam ko. My health became stable. Maintenance lang. Maybe Papa was right.

"Mabuti na iyon kung ganoon. Ay siya ako na riyan, mag-ayos ka na at baka mapagalitan ka na ng mama mo. Magsisimba pa raw kayo." kinuha nya muli sa akin ang pamunas.

"Sige po." Tinalikuran ko na siya para pumunta sa aking kwarto.

I opened my closet then I picked a yellow floral dress. Off shoulder ito pero hindi naman revealing ang cleavage. And as for the length of the dress, above the knee siya. I matched it with white sandals.

Natanto kong kitang-kita ang collarbones ko rito. It was one of my insecurities. My body is awfully thin. I look sick. It was hard to pretend that it didn't bother me. People around me love to tell me that the physical aspect doesn't matter, what matters the most is your heart. I should rather learn to be meek.

Meekness is calm confidence, settled assurance, and rest of the soul. It is the tranquil stillness of a heart that is at rest in Christ. It is a place of peace. Meekness springs from a heart of humility, radiating the fragrance of Christ.

I wore my eyeglasses to take a final clear look. Ang singkit kong mga mata ang madalas na pinapansin sa akin. Most people who meet me for the first time think that I'm half Chinese.

Inayos ko na ang buhok ko ng half ponytail at nilagyan ng butterfly clip ang likod. Ang aking labi na lang ang bumubuhay sa mukha ko. It has a hint of pink. Pero lagi pa rin akong maputla kaya minsan kinakagat ko ito. I put on a tinted lip balm so that I won't stay pale and I brushed my black shiny hair for the last time.

Mama taught us to dress well especially when going to church. Dapat kagalang-galang ang suot namin dahil daw ikinalulugod iyon ng Panginoon.

"'Nak, you ready?" Papa asked when he knocked. Narinig ko na rin ang tunog ng doorknob, hudyat na papasok siya sa loob.

"Okay na po ako." I replied. He nodded. And after that, I went with him outside.

Nang tumungo kaming kotse ay doon ko lang napansin ang suot ni Kristoff. He looked so cute with his baby blue polo and black slacks. Ang pogi, I'm sure girls will flock on him someday.

Kristoff sat beside me, he's on my right side. While Ate on the other hand, is sitting on my left side. Tahimik lang ang lahat sa biyahe. Kaya naman nang may marinig akong maliit na tunog ay nilingon ko siya agad. I noticed my sister typing violently on her phone. She looked pissed for some reason. Sa haba ng kuko niya ay maririnig mong natunog na ang screen ng kanyang phone sa paraan ng pagta-type niya.