When Heaven Smiled

43

Chapter 43
Lost letters

"Hindi mo ba ako ihahatid?" I asked him even if I know the answer. Pinapahaba ko lang talaga 'yong oras na makakasama siya. Nakapag-book naman na ako ng Grab.

Now that we're both standing here outside of NAIA while holding our luggage, it really feels like we're parting ways.

"Hindi na, baka bigla kitang pigilan sa mga gusto mo mangyari e." aniya. Mayroon siyang inabot sa akin na plain blue handkerchief, nakaburda pa roon ang pangalan niya. Hindi nakatakas sa pang-amoy ko ang pabango niyang ini-spray doon.

"What's this for?" my brows furrowed.

"Para sa mga luha mo, wala na 'ko roon para punasan e."

"Ang drama!" natatawang sagot ko kahit ang totoo ay gusto ko na namang maluha.

He's just the sweetest...

"So this is goodbye?" he asked and I nodded.

"Live for yourself Max, I'll look forward to the day that we'll meet each other again." I tried my best to pretend that I'm fine. My eyes remained on his beautiful face. I was memorizing his features so I could clearly remember what he looks like.

Sana nga mangyari pa 'yon.

Sana kapag dumating ang araw na 'yon, hindi pa siya nakakahanap ng iba. I can't help but be afraid of the possibilities. I know that one day, he'll be tired of waiting for me.

I only have memories to keep... Nothing is certain. I envy him because he doesn't need to worry about me, I could never love another man again.

Nasubukan ko na sa apat na taon 'yon pero wala talaga. Siya lang talaga. Kung magkataon ay tatanda na ata akong dalaga dahil hindi ko na kayang magmahal ng iba.

Tatalikuran ko na sana siya kaya lang ay bigla siyang tumikhim at nagsalita.

"Alice, last request... pwede?" he exhaled sharply. I hadn't uttered a single word yet when he pulled me for a tight embrace, mas mahigpit 'yon kumpara sa mga yakap niya noon. "Isang minuto lang, huli naman na 'to." he breathed heavily.

Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik. I smiled to myself, at least we could finally accept it. I hugged him so tight that I think I could literally hear his heartbeat. Nakasandal ang mukha ko sa may dibdib niya.

I can't believe that this is how we're going to say goodbye. I don't want to let him go.

"One minute na, pwede na ba akong umalis?" I carefully asked him.

Baka kasi hindi pa ayos sa kanya ang isang minuto. Pero baka kapag lumagpas pa kasi ng isang minuto ay baka tuluyan na akong hindi umalis.

"Thank you," he said in a whisper.

"Thank you rin." I cleared my throat since I was afraid that I might cry. "If ever I come back and our paths cross again, please don't be a stranger okay?"

"I won't." he kissed the top of my head and bid goodbye.

Tipid akong ngumiti sa kaniya. At noong tinalikuran ko siya ay kusa na lang na tumulo ang luha ko. I wiped it immediately as I walked away. I stole one final glance at him, ngumiti ako sa kanya sa panghuling beses habang ang maleta ko ay inaayos ng driver sa trunk.

He waved his hand for the last time. I saw his eyes glistening. I looked away immediately because I hate to see him cry, I hate to see him hurting.

Habang nasa loob ako ng Grab ay naisip ko ang katotohanan na nasa harap ko na. I ended the year with him and now I'm starting a year without him in my life.