When Heaven Smiled

08

Chapter 08
Music

"Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Psalms 51:11." I read the verse out loud.

Paulit-ulit ko iyong sinabi para tumatak sa aking isip. My brain wasn't in its best condition. I needed something to hold on.

I closed my Bible and got distracted by its color. Bago kasi ito, kulay pink at gold ang edges ng pages. This time, I couldn't understand the message fully. Ang daming pumapasok sa utak ko.

In the end, I didn't grasp the message. Itinabi ko ang Bibliya pabalik sa aking book shelf.

Isang malapad na crocheted pastel yellow headband ang sinuot ko. I fixed myself so I wouldn't look bothered by anything. It's like a protective gear of my mind.

"Alice, halika nga." tinawag ako ni Papa bago ako umalis papuntang school.

Palapit na ako sa aming double doors pero naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya. My brows shot up, indicating my confusion. Our dead silence made me think that he would talk to me about serious matters. Nababahala rin ako dahil halos itrato nilang hangin ang isa't isa rito sa bahay.

Ngunit nagkamali ako. Bigla akong niyakap ni Papa. Tahimik lang siya nang gawin niya iyon. I felt him rubbing my back cautiously. Para akong isang manipis na babasagin na gusto niyang ingatan.

"Mag-aral kang mabuti ha," bulong niyang marahan. It was comforting for a while... not until, "Alam mo namang sa inyong tatlo ikaw ang pinakamatino. Inaasahan ka namin. Your ate hasn't matured yet... Huwag mo rin sanang pababayaan si Kristoff. He idolizes you so much."

"Opo," I tapped his back too. "I'll make you proud." ngumiti ako kahit hindi niya nakikita iyon.

Something pinched my heart. Maybe, there are times that we want to be understood but we fail to understand others' situations. Gusto natin pakinggan tayo ng mga magulang natin, pero hindi rin naman natin iniintindi kung ano ba ang gusto nila mangyari. Hindi bukas ang tainga natin sa mga opinyon at pinanggagalingan nila.

"Good, do well in school." My papa encouraged me.

Nakarinig ako ng tunog ng takong pababa ng aming hagdan. Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sa aking ama. My gorgeous mother was wearing her corporate attire and was ready for work.

"Hon..." Masuyong tawag ni Papa.

My mother eyed her. Lumitaw ang pagkamaldita. Hindi si Mommy ang tipong mauunang mag-sorry.

"I am sorry," ani ng aking Papa. He was reaching Mama's elbow. "I promise I'll clear things out. Lalo na kay Ariana."

Muling tumingin si Mama sa kanya. Mas malambot ang ekspresyon nito ngayon. My father's eyes gleamed while looking at my mom. Marahan niyang hinahatak ang braso nito para pansinin na siya.

"All right!" My mom gave in. Hinayaan niyang higitin siya ni Papa. She rolled her eyes when he kissed her on the cheek. She had a difficult time hiding the ghost of a smile on her face. I was the only one who noticed that.

I shook my head while smiling. Instead of cringing, I found it sweet. Mas mabuti nang nagkabati sila. My father may be strict and hardheaded sometimes, but he always melts when it comes to Mama.

I was born and raised in a family that laid out beautiful things for me. I wasn't sure if I already had a clear view of what ugliness life could offer.

It was something I was afraid of; to view the world from a bigger perspective, realizing that I will never have a place in it. Baka ito ang dahilan kung bakit hindi nila ako pinapalabas. Maybe they weren't ready yet to see me experience how harsh the universe is out there. For now, I will remain in my cage until I learn how to fly.